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About this blog

I was banded on December 17th, 2009 by Dr. Robin Blackstone of Scottsdale Bariatric Center. I received my first fill (3cc) on 1/27/10, second fill (1.5cc) on 2/10/10, third fill (.75cc) on 3/1/10, fourth fill (1.25cc) on 3/29/10, fifth fi

Entries in this blog

 

Yesterday was so busy...

I know I overdid it, but how can I help myself when it is so close to Christmas. I had my post-op class yesterday morning. There were really only two topics... A psychologist came in to discuss the difference between head hunger, real hunger, how to rate your hunger, etc. Then, a dietician came in to discuss the rules around our eating for the first month. It was all good!   And, I was feeling good so decided to stop at Costco on the way home for some stuff I need for Christmas Eve and Christmas. My parents are flying in tonight. Not staying with us, but I am hosting all day in my home on Christmas Eve and Christmas so there is a ton of meal planning and food that I need for everyone. Well, I got some of what I needed at Costco, but they were out of fresh turkeys that were big enough for what I need so I stopped at Safeway on the way home. Originally, I had planned to just get the stuff that they might run out of and then send my husband back for the rest. But, I was there and it just seemed easier to get it all done.   By the time I got home, it was 2pm and I was STARVING! I had not eaten since 8:30am and all I had then was cottage cheese. So, I took two pieces of turkey deli meat, put a little cheese in each one, rolled it up, and microwaved it. Then, proceeded to eat it AS I put the groceries away. I chewed very well, but this is so NOT what they mean by 'mindful eating'. LOL Oh well, live and learn. I know this is something I have to work on... I tend to go go go until I am about to colapse. It worked out OK this time, but the reason they don't want you to do that is you can end up eating too fast or grabbing something unhealthy because you are just out-of-your-mind with hunger.   OK, so by now my incision are killing me. All that shopping meant a lot of stooping, reaching, and lifting took a lot out of me. So, I laid down for awhile. After awhile, my husband came in and offered to take the kids out for dinner so I could rest some more. Great! But, did I rest? Nooooooo, I immediately got up and wrapped the presents I got for him and presents for my parents. More stooping, reaching, and lifting to get the presents out of their hiding places and get the wrapping stuff out of the box that was on the floor. I never realized how much I am picking stuff up off the floor!!! So, by the end of all that I was REALLY wiped out!   Last night was a torturous night sleep. I had still been taking the Lortab every night. I love anything that makes me drowsy at night. :cursing: But, I decided it was time to be done with this, so I didn't take it. And, boy did I have trouble falling asleep and I kept waking up w/an annoying dry little cough. The most annoying thing about this cough is that it REALLY hurts my port site every time I cough. So, instead of just a little cough, roll over and go back to sleep. I cough, have sharp burning pain that completely wakes me up, try to roll over (woops, cannot do that yet), and then lay there obsessing about how I am gonna get any sleep w/this cough. I took cough drops, drank water, etc., but the annoying little cough kept coming back. Ugh! :scared2:   So, hence, why I am up earlier than needed... to put an end to that torture. I have my post-op check-up this morning where they check my bandages, etc. and will ask if I can take benadryl to help me sleep now. This is what I normally take when I have trouble and my PCP says that is fine, but I want to make sure it is OK for my pouch first.   Oh, one other thing I wanted to mention is I seem to have developed an unhealthy addiction to the scale already. My water weight is finally coming off and I am seeing some lower numbers. I know from past dieting on WW that I should not be checking the scale all the time, though. It is giving me that diet/weigh-in/obsessing mentality. I might need to get rid of it!
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Wine, Cake, and Moderation

I have to admit that one of my biggest hurdles w/the band is trying to figure out how/when/if I can still enjoy wine. I've been all over the place w/it from completely cutting it out to having a couple glasses a night like I used to. I am totally committed to create a lifestyle w/the band that is healthy, enjoyable, and sustainable. The problem is I truly love wine and the band just can't help me w/that... empty liquid calories sliding right through.   So, I've tried different ways of keeping it in my lifestyle, but putting some rules around it so that it is not a daily thing. I just haven't come up w/a rule that I could really embrace. If I set a number of drinks per week, then that feels like a diet. And, its really more about putting it in its proper place in my new lifestyle rather than limiting to a certain number.   This all got me thinking... what is something else in my life that I love, but have learned to moderate well? And, the answer is... Cake! I LOVE Cake!!! If I could eat cake every day, I would. And, there was a point in my life when I actually did. I would buy those single serving slices at the grocery store and have a little bit after lunch and a little bit after dinner. Yeah, I really knew how to live it up when I was 'off' a diet. :mad:   But, I learned long ago (way before the band) that this just wasn't gonna work (diet or no diet). So, I managed to tame my cake habit. Now, I never buy cake just to eat for no reason. But, I thoroughly enjoy eating a piece of cake at EVERY birthday party I go to, every wedding, every baby shower, and I may even order a slice to share after a nice dinner out. Its just not a daily thing or even a weekly thing anymore. Somehow I have learned to put it back in its proper place as a special occasion treat. And, this is exactly what I need to do w/wine. Epiphany! :w00t:   My new mantra, repeat after me... wine is cake wine is cake wine is cake   Would I eat cake right now? No? Then, no wine. Wine is for special occasions! :frown:
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Two pounds in two days!

