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A blog by trina4ufl

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First Goal--Done!

Well, I've been going to the gym and eating well and I'm down to 267 on my home scale!!! I've met my first goal!!! YAY!!! Now we'll just see how I weigh tomorrow at the doctor's office. It's usually a few pounds lower than my home scale, but we'll see. I think I've only lost about 8 pounds this month, maybe more, maybe less. I know I should be grateful since I lost over 18 pounds last month, but I'm so impatient! One thing though is I really don't have any clothes that filt me well. All my pants hang off my butt now. Even the ones I just bought last month. My friend who doesn't know I had the band told me last night that now that I'm losing weight you can really tell that i'd look much better with a breast reduction. I was mildly insulted by that, but I'm not sure why since I've told her that I wanted one. I guess it's just because I feel like the timing isn't right because I want to wait until I lose more so I don't "undo" it by losing alot more weight. I also want to see how I look because I really don't want to cut up my boobs for no reason. They are hanging too low though And they are still really big, though they have gotten alot smaller as well. They are just big proportionately. Though I think it would be cool to be skinny with big boobs. But not big boobs that hang to my knees! On the other hand, I know my insurance company would pay for a breast reduction now. I've read the policy and it says you have to have a certain amount taken out and I don't want to miss my window for them to pay for it, because they lift them too. I'm just scared of losing sensation and I've seen "after" pictures and I don't like most of them. I like the shape of my boobs, I just wish they were higher and of course smaller. I also hear that plastics is pretty painful and I'd have to take more time off work.. and have some explanation to the boyfriend and since it's a new relationship I have no idea how he would react to that..Well I have time to think about it. Any input would be great! I'm going to ask my doctor at my appointment tomorrow what he thinks and if he thinks I might have a leak and then ask for another fill. My next goal is to be below 250. Now that I'm eating healthy and exercising, I'm feeling better too. It's amazing how you just get back in the habit and it becomes much easier. But it's also easy to get in the habit of eating alot of carbs and fat and not working out! It'll be a challenge to stay motivated but I'm optimistic about it.:biggrin:

March 31, 2009

3

The scoop on my date tonight..

We ended up meeting at the sushi place right near my house which is the best sushi in town and actually a really nice restaurant. It ended up being really good. He's kind of dorky--skinny, glasses, but I definitely find him cute. He's at least as tall as I am, brown hair, almost a little red, kind of pale skin like I have. Goatee/mustache/beard just around the jawline cut neatly. He wore khakis and a collared shirt and he was friendly and funny and we had a good time. He of course paid for dinner. We talked the whole time and it seems like we have alot in common. He kind of went through the wild stage like I did when I was younger, but now is responsible but still likes to do fun things, etc. Most of his friends have moved out of town and most of them are married now. He said he wants to get married someday. He's not sure if he wants kids. He's working at a job because he can't make as much working with the degree he has (like me!). He really likes animals like I do. He's extremely open to the point that he even tells things that make him look bad. He said he loved my hair and wanted to touch it but he was controlling himself. lol He said that he told his coworkers he was going on a date tonight and they told him good, he needed to have a girlfriend..lol. He goes target shooting, rafting down the river, watches movies, drinks, but not not all that often, he's close to his family and has a large family like me. He liked my car alot and said next time we should go in my car because it's so cool, which I'm all for...He mentioned some sexual type stuff in passing conversation, but was not sexual towards me, I think he just wanted to keep himself out of the "friends zone". He's very talkative and considerate unlike a lot of guys. He hasn't been dating since his last girlfriend 2 years ago. His relationships usually last four years. He doesn't come out and say it, but it was clear from the things he said that he wants a serious girlfriend. Mentioned possibly doing something on sunday, though we did not set plans yet. I gave him a hug when I was ready to leave. He didn't want me to leave, and kept talking to me when I was getting in my car. He had a big smile on his face. I'm pretty sure he likes me, though I'm not 100% sure, and I definitely like him enough to go on another date with him. Overall, he's smart, funny, considerate, and we have similar values and we are about the same age. So far, so good!:w00t:

