I thought that when I reached my goal I would feel good - I mean really good. I went from a size 24 to a size 10 - from 311lbs to 179lbs - YET I still have days where I feel ugly and/or fat! I want it to go away! I just wanna feel good! Sometimes I see pics and can't believe it is me - other times I see them and genuinely think I look BIG! I don't know what to do about! Any ideas?? Will it ever get better?? Any things you tried that worked?? Please advice! Thank you so much!!!

I am sorry that you are having those feelings. It can't feel good. Have you tried counseling? One thing I was told when I had my psych eval pre-op was if I was unhappy before surgery, I'd still be unhappy when all the weight was gone. She told me, you are who you are whether you weigh 300 or 100. She was adamant the losing weight would not solve problems other then medical ones. She gave me a lot to think about.

I do hope you find happiness and contentment. Keep posting

I agree...find a therapist with whom you can discuss your issues. I think it's a reason of lot of people regain lost weight...they don't really "believe" they lost, or they expect it to make life fantastic, and it doesn't. Therapy will help you through this.

I haven't lost as much weight as you have yet but I can relate to the part about still seeing myself as fat. I went last week to buy something new to wear for Christmas and I didn't have time to try any of it on and when I got home and tried it all on, it was all huge. I realized I had bought everything in a 3X when I'm actually in a 14/16 now. It's just so weird. I was a happy fat person...not happy with how I looked, but happy with my lot in life. And although I've lost nearly 50 pounds, I still think I look too fat in pictures. Hopefully as time goes by you will come to terms with the new thinner you. Congrats on your weight loss thus far and best of luck in the future.

I haven't been banded yet, but I wanted to say that from dieting in the past i can relate 100%. And it feels horrible to think that youve come so far, and still dont feel any better. Thus is why i gained all the weight i lost back + some. But i was told once that it takes much longer for your head to catch up with the "new" you. Meaning, that even though you can step on the scale and physically see you have lost weight, your mental picture of yourself still hasnt caught up. Hopefully in time it will. I never got far enough to say if it does or not. But congrats to eveyone who has lost the weight! :frown: I hope to be there one day too! Youre all a great inspiration to me.

Hi COlady.

Aint that some stuff? Who'd a thought it would be like this? But it is. You know, there's is a transformation that's taken place but you're head hasn't caught on just yet.

But then again there are some really profound things that remain the same. Good things too. Like you've got the same heart that cares deeply about things you cared about before. And you have the same eyes that reflect all the sweetness you shared before...regardless of the packaging some things don't change and for that we can be happy.

But then wow, some things are starteling different. May I suggest that you find a place that's free of distractions and really remember what 300+ pounds was like? Go to a place where other people won't bother you and focus on what walking was like, or for me it's carrying laundry baskets. Climbing the stairs, bathroom stalls that were too small...

Remember how it felt then think about how you feel in your body. This isn't about how you look, that will come. But think about how you feel. I'm sure there's a difference you can measure.

Good luck.

I to started out at 311 when I began the program. I lost 15 pounds prior to surgery. My surgery was 7/9/08 and I am now at a total weight loss of 59 pounds (down to 252). I still have a lot more to lose but have already gone down three sizes. I get compliments all of the time but I just do not see it, or feel it yet. I am frustrated that I am not enjoying the success I have already but I am still that "fat girl" in my head.

Oh Juli said it quite eloquently! At my surgeon's support group they say that we had surgery on our stomachs not on our brains. not only does that effect our relationship/addictions/issues with food but also with our self image. I have lost 74 pounds so far and sometimes I feel "skinny" (at 264 pounds no less!!!) and then other times i realize that i am still obese and have a long way to go but i do feel like a new person and that is worth the "price of admission" to me!!!

Colady:

I can totally relate to what you are feeling. I started at 324 and this morning I was at 180 - up from 176 - yipes - Xmas eating:( Will get rid of 4 - 5 pounds over the next two weeks - not worried thanks to my band.)

