Can you be an overweight person and have a good self esteem?

i posted a post here and i dont see it anywhere lol or was it another post im so lost LOL

i posted a post here and i dont see it anywhere lol or was it another post im so lost LOL

Leave it to you Froggi to get lost in this place, LOL. I saw a few posts you made on the first page. Did you post another one recently or something?

I have no idea i got lost LOL

I have no idea i got lost LOL

:redface::lol:

I agree with that. I don't hate myself, I just hate the fact that I let myself get so unhealthy. Two totally different things.

It takes two people to argue. Just sayin...

Here's my two cents.

I didn't read anywhere on this thread where Jachut made derogatory comments about fat people. She stated HER experience and thoughts about HER life as being fat, no one else's. I don't get why you were so defensive about HER experience. She said that she was lazy, unmotivated, and careless as a fat person and she said that not all fat people were that way. So, I didn't take any of that as being derogatory or insensitive to others. I'm confused as to why you felt the need to argue her first two posts :redface:.

The question of whether or not an obese/overweight person can have good self-esteem is going to vary from person to person. It all depends on how you feel about yourself. Do I think it's possible? Yes. Am I there? Not quite, but I'm getting there. It's getting better and better as I lose weight.

I myself edit my posts, usually due to spelling errors as I was a typist for many years and it's just a habit, I don't use spell check here and so time to time I'll see a stupid error I've made and I'll edit it out.

FYI

I responded to a heated response from Jachut and then when I came back to read more posts she had edited out some pertinent material so as to not look as mean, I'm only assuming! An example, if you trust my honesty "utter twaddle" was used and if you were to look I don't think you'll see it in her post.

Then she completely removed it, except for the first and last sentence and wrote something that I never would have responded to like that.

I guess the joke is on me, I've learned from that and now know if you're going to respond to some nasty post make sure you ALWAYS place it in quotations first or you'll get screwed in the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!! brandyII

Which post did she change or remove, was it her third one?

cheese makes my self esteem happy :redface:

Which post did she change or remove, was it her third one?

Post #16, you can see where she origonally typed it at 11:15 PM and then it was last edited at 11:57.

She's not denying she did it but it's kind of unfair to change it like that (twice) and make me look like the bad guy or a bit nutty:drool:, am I wrong?

cheese makes my self esteem happy :redface:

Eating it or cutting it?

lol cutting the cheese makes my tummy happy eating the cheese makes my self esteem happy lol

You're just silly but really do frogs snap at the bubbles?

i dunno i dont go underwater and stare at frogs to see if they snap at bubbles o.O

Post #16, you can see where she origonally typed it at 11:15 PM and then it was last edited at 11:57.

She's not denying she did it but it's kind of unfair to change it like that (twice) and make me look like the bad guy or a bit nutty:drool:, am I wrong?

Okay, to me, it seemed you were defensive before that post. After her second post (post #11) you said because she was at goal, she felt it was okay to make derogatory comments about fat people and you accused her of being self-loathing before that. Heck, that would make me heated too because that is not what she said! I think that is where this started getting ugly. Is saying that she was lazy as a fat person implying that you or anyone else is? I don't think so. At 330 lbs, I was lazy and I admit it. What's wrong with that?

I'm sure you won't agree with me, but I say we agree to disagree and move on.

Georgiag,

I'll move on when people stop posting me about it! This is not my first negative encounter with Jachut and will not be my last.:redface:

I'm still passionate about everything I've said and she's moved on to Rants and Raves so unless you want to discuss self esteem in the Mental Health and Lapband Life Social Group you should probably move on also because this is not the appropriate place for it, thanks brandyII:thumbup:

Brandy,

i am going to bypass all the back and forth and address your original question.

I believe it is possible to be overweight and have healthy self esteem- I would characterize it for myself as self love. Whithin that love I can still be aware and addressing my character defects. They will always be there whether I am fat or thin. I will always be able to act from the best of myself or the worst.

I have lived my life as both a fat person and a thin person. When I was young and fat, I hated myself for what I saw as my hugeness. When I was thin, I indulged in a smug arrogance that I was somehow superior to my former self because I had conquered my weight problem- really I replaced that weight problem with an exercise problem. In reality, I worried constantly that I would lose it all (ie be fat again and therefore without value) I was unable to enjoy my hard work. In fact, my hard work became a prison. Instead of being a food addict, I was an exercise bulimic. I was not so different at all, only the package was different.

When I was young and fat, I was filled with self hate. When I was young and thin, I was filled with self hate that I directed at others. i was so afraid I would lose control. I hated anything that reminded me of my former self. Eventually, I did lose control- as we all do when we are acting from outside ourselves. ANd it was the best thing that ever happened. I was still the same person, different package. I had to learn a different way of being. Now here I am, years later- still fat but healthy and happy, with a husband who loves me(I never would have allowed him in my life until I learned to love myself first. I wouldn't have been able to tolerate his positive and unconditional regard.) i have a life that is full, rich and overflowing with more abundance than i could ever have thought I deserved as my younger self.

And I have all of it fat. I think you are very couragious to put these questions out there. It isn't easy to be on a quest- which I think you are. (Know that sounds corny).

To conclude my long winded post. I think that fat people's choices and mistakes are written on our bodies in a way that other peoples are not. But I believe that our mistakes are no greater than any one elses. If they are worth something, so are we all. We are all the products of our choices. We tend to focus on the bad, but we are all a mixed bag. Look at your good stuff. Work on those and the bad will diminish in comparison. What grows in us is what we feed- no pun intended.