Can you be an overweight person and have a good self esteem?

cheese makes my self esteem happy :redface:

I love it. Truth can be so pithy.

Oh yes, and thank you for that post, KatW. I identify with so much of what you said. I was thin for about a minute it high school (well, it felt like a minute) and I believe my hate for my body image found other avenues. But, like so many, I couldn't keep up staying thin in a healthy way. "Look at your good stuff"! Sage advice : )

Edited June 21, 200818 yr by tommaney

KatW,

Thanks I needed to hear that and you are a very insightful person. I think some of us learn this lesson at a later age than others. I wish I could have felt as good about myself now as I had when I was younger and even thinner or fatter. Maybe it's a blessing that comes with age, who knows.

I have ridden the self esteem roller coaster with my husband. I met him in 1978 and we've been together pretty much ever since. When he first met me I was fat and saw me go up and down with my weight and never said anything derogatory about it. He didn't have to because of my self loathing during that time I took care of it for both of us and it was a toxic part of our relationship, not the fat but my self loathing.

This gift of self esteem that I'm acquiring now by actually studying and also learning from you great peeps is a gift that I've also giving to him and our relationship. Is a marriage or relationship better with a happy person or a miserable one? It doesn't really matter if my body is fat or thin to him it's how I am inside that counts. It may sound crazy to most people who read this, but it's very true for me at least.

Sex is not just an expression of lust, although that part is nice but you're expressing to one another how much you love and appreciate them in a physical, emotional and mental sense. Everything always goes to sex in these threads!!!

Thanks, brandyII, one who is working on her self esteem at this point in time and hopes to continue to do so even if she is berated by a few miserable people who don't seem to get it...................:redface:

Georgiag,

I'll move on when people stop posting me about it! This is not my first negative encounter with Jachut and will not be my last.:redface:

I'm still passionate about everything I've said and she's moved on to Rants and Raves so unless you want to discuss self esteem in the Mental Health and Lapband Life Social Group you should probably move on also because this is not the appropriate place for it, thanks brandyII:thumbup:

Hey, ya'll are the one's who started it, so don't lecture me on this not being the appropriate place! Practice what you preach. This started out about self-esteem until you turned into something else. No one to blame but you for that one. I'm finished here, so best of luck to you!

Is this fricken grade school now, people grow up!!!

cheese makes me happy :redface:

froggi, it's okay go to your happy place. I sense you are upset we won't let the bad people hurt you! By the way, is your happy place on a lily pad?

oooo i wish i had a lillypad

im confused im in the chatroom and people are telling me if i lose weight on my 6 month diet for insurance that insurance will deny me WTF?

im confused im in the chatroom and people are telling me if i lose weight on my 6 month diet for insurance that insurance will deny me WTF?

Well I don't know what they're talking about. My surgeon put me on a 5 week liquid diet to shrink my liver (I think that's what that was) and also I thought it had something to do with proving that I was capable of losing weight. Well I lost 25 pounds and I think my daughter lost around 40 prior to surgery. I'd ask them for specifics. I mean are they talking doctors, insurance, what???:confused:brandyII

Froggi, you know what's better than a lily pad, a three foot above ground pool with a queen size air mattress! Libations and men are optional.:redface: A girl can only dream!!!!

my nutritionist and nurse told me if i lose it wouldnt matter because id still have a bmi higher than 40

Froggi, don't worry about it! You're going to be fine! If you need reassurance ask your own doctors. I don't think I even had approval until one week prior to surgery and I didn't worry about it because everything was being handled the way it was supposed to be. But you can always double check if you have any questions about it. brandyII.

my nutritionist and nurse told me if i lose it wouldnt matter because id still have a bmi higher than 40

Yeah Froggie I think you're still okay here--denying you for losing weight sounds so absurd. I know that the criteria for my insurance company says anything over 40 qualifies. But, below that the requirement includes one of 3 comobidities.

Any way you can send a question/email your insurance about that?

Sorry this doesn't directly apply to self-esteem. Just trying to assuage some worries out there.

It's nice to see this thread is trying to get back on topic. As for me, I believe self-esteem is tied to many variables and one might me how long the person has been obese. I was fat as a child and adult and never knew myself as a normal weight person. Consequently, my self-esteem has always been fairly high. I would say my confidence level seems to increase the less I weigh.

Yes, yes, yes.... that is one thing i can say is that as i drop the weight the more confident i become..... I was not always as confident as i am right now, because i was a child that was always bigger than my cousins, like one of my cousins could have been 40-lbs and i was 50lbs not much of a diffrence but 10lbs when u are a kid growing up will put u in the next size clothing... and it was bad... I was always told u are so pretty but only if u could loose some weight... the hell with that.. I am a show stopper bottom line... And i command attention where ever i go. I think i am one of the only fat girls that took it and ran with it.. I would say hell if i'm going to be fat i might as well be the prettiest fat girl in the world...and the confidence i had on the inside showed on the outside and the finest guys would approach me because they said they liked my confidence. One last thing.. the way u feel about yourself on the inside will reflect on the outside and people can and will pick up on it. You don't have to be overweight to have self esteem issues.. your ears can be bigger than others, you can be shorter than everyone else around u, or you could be darker, or lighter than most people in your circle. Your clothes may not be of the same brand as the people that u want to hang around that will cause u to have self esteem issues... being fatter is just one of the smaller issues that causes people to have poor self esteem.....:ohmy:

Edited June 22, 200818 yr by mstrina27