February 12, 2009

5

Background

Okay, here's some background on me. I'm a 29 year old single female. I've been overweight since I was about 10. I've had success with diets off and on through high school and college, but would keep gaining after I lost. I get sidetracked by life and it takes a lot of attention for me to lose weight or even maintain it. I have to go to the gym, eat much less than I want, and pick healthy foods. Sounds doable right? Well, after going to my sister's wedding and seeing most of my relatives who have lost the battle of the bulge, I finally realized that the odds were not stacked in my favor. I consider myself successful--I graduated college and obtained my master's degree while working full time. I have a good career and good friends. However, I just can't seem to succeed at losing weight. It has now gotten to the point where it will negatively impact my health and has definitely hurt my otherwise healthy self-esteem. I'm not dating anyone because I look in the mirror and I can't imagine anyone wanting to be with me. I've dated in the past quite a bit and been fine, but I guess now it has really hit me how overweight I've become. I feel sluggish and my feet hurt and I'm tired all the time. I want to have energy and enjoy life. I want to get dressed up and go out and feel sexy! But most of all, I don't want to look back at my life and feel that I wasted my youth being held back by the 100 and more extra pounds I'm carrying around! So, This is it. I'm hoping it will be! I'm an optimist by nature, so I am hoping and thinking that this will work, not by itself, but though hard work as well. I think that is what makes the lap band appeal to me. It won't work unless I work as well. I don't think I'd appreciate it as much if I didn't have to work for it. So, here I go! I'm scared that I will fail. I'm scared that something will go wrong and I will die. I'm scared that I won't be able to eat and I'll be miserable. But I won't let my fear hold me back. Because, most of all, I"m scared that I will do nothing and doing something to me is always better than doing nothing about a problem. I want to be that success story. I want to inspire others like many have inspired me. Let the journey begin...December 1st here I come!

November 15, 2008

5

Down another 7

I decided to only weigh myself once a week on Tuesdays because that is when my doctor's appointments usually are. This morning, I weighed myself and I am down 7 pounds from last Tuesday!!!!!!! I am really excited about that because I have lost 7 pounds in a week before when I started weight watchers, etc, but never that rate of weight loss after I'd already lost almost 30 pounds. If I didn't have the band, the best I could expect would be 1-2 pounds per week, maybe four if I was really diligent. My clothes are much looser and I feel good. I should start looking decent (in m own mind at least) when I'm down to 260, so that's my short term goal right now. I want to accomplish that before my 30th birthday on March 22nd. When I reach that goal, I should be wearing all of my smallest sizes that I currently own (except for the one or two pieces I couldn't let go from high school). I should also be at a good fitness level where I can do pretty much anything without getting tired and even jog for periods of time (though my big breasts make that difficult!). I can't even visualize myself as smaller than that right now and the last time I was at that weight, I was not physcially in shape like I will be working out regularly. I can't wait! The only thing not going that great is that I'm so tired when I wake up in the mornings. It seems like I can't get to sleep until midnight or later and then I am miserable, tired, grouchy in the AM. As the day goes by, my energy levels kick up and I'm fine, but the mornings are hell! Especially since it was freezing cold and raining this morning. It's going to be in the 30s at night all week :thumbup: So much for sunny FL weather..The high tomorrow is in the 50s and I do not have enough warm weather clothes. After getting rid of all the clothes that I don't like and that are too big, I still have lots of clothes, but very few warm clothes. It just doesn't get that cold in FL that often. Everyone has been complimenting everyone else on how they look like they've lost weight and no has said that to me. My two coworkers who know about the band have told me that, but no one else. Which is cool because I don't want the questions that go along with it, but either, they can't tell or they don't want to say anything because they suspect WLS. It's not a big deal, just sometimes funny when I hear, Oh so and so you really look like you've lost weight, and they say, oh yeah, I've been going to the gym, and then I'm standing there, 30+++ pounds down saying, oh yeah, you look great... I wore a pair of cobalt blue slacks that were really tight on me and almost couldn't button two months ago and now they are literally sagging to the floor on me. They really sag in the butt, which is not attractive, but I'm running out of clothing options. Well, at least if there are rumors going on about me, I haven't heard them, so I can pretend they don't exist!

January 19, 2009

6

Down another 11

I went to my follow up doctor's appointment today. It's been two months since my last visit, and I've lost a little over 11 pounds since then. I currently weigh 235, so I've lost 95 pounds total in about 81/2 months. My doctor says I'm doing awesome. I did end up getting a fill because I've been hungry in between meals the last couple of weeks and sometimes I can eat way too much food. He only put .5 of a cc in, and it feels pretty tight. I'm hoping I can still eat most of the good protein and most food, but that I'm not as hungry and that I can't eat as much of it. It feels like my weight loss is slowing down, but the doc says I'm right on track. I have been feeling sluggish some days, so he ordered a blood test to check my B12 and iron levels. I did have issues with anemia when I was younger, so I want to make sure that I'm not lacking iron now, which would make me sluggish. All in all, I'm pretty excited and I know I could never have gotten here without the band and of course, my awesome surgeon who gives me great support. I'm scheduled for another visit in four weeks. I met with the nutritionist and she suggested making sure I eat something for breakfast every day, even if it's just protein powder in my coffee and doing free weights instead of the machines at the gym. She said that it will work better because it uses your stabilization muscles. She said only beginners should do the circuit lines and I've been doing them for 8 months, so it's time to move on to something new. My mood is great and I'm excited that I'm still losing consistently. Yay!!!!

