INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as

Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as:

NBA 5.0,

NFL 3.0 and

Golf Clubs 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:

Cooking 3.0 and

Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!

:smile2::lol:

Perhaps this should be posted in the Men's Room...it might prompt a thought or moment of reflection!

NAH - wouldn't happen!

:lol::crying:

Perhaps this should be posted in the Men's Room...it might prompt a thought or moment of reflection!

NAH - wouldn't happen!

LOL - I think it should be a "How To" Guide...:smile2:

Beware. Excess use of Nagging 5.3 will result in the installation of Mistress 1.0, Mistress 2.0, Mistress 3.0 and possibly even Wife 2.0

Manatee *pout* ... you're not even supposed to be in here ... *pout*

:tt2:

Beware. Excess use of Nagging 5.3 will result in the installation of Mistress 1.0, Mistress 2.0, Mistress 3.0 and possibly even Wife 2.0

Which would then lead to Child Support 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 depending on your operating system. Allimony 1.0 and the Virus Lawyer Bills for the rest of your life.

Well, it does spice it up a bit when a man sneaks into the ladies' room.

I'm going to copy and paste that thread to my husband. While he operated more lik boyfriend 5.0 for the first 3 years of our marriage, he has definitely been much more like husband 1.0 for the past 6 years. We just had a converstaion about it this past weekend and I told him I need more and he's been trying (bless him). I've been trying too because I love him and I know he loves me but I think I'm way too much of a drama queen to be in a "contented" marriage. I need passion and romance.

it was a joke btw ... i think manatee gets it... :tt2:

LOL Love it! To bad it is true!

Losing - I think he gets it too :-)

Hehe - I guess this is the answer to the old classic:

Software Conflict: Wife 1.0 Upgrade

Last year, after hearing how great it was for so long, a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 3.0 to Wife 1.0. He has found Wife 1.0 to be a resource hog, leaving him very little free space for other applications. Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-Subroutines, which further consumes valuable system resources. His system performance and resources seem to diminish with each passing day. At first, he thought Wife 1.0 might be infected with a virus, but other users have assured him that Wife 1.0 is behaving normally and this behavior should be expected due to the nature of the application.

My friend also discovered that Wife 1.0 installed itself in such a way that it can monitor all other system activity. He now finds that some programs such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 5.1 and PubNight 7.0 cannot run at all. If he attempts to launch them, Wife 1.0 complains about a sharing violation and crashes. He finds this behavior strange since he could run these programs just fine before he upgraded.

At installation, he found Wife 1.0 provides no option to bypass the installation of undesired add-ons such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release.

Some features he would like to see introduced in the upcoming Wife 2.0 release:

• A "Don't Remind Me Again" button.
  
• A Minimize button.
  
• An Install Shield that allows Wife 2.0 to be uninstalled at anytime without the loss of cache or other system resources.
  
• An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode.
  

I have decided to forego all the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking to Girlfriend 3.0. However, even that option has many problems. Apparently, you cannot install one version of Girlfriend before you completely uninstall the old version first. To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. If the newer version finds a reference to the old version, Girlfriend will completely freeze until you reboot and remove the stray reference. I am told this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of.

Also, versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. Another thing that stinks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.

***** BUG WARNING *****

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.0 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete all MSMoney files and take all your cache before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0. will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

***** BUG WORKAROUNDS *****

If you can afford it, try installing Mistress 1.0 on an entirely different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Another possible solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via an ISP under an anonymous name.

Fanny - ROFL....hehehehehhehe

Fanny - You shouldn't make me laugh so hard first thing in the morning - coffee hurts when it comes out your nose!!

THIS IS SO FUNNY!!! lol lol

Beware. Excess use of Nagging 5.3 will result in the installation of Mistress 1.0, Mistress 2.0, Mistress 3.0 and possibly even Wife 2.0

I could see those applications being ending by something like, Lossofmember5.0