I will never understand why it is, but my weight really does seem to come off in spurts w/the band. And, I'm happy to see that I'm having another weightloss spurt right now... two pounds in two days! Woohoo!!! :thumbup:   My restriction since my last fill seems to be holding strong. I am actually eating out of custard cups now. And, not because I am trying to limit my portions (my doctor doesn't have any rules about how much you can eat - just that you should not eat for longer than 20 minutes). But, if I take more than a custard cup full, then I get too full before I'm done and have to throw some away. And, I absolutely hate throwing food away! I know I gotta get over that, but for now its easier to eat out of the custard cups.   Anyway, I'm just so happy w/how the band is working for me now. It is so truly amazing. I'm almost never hungry and even if its been 5 hours since my last meal, I only feel a little hungry. I used to get so ravenously hungry my stomach would actually be in pain and I would get so irritable if I went too long without food. Even the weightloss aside, its really cool that I can just go go go without really needing food. I know that is not the point of the band, but for a busy mom, this is so very convenient. :cool:   The best thing about this last fill, though, is that I've totally lost my fear that this band won't work for me or that I won't be able to lose as much weight as I want. For the first time, I just can't imagine that it won't work. Add up the facts that I am not hungry, I am satisfied on very little food, and I am loving my exercise routine (Jazzercise) and there is just no way I won't succeed. This is nothing like any other diet I've been on because YES, I can embrace this as a lifestyle. I'm actually enjoying the journey, not just white-knuckling through it as a means to an end.   I think this might be what they call the 'Sweet Spot'!
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Two More Pounds! Woohoo!!!

Finally, the scale is moving down some more! My body just seemed to love the range of 218-220... has been hovering there for 25 days (not that I'm counting or anything LOL). I saw 218 yesterday and have been soooooo good lately about following the rules and getting serious exercise in, I was really hoping I might finally see something lower than 218 today... like maybe 217 or 217.5. I would even take 217.9, but I have an old scale that only goes in half pound increments. But, what do I see this morning...   :w00t::w00t::w00t: 216! Woohoo!!!:w00t::w00t::w00t:   TWO pounds down from my lowest weight. And, I'm proud to say I DESERVE it! :sad:   Boy, this band will drive you crazy w/self-doubt because the weight just does not come off very steady. Seems to come off in spurts for me. But, I don't have proper restriction yet either so that may be part of the reason for this (as well as not always consistently following all the rules ). Anyway, regardless of HOW the weight is coming off, I am still thrilled w/my band because it IS coming off. :blushing:
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Too Thin for Surgery!

This is an exciting milestone for me. Yep, I now have a BMI of 34.8... too thin for surgery. Well, according to my insurance that is. Of course, I still have a lot to lose to get to a healthy weight. But, I am down 40 pounds now and boy can I feel a difference. I have a ton more energy and everything seems physically easier. :smile2:   Its the little things that really add up. Its easier to do the dishes, the laundry, pick stuff up off the floor, even just reaching across the big tub to turn the water on and off for the kids when they take a bath. I know that sounds crazy, but I used to feel like I was gonna fall over when I did that because I had 40 more pounds hanging off of me and mostly in the front of my belly.:smile:   I was trying to explain to my DH just what a difference it has made and the best example I had was for him to imagine that he had to carry our daughter, Jillian, around all day every day for everything he had to do. She weighs 37 pounds right now. Yeah, its amazing!!! :thumbup:   Well, I can now say w/confidence that this band is really working for me. I am one month out from my last fill and my restriction is holding strong. Occasionally I feel a little too tight and occasionally I feel a little too loose, but for the most part I feel just right. I am eating three meals a day (no snacks) and not feeling hungry in between. Went to Vegas this past weekend and still lost two more pounds this week! Woohoo!!! :w00t:
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Today is the Day!!!