August 11, 2009

5

asked out for a 2nd date!!

The guy I went on a date with this week wants to go out again on Monday night. He wants to see me sooner, but due to his and my schedule, that was the first day we both had available. He originally suggested going skating (roller) but I told him I thought we should get to know each other better before he sees me fall on my ass! We ended up agreeing to go out and shoot pool--which I'm pretty good at. I've been talking to him online through instant messenger and the more we talk, the more we realize how much we have in common. He even dropped hints that he wants to kiss me! I'm taking it slow and seeing if we get along as friends first, but I have to say I haven't connected with someone so soon..umm,..ever!

February 14, 2009

4

A okay--day 3

:thumbup:Okay, first of all, thanks to everyone who has been so supportive! I really appreciate it and really feel close to you guys now. You're the best!! I have no hunger (which I know is only temporary) so it has been no problem sticking to my liquid diet. I actually went with my mom and went shopping. I got tired and run down and had to go and sit n the car, but I think that was more dehydration and lack of calories. I've moved to the full liquid stage this afternoon and oatmeal and milk went down fine. I can't feel anything weird when I eat and I can't really feel the port. I do have about five incisions. I'm not sure why so many, but they are slowly healing. I can sleep fine. It hurts when I turn over, but I can sleep on either side once I get there or on my back comfortably. I actually feel pretty normal, other than I feel a little weak due to lack of calories. I'm trying not to obsess over the scale, but I am down 15 pounds since I started the pre-op diet and I can tell I'm still swollen and I haven't had a BM yet. I think the loratab makes you constipated. I'm weanin myself off of it and onto liquid tylenol. Now I have to eat/drink every hour that I'm awake. This is the recommended schedule until Tuesday. 8am-soupy cereal (milked down oatmeal, no clumps) 9am-water 10am-juice 11am-strained cream soup 12pm-jello 1pm-water or non caloric beverage, coffee is okay 2pm- nonfat milk 3pm broth 4pm milked down cream of wheat 5pm-water 6pm-strained cream soup 7pm-juice 8pm-jello sugar free pudding 9pm-nonfat milk. To be honest, I haven't been keeping up with it because it seems like a lot. I'm trying to get better though and everything is going down fine. My biggest issue right now is that they have not called in a liquid form of wellbutrin and crushed pills is disgusting. I'm going to call them again tomorrow.....

December 4, 2008

3

Down 7

I'm down 7 pounds since surgery and 21 pounds since I started the pre-op diet. I don't know if this is a fluke and I'm going to gain it all back when I get off liquids, but I'm loving this thing so far. I'm six days post-op and feel great!:thumbup:

December 6, 2008

4

nothing new...

Sadly, I don't have anything new to report. I've been working, going to the gym, spending time with friends and the boyfriend. I guess no news is good news? I'm up and down the same five pounds since the fill. I feel restriction because I can't eat several different things--bread, steak, anything big, but for some reason I've been hungry alot. I have to "diet" to lose weight, and then if I have a bad day of eating, the scale jumps back up. I think my body likes the 260s for some reason. And I am so looking forward to the 250s... I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, so I'm sure that's not helping. My goals for the next week is to keep working out, eat out less, and get 8 hours of sleep! In good news, people keep commenting how "skinny" I look (relative term to what I was before, I will never be "skinny'!) In bad news, I was really tired the other night and slipped and fell in the shower and busted my face. I hit my chin mostly, and it cut and bled and I have a huge purple, black, and yellow bruise. I look like I was in a fist fight. My knees and elbows are bruised and I also have a knot on my head. No fun! It could have been much worse though. My face hit the ceramic pretty hard. I thought I broke my jaw, but no, I'm actually okay, I just look bad. Work has been brutal. I have a couple days off next week and I'm really looking forward to it. Tomorrow is Friday!!!

April 18, 2009

3

Hurray for 239!

