I'm in puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Hopefully, and if everything goes well, in less that 12 hours I will have the VSG.
I'm very nervous. It is a huge change. I'm afraid of dying, not for me, but for those I love. I would never want to make my mom or sister suffer, but I have deprived them of a life with me because I'm always depress in my house, or of feeling ashamed of my weight.
I know recovery will be painful, but I hope and pray to God this goes well and I can handle everything with strength and peace.
I know once I'm awake from surgery, it won't mean everything is perfect. I already had a few surgeries in the past and complications happened about 2 weeks after. So whomever is reading this and believe in the power of prayer, please send some this way. I will forever thank you.
I'm having this surgery because I'm tired of seeing the best years of my life go by, and I don't do nothing about it. I'm tired of all the struggles, I'm afraid of my diabetics getting worse, I'm tired of being tired, feeling hopeless in a room isolating myself.
I've suffer several emotional disorders due to my obesity and my fear of being seen like this. But is time to change my life and embrace this new opportunity.
I've decided to do this journal to keep track of all the changes. I want this to be about me. I'm doing this for me but also for my family because I want to give them the best of me, and I never want to forget that they were my most important motivation.
This is one of the hardes decisions I have made in my life, there is nothing easy about this surgery. I will have to find the strength to say goodbye forever to many foods that were nothing but addictive and unhealthy. I have to to this the right time this time.
It almost 5am and as usual, I cannot sleep because I slept too much during the day.
I'm happy to report that my surgery went fine. Each time I walk by the hospital chapel, I cry thanking God for this new opportunity.
I don't remember waking up from surgery, the dr explained they had to use a lot of anestecia because the fat from my belly was absorbing it fast. Whatever that means. All I know is that I was so high when I woke up in my room at night time. I barely could talk, move and was feeling no pain at all.
All night I was so thirsty, those hours were endless, but the next morning we had a leak test and finally I could have water. I felt discomfort with every sip, but nothing horrible. Whenever I'd go walk I'd get nauseous, but it has gotten better.
Today, hopefully, I can go to the hotel.
I don't like the teas or juices. I just loved the chicken broth I had today.
I'm a bit scare about the Fly back, it's 3 hours to get to Dallas and another 3 to get to Tampa.
But I already overcame the biggest fear, I can now do anything.
I'm happy! Thank you Jesus!
Thank you all who prayed for me!
To track everything in myfitnesspal (honeybee165)
To not become obsess about the scale
To be kind to myself and take it easy when I am feeling down
To start reading the end of over eating
To eat/ drink slow