My stomach is growling My butt is sore (from the bowel prep) My laundry is clean (and the kids' too) My house is clean (kinda) My medicine cabinet is stocked with... gas-x strips and chewable vitamins My pantry is stocked with... diet jello herbal tea and low sodium chicken broth My treadmill is dusted off My Christmas presents are bought My husband will have to do the rest!!!   OK, my attempt at a poem of sorts. I do find it a bit humorous how much preparation goes into this half hour surgery. And, you all know this poem doesn't even begin to cover it all. I could write a separate one about the insurance junk. But, here I am, the day is finally here! :tt1:   My surgery got moved back up to 12:30 so I am really happy about that. I was scheduled for 2:30 and was wondering how I would make it that long without food. A 12:30 surgery time makes it a lot easier because I need to be at the hospital by 10:30 which leaves a lot less idle time around here to wallow in my hunger. My 6 yr old son heads off to school at 8:45, then my MIL gets here at 9:15 to watch my daughter, then my hubby and I need to leave by 9:45 to be at the hospital, parked, and in there by 10:30. I'm just enjoying a few silent moments here before my kids wake up.   I am anxious to get this over with, but not worried. I mainly just want to be knocked out so I don't have to feel this awful hungry feeling anymore.
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The Day Before the Day Before...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! I'm freaking out, but not freaking out at the same time. I just can't believe the day is almost here.   Nevermind about all that good stuff I said I was gonna do this last week in my 'T-7 Days' post. Not saying I've been 'bad', but I haven't been THAT good about meeting ALL of those daily goals. I just feel like I'm going crazy trying to get everything done that I need to before surgery. Its like Christmas is on the 17th because I figure I'll be out of commision until Christmas so everything I need ready for Christmas, has to be ready by the 17th. Oh well, excuses, excuses, but I am doing the best I can and still following all of my surgeon's rules.   I tried to get out of some of my Christmas commitments, but my DH is a stickler for tradition and doesn't want to cut anything out this year. So, we baked cookies all last weekend even though I can hardly eat any. And, I have to get our Christmas Letter done today even though all of our friends are on Facebook and know what we are doing anyway. I know my DH is a little crazy when it comes to this Christmas stuff, but he is also helping me out w/a lot of other stuff so I will humor him on it.   If there is one thing I've learned on this journey is just how lucky I am to have such a supportive husband. He has juggled his schedule around many many times for my doctor appointments and he changed his time off so he will be off for a week and a half after my surgery. Last night, he could tell I was stressing out, so he did the kids' baths, homework, whole goodnight routine, and cleaned the entire kitchen like I've never seen him do before. And, I'm just so grateful because I really do need to rest up as much as I can so I'm going into this surgery as healthy as possible (not burnt out and overtired).   OK, so today is my last day of eating light (but normal). I had a chicken breast for b-fast. I know that is weird, but it is high protein and I felt like I needed something more substantial than a shake. I am gonna have more chicken and vegies for lunch and quinoa pasta w/ground turkey and spaghetti sauce for dinner w/more vegies. Tomorrow morning I can have a light b-fast (not sure what that will be yet), then doctor's orders are to have only soup for lunch, followed by bowel prep at 1pm (magnesium citrate laxative drink). This thing looks disgusting, cherry flavor, but you know it is going to be YUK!!!   After that, I can only have clear liquids until midnight and then NOTHING after midnight and my surgery is not until 2:30pm the next day. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
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The Day After...

I am happy to report that, so far, my recovery has been pretty easy. I had some back and neck pain yesterday (from the gas), but most of that is gone now after taking several walks around the bariatric unit here.   I have to say that yesterday the most annoying thing was just being hooked up to so many wires. I still have an IV, but the thing on my finger to track my oxygen and pulse is gone now, the leg pumpers are gone, the thingy w/five wires to my chest is gone, and I no longer have the BP cuff attached to my arm the whole time and going off every 5 minutes. So, I'm finally untangled enough to hook up my computer here! :tt1:   Now, my FAVORITE thing about being in the hospital has got to be being wheeled around in a bed. I don't know why, but that just makes me giggle inside.   The one thing I am kinda worried about now, though, is how I am gonna make it until Monday without eating anything. I am only allowed herbal tea, diet jello, and broth. I think I will e-mail my dietician and just check to see if anything else would be allowable if I am up for it. I have some of those protein bullet shots at home and maybe they would allow that?
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T-7 Days to Banding

Its hard to believe my banding is only one week away now. I've been working on this ALL YEAR, literally. I decided in early December last year that I was going to pursue getting WLS and after 6 months nutrition visits, two denials, two appeals, and finally one APPROVAL, I am scheduled for Lapband surgery in exactly one week, 12/17!!!   Ever since my approval, I have been feeling more optimistic about my whole life and have been making healthy changes to my lifestyle. My surgeon does not require a pre-op diet, though, so I haven't really buckled down or made any real rules for myself. The only exception being that I cut out alcohol last week. I love my wine and gin and it just doesn't seem healthy to keep that up going straight into surgery. And, this week, I want to really buckle down and be as healthy as I can without actually restricting calories or being hungry. So, I've decided on a few rules for this week. Here goes...   Diet: drink at least 8 big glasses of water per day
cut out rice, pasta, bread, and potatoes (focus on protein and non-starchy vegies instead)
replace b-fast w/a protein shake
minimize sweets (eat yogurt or jello if I want a dessert)
continue w/no alcohol
Exercise: 45 minutes/day either walking outside or on the treadmill (normally I prefer to do Jazzercise, but I'm not supposed to for at least one month after surgery so I gotta get used to walking instead)
Other: use my CPAP machine every night (I haven't been and my surgeon wants me to)
practice using the spirometer gadget they gave us in pre-op class
I think if I do all this I will be in good shape for sugery in a week. Wish me luck! :tongue2:
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Struggling w/Restriction? Grab a Cutie!