I've been at 239 for the past two days. I'm really excited about being under 240. I don't even remember being in the 230's, that's how long ago it was. I was 240 after I dieted in college. I might have been around there when I started college. Everyone has been telling me how thin I look (It's relative, but still, I'll take it!) I'm in a good groove right now. My restriction has actually loosened up, but for me, that's actually been a good thing. I realize that when I'm too tight, I feel like I'm malnourished or that I need to be eating but I can't and it makes me eat crappy food. Right now, I can eat, but I'm not hungry alot and I get full quickly. I've been eating healthy and going to the gym. It's going great! I found out that the job I'm applying for is between me and one other person. Now I've decided that I really want the job, so wish me luck! I should now something in about a week or two. It will mean more income and if I leave my current job, I'll get my leave paid out, so I'll finally be able to pay off all my hospital and doctor bills. My boyfriend and I are getting along well and I'm looking forward to spending time with him this weekend. He usually works all weekend, but he has Saturday off, so we're going to a friend's cookout and doing some other fun stuff. I can't wait!:cursing:

July 23, 2009

3

back to basics

So since my great doctor's appointment I've had really good restriction. I'm not hungry very often and when I do eat, if I don't chew well and eat small bites, I get a very painful feeling in my chest. I thought I was going to have to throw up a deli sliced piece of turkey for lunch on Monday. I waited it out and it went down. I lost another 3-4 pounds after the fill, and then after a weekend of eating some lemon bars that I made for my boyfriend (bad idea to have some left over) and drinking three marguaritas Sat night and 1 big alcoholic drink on Sunday, I was up the 3-4 pounds again. :thumbup: I cracked down this week and am now eating like I do when I'm serious about losing and that is coffee, yogurt, cottage cheese and a healthy dinner. Last night I had broiled fish (orange roughy) and broccoli. I've been to the gym every day so far this week and am actually headed there now. I'm down 2 of the 4 I gained back. It's scary that I can gain weight so easily. I know that my weight fluctuates with water and throughout the day so I try not to be too hard on myself, but I can't let myself get off track. I think some of it may be due to only eating liquids right after a fill and then switching to solid foods. I'm staying at 1200 calories a day, so I should continue to go down if my metabolism functions like it should. It's so easy to get addicted to sweets, so I'm outlawing them again for awhile. I really have been having trouble eating a lot of different foods, but I need to just remember to eat slow slow slow. I'm going to church with my bf on Sunday and then we're going to sunday brunch, so I'll need to really be careful about eating slowly. I've been obsessing about how bad my boobs look and I'm getting saggy skin fears. I know I'm happy about the weight I've lost and sometimes I feel that I look really good and then other times I'll catch myself in the mirror and get horrified. I know I need to concentrate on losing and working out and see what happens, but my arms look really bad. They just hang. It's not all skin, there's a lot of fat still in them, but wow they look bad. If the excess skin was gone, they would be pretty small and toned right now. Oh well, I guess you're supposed to wait until you're at goal for year to give your skin time to shrink back, so we'll see. I'm just impatient and want to look good now! Here's a new pic I just took.

April 9, 2009

1

Back to Basics

Okay, so now my focus is back on my weight loss, full throttle. I've been losing consistently, but I think I can do better. 10 pounds a month is okay, but I'd like to jump start it. I know what I need to do. Some days I am the paragon of virtue--Lots of protein, low carbs, low fat. I get off the wagon most on days when i don't work. Structure seems to work well for me. I am so good on work days. Now it's just a matter of getting used to eating like that every day. My short term goal is to eat healthy with no fatty food etc for 6 days out of the week. I'm already doing great on my portion sizes--which in the past were my biggest problem. I've been good with the gym, but I'm going to do better. I can step it up a notch. My goal is to lose 15 pounds this month. Wish me luck! oh and by the way, the guy I was dating sent me an email stating he was confused and not sure what he wanted. I replied that I think it would be better if we were just friends. He has been calling and emailing me like mad ever since saying he wants to see me but I haven't replied. Why is it that guys only want you when you don't want them? Sheesh, I'm not losing any sleep over this one...

February 22, 2009

1

plastics recovery

So plastics recovery is going well. My weight went up about 8 pounds but then went down 10 in one week. I think I was having major swelling. I went to the lap band doc and got a fill and am now super tight. I weighed myself and I am at 197.6. Onederland!!!!!! First time since I was a teenager. My stomach is looking much better. It's lumpy when I sit down, but looks good standing up. My breasts look awesome. They are still healing though and I can't wear any underwire bras for another month. It's really hard to find bras with no underwire. I'm pretty happy with how I look when I'm in clothes right now. I have alot more confidence and when people see me, they say WOW you look awesome! I am now in a large size in tops or shirts and still a 14 in pants. I'm not sure if that will change when the swelling goes down all the way or not. I am 5'9"/5'10" so that's not bad for my height. I would need to lose another 20 pounds to reach my overall goal. I've started back at the gym but taking is slowly due to the swelling I've had and the belly button issues. I go back to work next week :scared2: I've really enjoyed the time off. Things are going well though. I'm really happy about the results of my surgery!