Having gone as high as 324 my skin has been stretched way too much, and I have a nasty hanging belly. Some days I could almost get sick when I think about what I've done to myself. But then, I put my clothes back on and think about how great I look. I won't be able to afford plastic surgery for a long time, if ever, so I just have to get used to it.

I try to concentrate on how much better I feel when I am having one of those "I am still fat" days. Most days I feel like an average-sized woman when I am clothed. I'm alot older than you, but I was obese since my late 20's. So, now I feel like I'm in my late 20's, early 30's most days.

Some days when I am walking uptown I go by the store windows and see a reflection of an average-sized woman. I don't recognize her, but she is me!

Try to concentrate on all of the good things about having lost all that weight and push aside the bad. Please be proud of yourself. I'm sure there are people who love you that are very proud of you.

I think that another part that may make it so hard to enjoy our smaller bodies is that we're new to it. It's hard to believe that we can stay small when we're so new to it. We'll probably believe it when we're more used to it. I can see that you joined lapband talk in Oct. 2007, so you were probably banded in 2007. I was too.

Best wishes to you. Please share any tricks with me when you figure them out.

Take care and enjoy that slimmer body!

Sue

I thought that when I reached my goal I would feel good - I mean really good. I went from a size 24 to a size 10 - from 311lbs to 179lbs - YET I still have days where I feel ugly and/or fat! I want it to go away! I just wanna feel good! Sometimes I see pics and can't believe it is me - other times I see them and genuinely think I look BIG! I don't know what to do about! Any ideas?? Will it ever get better?? Any things you tried that worked?? Please advice! Thank you so much!!!

Reading your message, I am struck by how totally normal the way you are feeling is! :laugh: Even my thin friends have days when they feel like they aren't at their best.

You deserve to cut yourself a lot of slack (maybe 132 lbs worth!! -- Wow -- your stats are impressive!) and, whenever you are beating yourself up about how you look, please remind yourself that you have literally lost another person.

I am sure that you look a million times better and healthier at your current weight than you did at the start of your journey. Enjoy it! If you get in the habit of reminding yourself to focus on the positive when you get down on yourself, it will become a habit. And, in time, I bet that your "fat" days will be few and far between!

Congratulations on doing so amazingly -- you are an inspiration!!

Happy New Year,

Catherine

I totally relate with you... I am in a size 8, and still fight this feeling on a daily basis... I see the flab in the mirror, and then sometimes, see myself out of the corner of my eye in the mirror and am ummm... shocked that it is ME. I don't know if my brain will totally catch up... but I keep reminding myself...

Therapy will help.

Thank you sooooo much! I hadn't logged on since I wrote that, but when I did and read all that you wrote I ended up crying my eyes out for how kind all of you are and for those of that you that could relate - it felt like I wasn't alone anymore! I think I will try the therapy idea. My doc actually offers free support groups and I am going to that on Monday and then individual therapy if necessary.

Please understand I definitely feel the difference 137lbs, but I think that sometimes I just try to ignore how I was and maybe I need to refocus on that so I can make the comparison. I don't want to feel this way anymore!!!

Thanks for all of your support! It really helped!!! THANKS!

COLady, I am so happy that you are going to support group and thinking about therapy. you deserve to feel great and you will in 2009! i for one am proud of you!! keep us posted.

I swing wildly between 2 extremes. I'm a size 8 now at 5ft 10, so I'm tall and thin, but I still feel flabby and fat a lot of days.

All this talk though of "normal weight" and my normal weight really isnt. I stand next to just about anyone, and I'm very much thinner and fitter looking. All my friends have had babies, they've all got the middle age spread happening, many of them are actually obese. I cant help but feel fantastic when I compare myself.

But it doesnt change the fact that its still excruciatingly embarrassing those first moments when you bare yourself on the beach, that I feel desperate in the change rooms when i see the state of my backside, that some days I feel like I need my own post code.

It doesnt change the fact that I'm older than I was 10 years ago and look it.

But I'd have to say after 18 months at goal, it IS getting better. I'm becoming more used to myself and how I look and I've really forgotten what it was like to be 250lb.