I need a fill sooooooo bad. Just ate dinner two hours ago and I am hungry again. Ugh!   But, I have discovered one food that seems to do the trick as a snack that actually makes me feel satisfied on very few calories... Cuties! You know those little clementine oranges. I think it must be all the skins/membrane because as much as I chew chew chew, it still feels kind of clumpy when I swallow. But, it doesn't get stuck... at least not for now. My next fill is on Monday and it cannot come soon enough! :blushing:
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Some things I may give up for good...

In the post-op class I took w/others that got banded by my surgeon the same week, the dietician recommended that we give up some things for just the first month after banding. And, after giving them up, I'm thinking I may just be better off without them at all:   1) Red Meat and Pork 2) Caffeine 3) Artificial Sweeteners   The funny thing is that I really missed the red meat and pork the first week because I am so used to having these options when I plan my cooking for the week. But, now, I've found all sorts of chicken and turkey products, fish, and soy products I love. And, with my high cholesterol and other health issues, am thinking maybe I am better off to just not even try to eat red meat or pork again. I think most bandsters have trouble getting them down once they have proper restriction anyway so what is the point of reintroducing these just to end up taking them away again later I figure.   Now, w/the caffeine, there have certainly been DAYS when I would have LOVED to have a cup of coffee to get me going in the morning. But, overall, it feels great to have broken this addiction. I actually crave a big glass of water in the morning now.   And, the removal of artificial sweeteners has had the most amazing effect for me. The dietician claimed that artificial sweeteners make you crave more sugar and I really didn't believe her when she said that. But, much to my amazement, she was right! I used to crave sweets all the time and now I can take 'em or leave 'em quite easily. I've been using agave nectar instead which is a natural sweetener (similar calories to sugar), but much lower on the glycemic index (so good for my prediabetes). It feels weird to add 'calories' when I know I could just throw in some splenda for 'free', but I can't argue w/the results I am enjoying. No more sugar monster!   Anyway, I'm just so surprised that I'm even considering embracing these changes long-term when I had grumbled about them in the first place.   And, I'm trying to figure out how I will handle the lamb chop dinner my mother-in-law is planning a week after my first fill. I have already told her not to worry about me when she plans meals because... (1) I really don't eat much now and (2) I can always find something that works for me out of everything she makes. It seems like everyone worries about whether their menu will agree w/me now that I have lapband and I'm the only one who is NOT worried because I know that even if there is hardly anything I can eat, I don't need much anyway.   Oh, by the way, I am down 2 more pounds as of a couple days ago. Yay!!! :thumbup:
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So excited about my new found restriction!

I know I already posted about this yesterday, but it just keeps getting better and better. Last night, I had a small bowl of chili at around 6:30pm for dinner and was not hungry at all for the rest of the night. And, I am a big big late night eater, so this is big for me. I absolutely hate going to sleep on an empty stomach, but for once, my dinner actually kept me satisfied all the way until bedtime.   This morning I ran out of time to have b-fast so I grabbed a zone bar to have in the car on the way to church and I could barely finish it! Unbelievable!!! Usually I would just eat one of those to keep my stomach from growling. I don't actually get any 'filling' sensation from them even after my first fill. But, w/this second fill, oh yeah! Woohoo!!!   I also lost another pound this morning so a total of 21 pounds since surgery on 12/17. Its so so hard for me to believe this is even real that I could lose 20+ pounds in 2 months. And, not even being perfect about it. Usually, when I had done WW, I had to be absolutely perfect to lose anything and many times it would be a half pound or less.   Now I have been contemplating my behavior w/the band and how I really have not been working it as well as I could. Specifically, I had started slacking off on exercise and letting more liquid calories (as in cocktails and wine!) slip back into my life. And, I've asked myself is this what I really want... to do the band half-assed? And, the answer is NO! Clearly, its doing its job for me and its time for me to get more serious about doing my part.   So, now I think I am ready to make some goals. A friend of mine is getting married on April 2nd and I am making it a goal to lose 15 more pounds by her wedding so I can feel cute dressed up (instead of frumpy). I am 221 right now so that would put me at 206. To achieve this, I am going to:   1) Attend Jazzercise at least 2x per week   2) Walk for 30 minutes at least 4x per week (on the days I don't do Jazzercise)   3) Limit alcohol to only 1x per week   Wish me good luck and persistence! :confused:
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Shopping in the REGULAR sizes today!