November 12, 2010

0

Weigh Day

Today is officially weigh day and I am down 6 pounds from last tuesday when I had my fill. Yeah! 286 on the scale today! Oh and I'm wearing all my smaller clothes. If I lose much more, I will be completely out of clothes that fit well. :w00t:

February 10, 2009

3

life as usual

Well, I've been doing great since my fill. I think I've lost another 5-6 pounds, though I'm not supposed to be weighing myself every day. Weigh day is Tuesday (mental note to myself). Work is insanely busy, I'm supposed to help my sister with this research paper, I go to the gym every day after work, and to top it all off, I have a date on Wed. with a guy that I talked to for 2 hours on the phone today. I'm so busy it's beginning to seem a bit chaotic, but at least I don't have time to eat out of boredom! The bad new is that it's almost midnight and I have to go to work tomorrow! I also haven't had time to eat anything other than protein shake before I went to Zumba at the gym today and a piece of Minibel light cheese. I'm looking in my fridge/pantry and so do not have the time to cook anything. Eating healthy is hard work! I need to go the grocery store and stock up on more healthy food. I literally don't have anything to eat in the house. I need to get 8 hours of sleep a night or I don't feel rested and am more likely to get sick again. This cold/flu bug seems to be everywhere and I don't have time to be sick. I do have next Friday/Monday off work and I was thinking about going out of town, but now just a few days of relaxation is seeming better to me right now. I would also save money by staying in town and finances are still tight as I'm still paying off my hospital bills and the surgeon's office has not refunded me the $500 that they owe me...SO..I guess I'll decide later in the week. Oh and my internet connection sucks at home. I think I may need a new router. Something else I don't have time to shop for... For now, super super busy...

February 9, 2009

2

Tuesday Weigh day

I lost 5 pounds this week!!! I'm going to try for another 5 this next week. I'm at 278 as of this morning. I'm trying to get under 270 by my birthday on March 22nd. That's the lowest weight I've been in several years. I'm wearing my smallest clothes that I own. Everything is going to be baggy from here on out unless I bite the bullet and buy more clothes. 5 pounds makes me feel really good. I feel like i'm making major progress. I can also feel the muscles in my butt from working out at the gym! I can't wait to see how I look when Iose another 20 pounds or so...

February 25, 2009

1

Dumped?

I'm trying not to overreaact, but I think I may have been dumped. Things were going great with the new guy and then suddenly he's been MIA for the past two days. I've been super busy so I didn't really notice, but I posted a note to him on Facebook and I'm pretty sure he deleted it. I swear I am cursed when it comes to luck with dating. It's only been a week or so, so I'm not really emotionally involved, but I did like him. He mentioned some ex girlfriend who lives out of town who had been contacting him trying to get back together with him. Maybe he took her up on her offer and didn't send me the memo? Or maybe he's just busy and accidentally deleted my comment? Who knows? I know I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't sleep with him or have drama or anything consequential enough to warrant a sudden change in attiude. He seemed really sincere, but maybe he was just trying to get laid and since I didn't accommodate, he moved on. I'm pretty much ready to give up on dating, period. The worst possible thing to me is dishonesty and every guy I seem to go out with turns out to be shady. I try not to sound jaded, but if I gave you a synopsis of all the guys I've dated, they have one common thread. And lately, my relationships seem to be getting shorter and shorter. This one barely lasted a week! I know I did get a little too caught up in the possibilities since he seemed really genuine and sensitive, etc. He was the one who kept talking about how he wanted to get married some day (not necessarily to me, just in general! ) Whatever it is, I really need to concentrate on me first. This was a wake up call no matter what the situation with him is. My focus needs to be on me and my weight loss, health and fitness. It just gets lonely since I live alone and alot of my friends live out of town. I guess I was hoping this was the start of something really great. I'm not going to let it get me down though. Everything else in my life is going really well.

