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partial unfill

I called fillcenters and scheduled a partial unfill, I was within the 72 hours, so there was no charge from them, just the doc's fee for the flouroscopy. I woke up at 179 today, that's 8 lbs in less than 72 hours, my body was gettin weaker from 2 days of less than 200 calories each.   I need to be smart and be okay with things not happening as fast as I may want them.   What I have learned about my body-- I am not one who can have a ton of fill at a time. I have had as much as 2.4 and I kept that for a year and I was overfilled, but functional. I need to ease into fills or I get in trouble. I need to realize that if I am PB-ing all the time, I am not okay and I am hurting my body in other ways. I am just having medical bulimia. So I am at 1.4. Dr, M said he was comfortable with 1.5 and to be honest- I was so hungry and dehydrated I said to just keep it at 1.4 and not take any chances. If I need another fill in a month and then another a month later, so be it and I am thankful that I live 15 minutes away from a fill doctor. I left and got a McDonald's shake-- I know it had no nutrition in it but I was fading. I needed some calories. I drank 2/3rds of it and I feel better. I'm stillp retty weak, but I don't want to kill people now. The PMS doesn't help with that,lol. Dh is going to move the exercise bike into our bedroom this weekend, I love just nesting in my bedroom and this will help put the workout stuff- where a workout may actually take place. I wish I was a person who liked to exercise and who enjoyed it, but so far I haven't been consistent enough to really see if I could ever enjoy it. I exercized like crazy when I was a teen with anorexia, so my last bouts with it, were pretty screwed up. I need to seriously deal with the parts in my head and heart that got my relationship with food so off track in the first place. I need to develop a healthy relationship with food and exercise and my body image. Time to do the part that is actually harder than not eating cheeseburgers.
Spyswife

Spyswife

1
 

Bleah again

Morning weight is 181.7. Still feel that golf ball in my throat and am going to just sip water or crystal light today and not try and get hot cocoa down like yesterday. If I am still this tight on Monday I will schedule to have some taken out. I am frustrated because it seems that it's such a crapshoot with fills. If I am overfilled, I have to realize it within 72 hours or I pay another freaking 250 bucks, when it takes about a week for my body (and for many) for the swelling to go down and see where you are really at. I have had this level of fill before and it wasn't enough. I wish there was a week or 2 week window for adjustments. I really cannot know for sure until a good week after the fill and it's frustrating as heck to be .2cc's too much or too little and then I get to spend another buttload of money.   Today I am feeling annoyed with myself for going so off the wagon last month, but I really was in a rut and I was living on milk duds.   I remember being told that as long as I can get saliva down, I am okay, but it seems like right now that's all I can get down. I have kept a few sips of water down this morning, I am always tight in the mornings but yesterday I stayed super tight all day. I need to not think about it too much or the stress will make me even tighter.   Bleah again.
Spyswife

Spyswife

1
 

Bleah

My story in a nutshell-- I was banded Nov/Dec 2006 by Dr. Huacuz in Mexico and hit my goal by the end of the following summer. I use fillcentersusa for fills and see Dr. Muse in Murray, Utah. I started out 217 pre-op but have weighed as much as 240 in my struggle to keep my eating under control. My goal was to be a size 12 which is about 160-165 lbs for me.   I maintained at between 165-170 until last month when I just got fed up with some things and decided to see how I would do without any fill at all.   In a month I gained back 18 lbs. I kind of went nuts. I went back in yesterday and attempted to have get back to where I was fill-wise a month ago and could not get water down. Ergh. I know where my band needs to be to lose and mr Dr. and I debated back and forth over the right amount. We compromised at 2.0cc's, but he was leery, thinking I may be overfilled. I was at 2.4 before I went on my Pizza Hut binge.   Yesterday I was able to get some food down, had some fish and even a few cookies last night, everything was just fine. Today I have been super tight and am struggling to keep fluids down. I need to just make sure I stay hydrated for the next few days so my body can adjust. Bleah.   I'm feeling motivated again to lose weight and as long as I don't have too much fill right now, I should be back on track and able to lose the stupid setback from last month. I will admit that the cheeseburgers were wonderful, but the self hate wasn't worth it.   I feel like I have a golf ball in my throat. Bleah.Bleah. Bleah. They need to make a PBing smilie.:thumbup:
Spyswife

Spyswife

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