I went to Nordstrom Rack today. Honestly, I kinda hate this store. Everything is so disorganized and they don't carry any plus size even though Nordstrom does. Kinda makes you wonder where the clothes come from because if they came from Nordstrom, wouldn't they have some plus size too? :thumbup:   But, anyway, I happened to be doing some shopping nearby so thought I would stop in and look through their stuff to see if I could find some new black capri pants. The biggest size I could find there was 16 and they didn't have much. But, there was one pair of really nice looking black capris made by some designer I never heard of before. The tag said they were originally $139 :eek:, but marked down to $34. That's more like it! :tongue_smilie: Actually, a little more than I like to spend on transitional clothes, but I decided to try them on anyway.   Wow! These turned out to be the most amazing pants for a WLS patient. They fit from right above the crotch down very nicely (not tight, but not loose). Higher up, they don't really fit me. I have to suck and tuck and squeeze to get the zipper up. :thumbup: But, they are made of this really high quality stretchy material that holds my stomach in like a girdle and is actually comfy at the same time. And, they are high-waisted so no muffin top either.   When I got them home, I promptly pulled out all the smaller tops I unpacked recently that would go w/black capris and tried them all on w/my new 'girdle pants'. All of my tops cover the tight part so every outfit looked awesome. Its like I lost another 10 pounds today! :w00t:
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Second Fill Appointment Scheduled

When I got my first fill last week (1/27), I was told I could have another fill in two weeks if I still felt I was in the yellow zone (hungry between meals, eating large portions, etc.). They just told me to wait one week to see how I feel first and then I could call and schedule the next fill for the next week. Yesterday, I was crazy hungry all day... may have something to do w/starting back at Jazzercise. So, I called this morning to schedule my second fill (thinking it would probably take them at least another two weeks to get me in). Well, I was very pleasantly surprised that they can do my fill next Wednesday, 2/10 (so exactly 2 weeks after my first). Yay!!! :biggrin:   Its funny, when I tell my friends how I get stuck w/a needle and aren't supposed to eat for 72 hours after, they figure I would want to postpone as long as possible between fills. And, personally, I was a teensy weensy bit tempted to schedule this fill AFTER Valentine's Day since DH and I have reservations for a very nice dinner out. But, above anything else, I just want to get this show on the road. And, ultimately, this will be my life. I can still enjoy our V-Day dinner out, but savoring a small amount of food (maybe just getting an appetizer for my meal) rather than stuffing myself w/a 4 course meal. I am ready!!! :confused:   I've been so happy w/what the band has done for me already, but I am eager to get it working to its full potential. :drool:
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Scheduled 3rd Fill

I was so excited that I might be close to my sweet spot after my second fill (about a week and a half ago). But, over the past few days, whatever restriction I was feeling is gone again. So, I went ahead and made an appointment for my 3rd fill. Couldn't find a time that worked next week so will have to wait until the following Monday, March 1st.   Oh well, I'm just happy I'm allowed a fill every two weeks until I get to the right restriction. For those few days when I did have good restriction, it was GREAT! I'm so looking forward to getting to the point where I feel that way all the time... small meals, three meals per day, and no hunger in between.   As for the scale lately, it is just not budging. But, it is my TOM so I'm hoping this is just because of water retention and that I will get to see the scale move again in a few days.
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Scared to get on the scale...

I had a bad bad weekend. Actually, if I am to be perfectly honest, a bad five days. Everything went downhill as of last Wednesday. I've just been feeling blah and unmotivated. My friend had her bday party last night and got a private cabana, bottle service, etc. Today, DH got McD's for the kids and I had a Big Mac. I can't even remember the last time I had a Big Mac.   Oh well, I gotta pick myself back up, weigh myself tomorrow, and get back on the program. I'm so glad I have my second fill scheduled for Wednesday. I so NEED it! And, I need to do my part too, but it will certainly help when the band will say no to the Big Mac even when I say yes. LOL
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Restriction Roller-Coaster

I have just been so hungry this past week and not losing any weight. :bored: I was so sure I needed to make an appointment for another fill ASAP. But, then this morning I just got the most stuck I have ever gotten. First of all, let me back up and tell you about the most horrible recipe for any lapbander...   I've been looking for new ways to cook chicken. I'm trying to 'lean in' to the whole organic/kind eating (a la recent Oprah show). So, when I was at Costco the last time, I bought two whole organic chickens instead of the conventional parts I normally buy. I figured if I learn some new recipes for cooking the chickens whole then I will save money (whole chickens cost less than parts) and everyone in my family can be happy (DH prefers light meat and the kids and I prefer dark). First recipe tried was roasted chicken from the Barefoot Contessa's cookbook. Delicious! And, no stuck episodes. :tt2:   Second recipe was from a low-carb crockpot recipe book I took out from the library. You cook the whole bird upside down in the crockpot. Tastes OK, but this method literally boils out all the fat and juices from the meat. Last night I got a little stuck w/it. But, this morning I got stuck the worst I have ever gotten. Still, I could not PB it even though I REALLY REALLY wanted to. I finally tried the Papaya Enzyme tablets I got for just such an 'emergency'. I don't know if they helped or not, but the evil crockpot chicken did eventually pass. Suffice to say, I warn you all, do NOT crockpot a whole chicken like this. It is not 'kind' to the band! :tt1:   Please don't let this scare you away from soupy/stew type crockpot recipes, though. I have a great chicken chili recipe (uses boneless thighs) which is wonderful for the band. But, if you want to do a whole chicken, roast it in the oven like the Barefoot Contessa.   OK, so back to my 'Restriction Roller-Coaster'. I just don't know where to go from here. I was so hungry this past week that I figure I MUST need a fill, but maybe I will put it off a week just to make sure I really understand what my current restriction is first. Its hard trying to figure out what is the right level of fill when you feel like your restriction is all over the place... totally unrestricted one day and getting mega stuck the next day. I realize some of this is just the learning curve of what foods work w/the band and which ones don't. And, its really a combination of the food AND your fill level (as well as other factors like water retention). :tt2:   This band is a complicated thing really. I can understand why a lot of people get freaked out that it won't work for them or give up on it. Not saying that I'm feeling that way. I understood it would be a process to get to the right level of restriction, but I guess you can't understand just how complex it is until you actually have the band and are working with it yourself.   Just want to make it clear that I am still really really happy w/my band. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm not. Even w/the ups and downs, its still a great ride and I'm very happy w/my weightloss. :glare:
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Pants on the ground, pants on the ground...