February 21, 2009

4

Only 1 drain left

I had a follow up appt. today at the plastic surgeon's office and one of the drains on my hips came out. They think the other one can come out on Monday. It's still outputting quite a bit of fluid. It has to be below 30 ccs output in a 24 hour period before it can come out. I am ready for it to be gone but I understand that it greatly reduces the amount of painful swelling. My left side has been hurting and I'm not really sure why. My new belly button was leaking some fluid and the Dr.'s office thinks that some of the fluid from the belly button may be going to my left side. They stated everything looks really good though and that i shouldn't be worried. I no longer have to put bandages on my incisions. I can just wear the surgical bra and the compression garmet. After 2 weeks, which is Tuesday, I only have to wear the compression garmet during the day, not at night. I have to wear the bra 24/7 for 6 weeks total. My breasts are starting to look really good and the Nurse Practitioner mentioned how they seem much rounder and I agree. My stomach is also starting to look flatter. I asked her if it was going to be totally tight and flat and she said that they pulled it tight and flat during the surgery, but that because of the swelling, it is lumpy and swollen. She said that it will get flatter and tighter, but that because the skin has been stretched from gaining and losing alot of weight that it loses the elasticity so it may not be as tight as it was in the surgery. I'm hoping that wearing these compression garmets will help it get tighter. I don't know if I mentioned this before but originally the surgeon said that he'd have to do free nippple grafts for my breast reduction because of the length of my breasts. In this scenario I would definitely lose all sensation in my breasts. I wasn't happy with this so he said that he would try to do the normal way which is moving the entire nipple and the attachments, but that he may have to switch mid surgery if the tissue wasn't getting blood supply. Well, he was able to do the normal one and I have full sensation in my nipples! This is a big deal for me and I am super happy about it. I definitely credit his surgical skills because I read alot about how if your nipples are a certain length from where they need to go that they have to do the free nipple graft--which is taking them off completely and reposiitioning them which guarantees a complete loss of sensation in the nipple and they will not get erect and you cannot breast feed. But, yay, that is not the case for me! He had also talked about the possibility of having to do a vertical incision to get the stomach tight which would have meant a long vertical scar. However, he did not have to do this either, so everything went really well. I'm feeling better every day and the office staff was so nice. They said I am a very easy patient. I'm super excited because I wore a shirt tonight that I have saved since I was 15 years old (I'm 31 now). It has been too small since I was 15, but it was my favorite shirt ever. I tried it on tonight and it fits perfectly!!!:thumbup:

October 15, 2010

0

Down another 8

I went to the doctor for a follow up appointment and I'm down another 8 pounds. I weigh 246 now. I feel pretty good about how I'm starting to look except for my stomach. If I wear pants that fit, they push my spare tire up. I'm still carrying way too much weight in my stomach and chest, but I'm hoping after another 50 pounds or so, it'll flatten. The doctor said I'm either too tight or just right. He gave me the option of having some taken out, but I opted to try to work with this fill. I can't eat much at all during the day--some yogurt and coffee, and then dinner is hit or miss. If I have hot soup first, I'm usually good. He said that I can call him anytime if I feel I want to have some taken out, and scheduled my next appointment for 8 weeks since he says I'm doing great and don't need to come every month. I do need to work on the protein. I haven't been getting enough in. My hair loss has slowed, but my hair is all kind of broken and uggh. I bought 2 new pairs of jeans and 2 shirts. All in size 18 (still plus size). I feel better because I feel like a slob wearing all my old clothes because they are really baggy and don't look good. I'm feeling much better. Things with my boyfriend are going really well and I'm looking forward to having the whole week off work next week. Yay!!!

June 4, 2009

1

Minor episode

I need to post new pics, though I guess I haven't because the weight loss has been pretty slow. I didn't lose anything for awhile and one week I gained back the weight I had lost the week before, but now I'm at 237 which I'm still pretty happy about because at least it's going in the right direction. I know I could be doing better. I've been eating small portions, but "regular" food instead of "diet" food. I just got really sick of yogurt and cottage cheese. Plus I think I was too tight for awhile and that made me eat whatever I could get down. I did have an "epidsode" today though. I've been able to eat pretty well, small portions but most foods. I've eaten steak several times but only a little bit. Well today, I was out of town for the day with my boyfriend and we didn't get a chance to eat so I was super super hungry by 6pm. I met up with my friends who don't know about my WLS and ordered a ribeye. I ate it way too fast and had to throw up. The worst part was that I thought I was going to throw up right at the table. I ran to the bathroom, but it was really crowded and no one likes hearing someone puke in a restaurant, so I went outside. It was really crowded out there too with people walking around, parking, etc. I just kept hoping it would go down, but no dice. I finally puked by my car. I still felt like I needed to puke more so I paid my tab and told my friends I got suddenly sick. They were really concerned and worried. Then I had to puke again by my car. I got home, barely, and puked a little more and then laid down and was okay. Stupid of me to eat steak fast. I was actually considering getting another fill on the 11th but now I know I should not. I just need to be patient and eat healthier. I'm just impatient because it's not falling off the way it was at first. However, I know that the slow weight loss is better for the skin situation. Other than that, things are going well. I have a couple of days off work so I'm enjoying them. I'll get the official weight loss at the doctor's appointment on Aug. 11th. I'm going to keep hitting the gym and crack down on the food choices until then and hope for a good weight loss.

