Is it odd that I don't won't people to know I want to get the Lap Band surgery and this includes family. I think I'm embarrassed about the whole notion of not being able to loose the weight on my own.

Has anyone felt this way?

I was banded on may 13th and am down 30 pnds! I had been talking to some coworkers who had bypass and decided that was too severe for me. The band was the right fit for me and my lifestyle. I decided early on that I was going to tell almost everyone, figured one way or the other questions would be asked and I wanted them on my terms.

I did and still do feel slightly ashamed about not being able to do it on my own , but How much more foolish was it to keep going on the way I was. Either way people are going to talk about me atleast this way its hopefully positive. Every person has to make their own decision about it and just know that regardless of their opinions you have made the right decision FOR YOU! goodluck

I too belive it's a personal decision. So far I have decided not to mention it to anyone other than my husband. I asked him to go to my first seminar w/me and he's been very supportive. As for work, well, there are about 12 of us and none of them have a weight problem. Once the subject of gastric bypass/surgical weight loss came up - "Oh, how drastic!" one said. I knew then they would never understand my situation. Once I get my surgery date, I'll request vacation time. I asked my Mom to watch out children when we attended that first seminar. I told her I was "looking into it" and to please not mention it to anyone. So if she keeps her word, no one else knows. If I do mention it to anyone I pray they don't get on their high horse and make me feel bad about my decision.

I agree Northwest and you siad it perfectly ..

Why should you feel ashamed or embarrassed about having a procedure done that can end up improving your health, or even saving your life? Most people I work with and all of my family know I have had the procedure. I am willing to answer all of their questions concerning it and hopefully can help someone else if they may be considering this option. It is the best thing I have done for myself healthwise and I am reaping benefits physically, socially, spiritually, and emotionally. There are ignorant people who feel that people who have the lapband done are taking the "easy way out". But, if you have had the procedure done, you know how much work and effort it takes to make this tool successful. It certainly doesn't do it by itself.

This is a very personal decision. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to tell people. I am not telling my co-workers as I am sure it will be the subject of much discussion. I am hoping to have surgery on July 1 and will take a few days off around the long weekend. I am always on some type of diet, so I plan to disclose the pre-op liquid diet as a medically supervised "jump start" to a new plan. I hope that will explain the first few pounds. My immediate family knows and a just a couple of close friends who are very supportive.

By characterizing it as "pulling a Star Jones" I think you put a negative spin on a very private decision. I thought the media was unduly critical of Jones for not "going public." Why should she? Just because other public figures choose to disclose, doesn't mean everyone else has to come clean.

Do what you feel most comfortable doing. You will know when it is okay or "safe" to tell someone. If people start to ask questions, just say you are on a new diet. I know some people ask for details--I plan to say simply, "high Protein, low carb, several small meals each day, plenty of Water and exercise." That will all be true. Good luck to you.

Hi folks, interesting conversation--

I guess I still look at the band pretty pragmatically--who cares if I need help to lose weight--what do people think weight watchers, Atkins, all those self-help books are? Sure, they are all tools to help me lose weight. Well if I "buy a band" and mis-use it, it doesn't help any better than my Nordic track when its only function is as a clothes rack. (I'm not the only one who has one of those brand-name clothes racks, right?)

You know the people in your life better than any of us. Are they the types to condemn you (have they never fought their own battles with losing weight?) or support you? If they are critical, small-minded people, then by all means don't tell them. But my experience has been (although I don't share indiscriminately) that even people who don't "love me" have been supportive.

If this tool is available to you and you fail to make use of it, haven't you condemned yourself to failure? certainly more so than if you take the chance, make the effort, use the tool and (gasp!) succeed this time?

There are lots of us who are (finally) finding success with the band--as for me, I had to admit that I could not it on my own. Now I'm free of the delusion of control and 75 pounds lighter so far (46 before banding 2/15/08, 29 after). As trades go, i think i got the better deal.

I hope you choose to believe in yourself and the great success that you CAN find with this tool. Blessed be.

I have not yet been banded, but I am still not sure who I will tell. The only people who know that I am even considering this are my mom and best friend. I will tell my Dad when I go to visit around Father's day. Most likely, I will not tell anyone else including family and co-workers. I just don't want to be crititized for my decision. I admire those that are open and honest about it to everyone, maybe one day I will feel like I can be more open.

It is such a personal decision and I am typically a private person and originally only told my family and a couple of friends, but somehow about 10 minutes after my surgery a couple of my friends announced how great I was doing after surgery and everyone at work was told. I wasn't sure what to think at first but now I am actually glad they all know. Everyone has been so supportive and of course everyone knows someone who had lap band or wants it

It has been an amazing supportive network I never would have expected. t is also great to hear,"oh I can really tell! Or how much are you down this week". It keeps me motivated.

You never know how things will turn out.

...My recommendation is to only tell people who will be supportive of your decision. ...

I did the same. I only told a handful of people about my lapband. The rest, including my coworkers, were told that I had hernia surgery. They seemed satisfied. I asked my handful of close friends to agree to keep it under their hat. I told them that it was my decision and my news to tell others about it if I wanted others to know. They were very understanding and have been very supportive. I chose the right group of people to tell.

I finally just told my husband a couple days ago that I am going to have this done in the near future. This is after researching the lap band for nearly a year and now finally getting insurance next month that doesn't have a lap band exclusion. He is not very supportive. He said that as long as it doesn't cost much out of pocket he doesn't care.

My mother in law has known for quite some time that I have been looking into it and is totally supportive. She would be, she's the only family member in my life who is obese and understands the struggles. She told me, "Do it and don't look back, if I were your age I'd do it" She is 74 now so it's not a choice. She is an RN and I want her to be there for me before and after surgery. Not my husband. (is that weird or what)

I have yet to tell my "skinny" family. How I got my fat genes is beyond me. I've always known I had the misfortune to have problems with food. My mom just really controlled my eating from an early childhood. It wasn't till I was out of her control that I really picked up the weight. I was always a normal weight under her control, but it wasn't easy. I am the only one who really struggles with weight. I just don't want to hear about it from them. I know my parents will tell me that if I just diet and exercise then I'll meet my goal (as if that has worked the past 24 years!) I don't think I'm going to tell them. I feel badly for not even telling my parents that I will be going under the knife but I don't see what I can gain by telling them. We are very close and talk nearly everyday. This is just something they don't understand and I don't think they ever will.

i told everybody i was having the lap band procedure. my reason was purely a selfish one. i felt that if i told everybody i'd be embarrassed not to follow the rules and stick to the diet. i dont have too good a track record with the whole dieting thing. and my weight got really out of hand, becoming diabetic was the last straw. i wish i had gotten banded before it reached that point. but whether you choose to tell people or not no matter what your reasons are, just satisfy yourself and do what works for you.