I'm lookin like a fool with my pants on the ground! Hey, I was so excited about new found restriction after my second fill that I forgot to post about my first big NSV.   Well, I knew my jeans were getting loose, but on Sunday I realized they were getting WAY too loose as I kept having to hike them up in public (which I'm sure looks ridiculous). I gave 'em a test to see if I could pull them on and off without unbuttoning them and sure enough I could so I figured it was time to start wearing the next size smaller jeans in my closet. And, let me tell you I feel so 'skinny' in these jeans. I have been wearing them every day since Sunday and plan on wearing them again today. :thumbup:   The funny thing is that at some point, I had considered these now smaller jeans my 'fat jeans'. I remember I had gained weight and vowed not to gain anymore (yeah right!) so I only allowed myself to buy Target jeans. I mean why would I want to spend money on jeans I would only be wearing briefly? Ugh! So, now I get to wear them again. And, I have three pairs of these Target jeans (two medium wash, one dark dark wash) so how can I justify needing a different pair in this size??? I guess I better just speed through this size because I know I have at least one cute pair in the next size down. LOL Not that these are ugly, but they just aren't cute (going out) jeans.   Sometimes I think I am the weirdest fat woman because it never bothered me to buy new fat clothes. So many people say they HAVE to throw out their fat clothes so they CAN'T gain weight again. But, for me, I love buying clothes so every time I have lost OR gained, I've bought more and more and more clothes. I am really trying hard not to purchase too many new things this time as I lose through the sizes again, though. I've got so many clothes (only 1-2 years old) in every size.   I did splurge and buy two new tops from Lane Bryant online, though. They had some really pretty (dressy) tops from the Icon collection (normally $98) on clearance for $12. I ordered them on the small side so hopefully one of them will fit for my friend's wedding on 4/2. Normally I would not wear pants to a wedding, but I feel like such a cow in a dress right now. And, this is a second wedding and my friend is young and very casual. So, I'm thinking black dress pants (which I just happen to have in a smaller size right now) and one of these dressy tops might make for a pretty outfit without dropping a lot of $$$.   OK, I am getting off on a tanget now, but gotta mention one other great NSV I had on Monday. My inlaws were on their way over so I was doing my normal run-around-and-try-to-straighten-the-house-as-quickly-as-possible routine. I've got a 4 and a 6 year old so this usually involves a lot of huffing and puffing and straining to pick all their stuff up off the floor. But, you know what I noticed???? Picking stuff up off the floor is getting a lot easier. I don't feel like my head is gonna pop off anymore when I'm doing this. And, I swept all my floors in just 15 minutes and usually that takes me a lot longer. Woohoo!!! This is the everyday stuff that really matters when it comes to feeling good.
adagray

adagray

7
 

OverFilled!!!

This was my first experience w/this. I was so miserable yesterday, I did not even feel like posting about it to my blog. But, I did post on another thread so I am gonna copy those entries here:   ********************************   5/17/10: I just got another 1cc added and am up to 7.5cc in a LAP-BAND APS (10cc capacity). This is the first time after a fill that I'm experiencing water going down slowly. I can only drink one sip at a time and there is a lot of gurgling as it goes down. Does this sound alright? I'm a little concerned just because I've never been this tight before. :rolleyes2:   My doctor says only to drink clear liquids for 72 hours after a fill, though, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it for now. Maybe it will loosen up by the time I am supposed to be able to eat. For those of you who are at your sweet spot, what do you think? Is that a normal feeling for water to go down slow and gurgle???   ********************************   5/18/10: Update... I've decided to go for a slight unfill today. I have an appointment in 2 hours. Last night, I just kept getting tighter and tighter. Then, I decided to have some warm broth. Big Mistake! That made me swell almost completely shut. I had to spit out my saliva for awhile it was so bad. Then, I alternated between sipping really cold water and spitting out my saliva and that seemed to reduce the swelling enough so that I could sleep comfortably. I really did not want to have to go to the ER and end up w/a complete unfill.   Woke up this morning feeling fine, but then took two tiny sips of water and started feeling all the gurgling and discomfort again. So, I don't know if the swelling would go down in a few days, but I can't even deal w/a few days of this. Plus, I had very good restriction after my last fill and did not have trouble with fluids. So, I really don't think it would get better enough to stick w/for the long run. Anyway, I hope she can just take maybe half out and I'll be good w/that. We shall see...   ********************************   Now, I'm back from my unfill appointment and I feel sooooooo much better. It felt better as soon as she took half the fill out from yesterday (0.5cc). So, now my total fill is 7cc instead of 7.5cc. And, boy does that half cc make a huge difference! I have never been so happy just to be able to drink water freely and protein shots. Woohoo!!! :confused:
adagray