August 3, 2009

1

too tight?

Sorry I haven't posted lately, but there's a bunch of drama going on at work. It's got me pretty stressed out. I was doing great after the fill, but now I'm thinking I may be too tight. I can drink liquids fine, but if I try to eat anything, it hurts. I try to eat yogurt for breakfast and I can't finish it because it hurts to eat it. Later in the day it was better, but the past few days, I can't seem to eat anything. I ordered a salad tuesday night and could only eat 2 bites. It hurt and I couldn't eat anymore. I don't lose weight well when I can't eat anything either. My body holds onto the calories I do eat and then when I can eat something, I'll gain. I want to see if I can lose some weight this week and if it'll loosen up, as it usually does as the month goes on, but if I'm still this tight on Monday, I'm going to see about a slight unfill. At least being this tight I won't be tempted to eat too much this weekend. I'm visiting my parents. I've tried to eat most of the food that is usually okay, and it all hurts. I couldn't even eat soup the other night. This is teaching me to eat MUCH slower though. I can nibble if I go extremely slow. It still hurts, but at least I've been able to get some protein down. I don't have acid reflux and don't feel any other side effects. It just hurts when I eat. Weird. Other than that, everything's going great. Well, work sucks. They are giving us a 2% pay cut due to the budget. :thumbup: But the boyfriend is being awesome and I'm very happy with the relationship. I've met his friends now and I think they like me. Our sleep/work schedules are out of synch, so we don't get to spend as much time together as we'd both like, but he is definitely making a big effort to see me more. I'm looking forward to the weekend. It'll be good to see my parents. I'm just dreaming about solid food!!!

May 7, 2009

1

Full Speed Ahead!

So right now I'm in a good place. I'm eating between 700-1100 calories a day. I find myself forgetting to eat and then picking foods that have a high protein content so I meet my daily protein requirements. I also am consistently working out. I did cardio and strength training yesterday (sat) and today I did a Zumba class at the gym with my coworker. The Zumba class is a latin dance class. I find it hard to master dance steps and I don't remember them, but I feel like if I keep going to that class, I will start to be able to keep up with the moves. I didn't feel like I was going to die, like I have when I've gone to aerobic classes in the past. I did sweat and was able to complete the full hour, though my intensity wasn't as high as the others who knew the steps, because I found myself getting lost and having to watch other people to try and learn the moves. There were about 200 other people in the room, so it was pretty crowded. I want to find the same class at a time/place where it is less crowded. The gym I go to has three locations I can choose from, so I'm going to scout out the best time/place. I don't feel sore, but I'll know in a day or two if it's a good workout because by then I should be sore in some of my muscles that I don't use all the time if it's worthwhile. I also want to try some other classes. I like dancing, even though I'm obviously not good at it! Also, I've pretty much given up any sweets at all. I'll sometimes eat a weight watchers cookie or snack, but for the most part, I'm totally off sweets. I find that if I eat them, I want them, but if I avoid them, I don't crave them. I appear to be lucky because I have had no instances of vomiting, PBing or sliming. I've tried out different food and had no problems with anything. I do try to eat a very small amount and if it feels funny, I don't eat it anymore. I also stop eating before I'm full and then I'm not hungry for a long time. I don't drink during or after my meals, though I do drink before and have no issues with it. I don't eat as slow as I should, but I try to chew really well. I'm sure my good behavior won' t last forever, but I'm going to ride it out as long as I can I actually forgot to eat today so I had a protein drink when I got home from the gym. My friend made this awesome chicken noodle soup that i ate the other night and I lost weight the day after I ate it (I know it doesn't necessarily work that way, but..) So now I'm planning on making it tonight. It should last all week. It tastes awesome and makes me feel full for a long time. It also has a lot of protein, not many carbs, and not too much fat. The recipe calls for whole wheat rotini pasta instead of noodles, and there isn't that much pasta in it. The flavor comes from all the veggies in it, the seasonings, and of course the chicken. I plugged all of the ingredients into sparkpeople and came up with 334 calories per serving (decent size serving). It seems like I haven't been getting in enough veggies, so I'm hoping this will help. Also,I find myself at a loss about what I want to eat for dinner most nights. Has anyone found that eating too few calories has affected them negatively? Some days, I just don't eat much at all. I have had plenty of energy, so I feel that I'm doing okay, but my nutritionist scared me by saying you could reset your calorie clock and make your body need less calories if you regularly consumed less than 1000 calories, but I'm finding I'm losing more weight the less calories I eat. I do make sure I get protein in as I don't want to lose muscle. Also, I've pretty much given up any sweets at all. I'll sometimes eat a weight watchers cookie or snack, but for the most part, I'm totally off sweets. I find that if I eat them, I want them, but if I avoid them, I don't crave them. Also, any good ideas for healthy dinners either something that's not too time consuming to make or something that you buy somewhere would be greatly appreciated!!

