Hello everyone,

I am brand new to this site and this procedure. I went to my first orientation meeting 3 weeks ago and I am waiting on Tufts to do the I Can Change program and set up my initial appointments.

I'm not really sure what to think yet. Has anyone ever felt like they're cheating by having weight loss surgery? Like your not strong-willed enough to do it the correct way? I'm a former college basketball player and I used to exercise and weight lift constantly. Now, no matter how much exercise I do, I just gain or maintain, never lose. Also, my boyfriend isn't thrilled with the idea of me having surgery. He's not against it, he would never make that decision for me, but hes not happy either. We've been together for almost 7 years, and I know he loves me. I'm not sure what to make of his reaction. I'm going to need his support through this. Hopefully other people have had these feelings or problems too.

Brittany

Hi Brittany, You are OK!!! Yes, I also feel same way as you. I have been approved but do not have a date yet. I am 52 DID I just say that??? Now thats hard to belive. Because I will be 18 till I die!! No kidding. I needed to ask for help on this one.

Oh yes the doctors have been suggesting this for about 6 or more years. I did not want to listen to them. I was in denial I think hu I know. Six weeks ago I had a health complication and end up in the hospital. I was totally dependant on others to take care of me. That just sucked. No Kidding.... Having support is key. I am NOT, that is NOT going to tell everyone. People watch me do WW and I am good at it. So let them think what they want. Only my Dr. and Family know I will be doing this.

I have found some very nice people to chat with on this page. I do not know how to work the site yet either. The more I explore the more interesting it gets. I do not have a picture becuse I do not know how to get one do you? I will need support too, I'm glad I found this site.

I'd like to be a support if you will for me too? I will be having it done at Lahey in Burlington Ma.

Have a nice day.

imaluckydog

Brit, you aren't cheating. Lap band is a "helper", a tool. You are still going to have to work at this. Make the right food choices, exercise, make sure you drink enough liquid and take in enough Protein. The difference is that the assistance from the band will help you stick with it. The band will NOT keep you from eating Cookies and ice cream, or candy and other stuff. The band won't reject it. So you are still going to be working at this. Has your boyfriend ever articulated WHY he's not really in favor of the surgery? Did he go to the seminar with you? Does he really know what it's like to be overweight and lose the weight and gain it back, more than once? Have you heavy for the entire 7 years? If so, perhaps he's just a little insecure that you might not find him as appealing after you've lost weight? It happens, alot. And even more often, the insecurities pop up even if the problem doesn't exist.

Luckydog...you're just "growing older but not up" (quote courtesy of Jimmy Buffett).

Hello Brittany,

I am new here as well. My name is Sharon and I am 52 as well (not too old imaluckydog). I feel like this is the easy way out and that I am weak for not having enough willpower to do this on my own. But I have lost the same 40 lbs for the last 10-12 years. I don't want to do that anymore. I am 3 months into the 6 month diet that my insurance requires. I have had almost all my pre-op tests and am looking at having surgery the end of August or early September. I don't know exactly how this forum works but try to figure it out. I usually log on every morning and read the posts, but I haven't responded until today. Good luck Brittany and hopefully we will help each other through this process.

Sharon

You are so not taking the easy way out! The band is merely a tool that helps you lose weight by restricting portion sizes. People who know nothing about bariatric surgery will view it as a quick fix, which it isn't. I had someone ask me "You are doing this for health reasons, right?" Duh! No, I thought I would use it to turn myself into a geriatric Barbie! Please!

My PCP had been after me for a long time to lose weight. In my head I knew what to do, but had never lost more than 20 lbs or so on any kind of diet. My starting weight was 252 which isn't as high as many, but I was wearing 2X or womens size 22-24, and I was miserable. My BMI was around 38, but I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, reflux, joint arthritis, just about every co-morbidity except diabetes.

Now I wear size misses 10-12, or small to medium tops and small pants. I no longer take cholesterol medicine, reflux medicine, and we just recently stopped my last BP med to see how I do off it and that is the last of the RX drugs. I will always have knee arthritis, but my knees feel a whole lot better than they did, and I rarely need pain medicine for it.

Now instead of working out at Curves, then eating an entire 12-15 inch pizza (my idea of feeling full was to feel stuffed), I walk almost every day about 4 miles, sometimes more if I have the time (on Mother's Day it was so beautiful here in Maryland I spent the afternoon at the park where I walk, and went around the trail 4 times, about 8 miles!). I still belong to Curves (mostly use it on rainy days), and I recently joined the local rec center which has a fitness room with 3 treadmills, bike, elliptical, free weights and a Universal weight machine. The rec center is run by the County and costs all of $2 a month. I joined on May 1st, and they prorate the annual fee, so I paid $16 for the rest of the year. I can handle that. I try to exercise at least 6 days out of 7 (I need one day to grocery shop and run errands, but if I can work them around my exercise, I do).

I won't say I never get off track (there is lots of temptation out there), but instead of beating myself up about it, I pick myself up and, one day at a time, get back to the reason I did this.

I am not ruling out the geriatric Barbie part, though. I just need a plastic surgeon who wants to work for free

Edited May 14, 200917 yr by PATCHELTON

Thanks for the words of encouragement. There is hope. I know that one day at a time and with help from people like you, I can do this.

I decided to have the surgery, then I started reading some of the posts and became terrified, and now I am simply confused. I have decided not to tell people except for a few close friends and my family. I have failed at so many diets, that I am afraid that this won't work either. I read about bands slipping, some people had to have their bands removed, and other issues that scare me. One good thing is to read messages from people like you all... You are a blessing to those of us in need!

Thank you everyone who has responded. Its extremely encouraging to hear that there are other people having the same thoughts as me. I know I can have will power when I want to, its just really hard to maintain it over a long period of time. Thats why support is huge. Without people to keep you going its impossible. Please, keep providing comments and stories, its great!

Hello Brittany and Welcome to LBT. You will find alot of great support here and honest answers.

I didn't read anyone elses responses so excuse me if I am repeating anything.

Do I feel like I cheated? No. The band is a tool. You will hear it 100 times before you even get to surgery I am sure. I have to work my band everyday to do what needs to be done to lose / maintain. It's not the easy way out... if it were easy we wouldn't all be on this board 1/2 of us wouldn't have blogs and journals to detail the ups and downs.

Losing weight is an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes youre up and sometimes you're down. You need to pay attention to the facts too that some people encounter spousal issues when they begin losing weight.... it becomes emotional for the spouse to. The divorce rate seems to be somewhat higher because of this.

There are some people that are able to lose the weight with minimal exercise and just working the band... Others exercise religously and begin altering their lifestyle to suit a more healthy ones. These tend to be the people that get the best results from the band.

You have to understand that this isn't an instant cure as you're probably aware Follow everything the surgeon says and be sure to keep asking questions on the forums, reading threads, and keeping your signifigant other in the loop.

I wish you lots of luck on this wonderful journey.