adagray

2
 

NOT HUNGRY! Woohoo!!!

Just got my 4th fill yesterday which took me to 6.5cc in a 10cc LAP-BAND. And, it was about three hours after 'lunch' (broth and a protein shot), that I realized something had definitely changed w/this fill... I was NOT HUNGRY! And, I have remained NOT HUNGRY ever since. Even though I'm only allowed liquids for 72 hours after a fill, I was NOT HUNGRY when I went to bed and NOT HUNGRY when I woke up. This is frickin amazing!!! :w00t:   Yeah, yeah, I know this is one of the main reasons I got the band. My mom has the band and said that she is just not thinking of food or looking for food much anymore. And, the people who are at goal in my support group say the same thing. One lady has to set an alarm to remember to eat. And, I've been longing for this NOT HUNGRY feeling ever since I got the band on 12/17/09. Until now, I had not felt this yet... not even right after surgery or after any of my other fills so I was worried it would never happen for me.   But, now that I've experienced it, I'm happy to say it has exceeded my expectations because its not just that I'm not hungry, but I don't even feel empty (even though I haven't eaten). I feel like you feel an hour after you ate a good meal, but all the time. Well, at least for the last day. I'm hoping this restriction sticks w/me. I'm the type who actually gets tighter a couple weeks AFTER a fill so I'm also hoping I don't end up too tight. And, I haven't eaten yet, so I have absolutely no idea how this level of restriction is gonna work w/food. I can drink about 4 oz of water at once, though, and it does go down fairly quickly, so I'm really really hoping, this is it! (or close to it)   Anyway, no matter how it works out, I now know that this NOT HUNGRY thing is possible w/me. And, I am thrilled!!!
adagray

adagray

4
 

No More New Years' Resolutions!

For once in my life, I feel a great deal of peace about everything. I was banded on 12/17 and whatever I can achieve w/this band, will be just fine. It doesn't matter how long it takes as long as I keep moving in the right direction. Hence, there is no need for New Years' Resolutions. I will continue to strive towards moderation while being kind to myself as much as possible through this journey. :wink:   One of the psychologists at my surgeon's office said that we never have to be 'dieters' again. This has been and will be one of my biggest challenges... to give up the 'dieting' and 'all or nothing' mentality that has only been a detriment to me throughout my life. One of the buzzwords I used to hate... 'lifestyle' is something I am ready to embrace now that I have this tool that makes it possible for this 'lifestyle' to not include constant hunger. :biggrin:   I have to admit that a part of me is sooooooo curious to see where I end up at the end of this year. But, I won't pressure myself to end up at any particular spot by the end of the year. I will do the best I can and my body will do what its gonna do. And, I will enjoy the journey. :biggrin:   I wish you all Peace & Happiness in this New Year. :biggrin:
adagray

adagray

2
 

Need a fill so bad!!!

I really sympathize w/all of you who have to wait a month between fills now. My doctor allows fills every 2 weeks if you feel like you need one. But, I made the mistake of waiting before making my next appointment and this time they had no appointments available when I felt like I needed one. So, the soonest I could get in is four weeks after my last fill. And, I just feel like I have almost no restriction at all right now. AND, I still have to wait ONE MORE WEEK! ACK!!! :waytogo:   Even worse, I am not losing any weight. I am being very good about my exercise so really hoping that this means I've at least gained some muscle and lost some body fat (even if the scale isn't moving down). Of course, I won't know that until I get on the doctor's scale (that breaks it all out) so for now I am just bummed that the scale is not going down. :eek:   I don't want this post to be totally negative, though, so let me share at least one positive thing that has happened for me this past week and that is that I now fit into some even smaller jeans. The smaller jeans I was excited to fit into a month ago are now loose and some that I could not even pull up on me before, I can wear comfortably. Woohoo!!! :mad:
adagray

adagray

2
 

My last meal...