January 12, 2009

2

First Pre-Op Dr. Appt.

:thumbup:SO i had my first post-op doctor's appointment and it went well. No infection in the incisions, I'm feeling great, and I've lost 11.6 pounds since surgery. I've lost about 25 lbs since right before the pre-op diet. My blood pressure is pretty high--160/100 and has been for the past three visits. I've always had kind of low blood pressure, even when I was more overweight and I thought losing weight drops your BP? I thought it might be the Wellbutrin, so the doc said to stop taking it. He said I shouldn't have to wean off it because I've only been taking it for about 3 months. Also he prescribed a low dosage of some beta blocker , toporal? or something to get my BP down. I'm on to a PUREED DIET!!!! I'm really excited about this because it means I get to chew something. I'm allowed soft cooked eggs, cottage cheese, yogurt, mashed potatoes and anything pureed in a blender, as well as all the stuff on the liquid diet. I do this for 3-4 days and then I'm on to soft foods, which include soft veggies, toast and crackers, tuna, shrimp, fish, and finely ground meat. I do that for four days, and then I'm on a regular healthy diet as tolerated. That means normal food in about a week! I'm almost scared to eat normal food. I'm doing so well on the liquid diet, I don't want to mess it up. I refuse to gain these 11 pounds back or for that much, the 25 lbs since before pre-op. I weighed 305 today. That means just over 5 pounds before I'm under 300! I also realized that my home scale is broken. I weighed yesterdy I went from 309 to 297 later in the day. I need to buy a new scale. I'm trying not to obsess over the scale, but it makes me feel good when it goes down, and also keeps me in check. So far I'm really happy with this band thing. I'll see what happens when I start eating instead of drinking my meals...

December 9, 2008

3

Nsv

Non Scale Victory: Yesterday I tried on my size 18W pants that I bought from Dillards and they fit with room to spare. I tried on the same brand pants in 16W and they fit but were a little tight. Now, granted, they are a good name brand that usually has generous sizes, but still, these are the smallest pants I own. I also went out last night with a couple of my friends and they pointed out that this good looking guy was checking me out and looking at my butt. In bad news, I've been eating unhealthy food for the past two days. I did get a french fry stuck though it wiggled it's way down, so I don't think I'll be craving french fries anytime soon. I'm going to the grocery store to get healthy food to eat today, so I won't be tempted. I guess old habits are hard to break. When I go out and see my friends ordering french fries and sandwiches, that's what I want too. Luckily, my band is working for me in that I couldn't eat even half of what I ordered, so I took it home, but the bad news is that I ate the leftovers for breakfast, instead of giving them to my friends or throwing them away which I what I did before to break my bad eating cycle. I have been kicking butt at the gym so hopefully that will make up for some of it. Spark People actually had a message saying, "You have burned signficantly more calories than your goal. Your daily calorie goal will not automatically adjust. Do you want to change your goals?" However, this is still not an excuse for eating poorly. The worst part is that I exceeded my calories by alot, but was still under my goal in protein...grrrr! New week, new start!

February 15, 2009

3

Back to life..

So my life has been super busy. I'm now actively dating the guy that I met last week, work is super busy, and I'm still going to the gym..so..right now my problem is that I don't seem to have time to eat. I don't want to eat something crappy, so I've just not been eating much at all. Not in general, just for the past couple of days. Maybe I've been too excited about my dating life to eat? I notice that before if I was stressed out, excited, or whatever emotion, I would eat. Now, if I feel those emotions, I don't eat instead. That's a good thing, but I do need to eat because I'm not getting in enough protein. Oh and so much for sleeping! I'm running on 3 hours of sleep from last night and it's midnight already tonight and I'm still awake. The tiredness is finally hitting me.. I'll do better tomorrow!

February 20, 2009

1

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