my friend had bypass surgery close to 3 months ago....she claims to have lost 60 pounds...i saw her on saturday and was taken back...i saw absolutely no difference!!!!!!!!! none at all!!!!!!! in fact she looks as though she has put on weight in her chin and neck. she kept asking me if i noticed a difference...i stayed quiet and changed the subject...she kept telling me how much smaller her thighs and waist have gotten...i honestly didn't see any change...i wanted to...i tried to...but i don't see it...when i started my journey i weighed 10 more pounds then she did...after losing 60 pounds it was quite noticable...should i lie and tell her i see it??????? or just keep changing the subject...

How often do you see your friend? Maybe where she's lost it you don't see it. If she is your friend you should be supportive of her. If she had RNY 3 months ago I'd think at her size she would have lost 60 lbs by now. Everyone shows their loss differently.

You can be encouraging and not feel like you're lying, it's all in the delivery.

Something along the lines like "Great job, keep up the good work" or countless other things.

I totally agree with being able to see weight loss on people (or not sometimes as with this case). I lost 35lbs before anyone noticed, and I only have a total of 100lbs to lose (I say only like it's 2lbs right?..lol).

I could tell in my pants, in my face, in everything I did, but no one else could, or if they did, they didn't say anything.

ALWAYS be supportive of friends/family when they're conquering demons. Even though their successes may not be physically obvious, the more important emotional ones need nurturing.

I don't yet but I am sure I will be soon at the rate that you are losing!

the only reason i worry about telling her how great she looks at this point...is she is the definition of "unmotivated"...u literally have to make her do everything in life...i'm afraid if i make a big deal of what she has lost ....she'll feel its enuff and stop...she is still at an unhealthy weight...its kind of a lose...lose situation...she does not eat healthy at all nor exercise...i don't want her to go to town with food ....thinking she is finished...

Unnecessary drama. Let your friend do what she does and be honest, if that is truly your friend. Whether she looks like she lost the weight or not shouldn't matter, but I know honesty matters in a friendship. If she says she lost the weight trust that.

Okay, stab in the dark. Maybe if she lost the weight super quickly, it takes a while for her body to adjust. Does that make any sense at all? Things need to tighten up a bit?

I agree - just tell her congratulations, that's great, blah blah blah. You can also say "you look different" because you really thought she was different - even though it wasn't exactly the different she was looking for.