Surgery day is tomorrow. I know I'm not gonna get much sympathy from you all cause I know most of you had to do a pre-op liquid diet. But, for me, this morning was my last meal. I had hard boiled eggs and polenta... trying to stick w/the surgeon's recommendation on what a 'light breakfast is'. My paperwork said eggs and toast, but I have an intolerance to gluten so bread does not agree w/me. So, I ate some leftover polenta (cornmeal mush type thing) I had made for dinner the other night. Its hard to eat 'light' when you know you are not eating again for 5 days! Ack!!!   For lunch, I am only supposed to have soup, then I do the bowel prep (magnesium citrate) at 1pm. I am soooooooo not looking forward to that. I am NOT constipated ever so this stuff is probably gonna give me terrible diarreah. Sorry, TMI! :confused:   Anyway, I am excited to get on w/this. Its been a long time coming. It took me the whole year to get all the stuff done required by my insurance and then I was denied twice and was finally approved on my second appeal. I am sooooooo ready to get this done now. I've mostly just been paranoid for the last two weeks that I would get sick and that would delay my surgery once again. Yesterday I had a scare because I thought I was getting a sore throat, but it turned out to be just an inflamed tastebud on the back of my tongue. I was inspecting and poking my tongue and finally figured it out. And, today it is gone since I stopped gargling w/salt water.
adagray

adagray

9
 

Letter to My Mom

My mom just joined lapbandtalk.com. She is 'Kakaako Joan' and got the lapband two years ago and has lost over 100 pounds. We actually have the same 'bandiversary' (12/17), but mine is just two years later. And, that was all just a crazy coincidence because I certainly did not choose my surgery date. I had to go through two appeals w/Aetna and when I was finally approved, I hounded my surgeon's office until they would give me a date. :thumbup:   Anyway, I was writing my mom an e-mail tonight and realized that I should've just posted this all to my blog here so I could update you all who I am sure are all on the edge of your seats waiting for an update. So, here it is...   My weightloss has slowed down. I'm holding steady at 11 pounds lost right now (18 if you count what I lost from my highest weight), but if that's all I lose until my fill, I am happy w/that. Its more than I could lose doing anything else for one month.   I have no restriction at all now that the swelling has gone down. I get my first fill on 1/22. In the meantime, I'm just following the band rules as best I can, trying to stick to only three meals a day, no desserts, very limited starch, lots of protein, and walking on the treadmill 30 minutes/day. But, its kinda like being on WW right now cause I'm hungry in between meals. I just try to distract myself or eat protein for a snack if I get really hungry. Can't wait to get a fill and get this band working for me!   I am very happy that I've healed up so well now, though. I feel like I could do Jazzercise already, but will wait to get the OK from my doctor at my next appointment since they said absolutely nothing but walking for the first month. My stomach muscles are all healed, though. No pain and I can even sleep on my port side.
adagray

adagray

3
 

Lesson Learned... Skipping Lunch = Late Night Eating

One habit I've been so proud to break is the awful late night eating I used to do. I would affectionately call it my 'Fourth Meal' (like those taco bell commercials). Usually my 'Fourth Meal' was the biggest meal of my day. Actually, not really a meal at all, but endless grazing that would go on from the time my kids went to bed to when I went to bed... usually based on a little bit of hunger mixed with a whole lot of 'I deserve it'.   Well, since the band and all the pre and post-op education I received on 'head hunger', I've pretty much eliminated that 'Fourth Meal'. I think the band has genuinely made me feel satiated for longer, but also I am being a lot more mindful of trying to break this habit.   What I learned today, though, is that a skipped meal will always catch up w/me. I remember Dr. Oz talking about how eating breakfast is so important otherwise you are trying to catch up to your hunger all day. And, I'm good about eating breakfast. I can't remember the last time I missed breakfast. But, today I slept in and had a late breakfast and by the time I was thinking about lunch, it was only two more hours until dinner. So, I forced myself to make do w/just a yogurt until dinner (figuring I might save some calories today).   Boy was I wrong about that! After my dinner of grilled salmon and asparagus, I just could not shut off my hunger. A couple hours later, I grabbed a few rice chex figuring maybe my body was craving carbs. I try to keep the carbs low, but sometimes its the only way to quiet my hunger. The rice chex did NOTHING for me. So, I had a big bowl of strawberries... still hungry. OK, so I had a big bowl of more grilled asparagus leftover from dinner (figuring that would make me feel 'full')... no way! Time to bring out the big guns... Protein. So, I reheated a piece of leftover salmon. But, even the salmon does not satiate me. At this point I am feeling like the Very Hungry Caterpillar... STILL HUNGRY!!! One half bag* of Peanut M&Ms later... SO SATISFIED!!!   The moral of this story... don't skip meals! They catch up with you!!!   AND, I can't wait for my first fill on Friday. I can eat A LOT of food right now! :confused:   * Just want to clarify that was 1/2 of a normal size bag of M&Ms (like the kind you get in the checkout line at the grocery store)... not the jumbo fill your candy dish type bag. Don't want to make myself sound worse than I am. :wink2:
adagray

adagray

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