I just have to get this out....

In the last few days, I have reached what I think is a significant weight loss goal. I have lost my first 50 pounds! How exciting! Right?

Well, I was quite excited... texting and calling family and friends. I called my mother in law... and instead of her congratulating me and telling me she was happy or proud or any such positive thing... the first thing out of her mouth.... "well good, now you can start working on the next 50". WTF?!?!?! Nothing like bursting my bubble! Sheesh! Made me want to go gorge on some donuts! Then today I was at the bank and I hadn't been in there in awhile because I ususally just use the drive through (it is easier then getting my kids out of carseats and trying to keep them from running around in the bank) Deep down, I hoped the ladies at the bank might notice my weight loss. Then, as I am heading out the door... one of the ladies asked me when my baby was due? WHAT?!?! Are you kdding me? This is the smallest I have been in 10 years! I went back to my car in tears. I'm glad my husband was with me and I didn't have to drive.

Tonight I don't know how to feel. I am quite proud of my accomplishments so far. However, I feel hurt that I received what I felt to be negative feedback during a time that I was trying to Celebrate my success.

Does it make any sense to have hurt feelings? Probably not. But I just can't seem to get over it. Maybe I need to keep my celebrations to myself in the future? Maybe I need to learn to not rely on others for positive feedback? Maybe I need to go get the damn donuts and get it over with and then just move on?? hahaha

Mamato3,

YOU GO GIRL!!!! 50 POUNDS IS FANTASTIC!!!:thumbup::thumbup:

Thank you for giving me so much encouragement today!

Own your power, don't let others take it away. When others find themselves not meeting their own goals or accomplishments they tend to diminish others . I would only share this type news with your freinds and family you trust to appreciate what you have accomplished. You go girl. HOORAY!!!!!!!

Hi Mamato3,I agree with everyone else here. 50lbs is excellent!! You should be so proud. I don't know what is wrong with your MIL but I sure hope I never say anything that cruel to my DIL. She probably needs to make you feel bad to make herself feel better. People like that have problems. It's not you. Keep up the great work.

Saleel22

Turn that hate into somethine beneficial to yourself.

My get up and move song, well one of them is Hate on Me by Jill Scott. If you like soul give is a try. It's got a good beat and the words, well they essentially say, it doesn't matter what I do you'll find fault with me, so go on, I just don't care about your opnions.

It's below. I like Superwoman by Alicia Keys too. Talk about motivation!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I could give you the world

On a silver platter

Would it even matter?

You’d still be mad at me

If I could find in all this

A dozen roses

Which I would give to you

You’d still be miserable

In reality, I’m gonna be who I be

And I don’t feel no faults

For all the lies that you bought

You can try as you may

Break me down but I say

That it ain’t up to you

Gone and do what you do

CHORUS

Hate on me, hater

Now or later

‘Coz I’m gonna do me

You’ll be mad, baby

Go ‘head and hate

Go ‘head and hate on me, hate on

‘Coz I’m not afraid of it

What I got I paid for

You can hate on me

Ooh, if I gave you peaches

Out of my own garden

And I made you a peach pie

Would you slap me high

What if I gave you diamonds

Out of my own womb

Would you feel the love in that,

Or ask “why not the moon”?

If I gave you sanity

For the whole of humanity,

Had all the solutions

For the pain and pollution

No matter where I live,

Despite the things I give,

You’ll always be this way

So go ‘head and….

You cannot hate on me

‘Cuz my mind is free

Feel my destiny

So shall it be

————————————————–

Hate On Me Lyrics - Jill Scott Song Words

Song Words by Artist / Band : Jill Scott

Lyrics Title : Hate On Me

Taken from Album : The Real Thing

Single Released : May 2007 (Airplay)

Music Genre : Soul, R&B, jazz, neo soul

(Song Data Information taken from : Wikipedia)

Sing their song, play their music and don't forget .... buy their single / album!

Congratulations on the 50lb. loss!!! I'll be so delighted when I get there!!!

Oh, and figure out who your supporters are and Celebrate with them. Leave MIL out of the loop.

I hope you glared at the teller. That's just not okay. EVER. "I beg your pardon" said icily is pretty good at letting someone know they crossed a line.

Sorry your feelings got hurt. That stinks.

Soon you'll be on here saying, "People only comment on my body, I'm more than the weight I lost! How can I make all the conversations stop?!" I'm just teasing but you are at the point where EVERYONE will start to notice.

XO.

I'm at a similar point in my weight loss. I haven't had and rude comments or gotten my feelings hurt. . .yet. But I do wonder sometimes why more people don't notice and comment. I feel so different and it feels like people should be gushing over me! LOL.

I think there are a couple of reasons for this. One is that I'm still wearing mostly the same clothes. They have gotten baggier, but they're still wearable, so that's what I am using. Once I'm in a new wardrobe that shows my body better, they may notice more. (Or not)

The other thing that is true at least for me, is that I am still a pretty big lady. So although I may be noticing all sorts of changes, I still may look like a fat person to many people. You know what, though? That's okay with me.

My close family and I are celebrating each fun milestone. "Look how jiggly Mommy's arms are now!" Being able to put their arms all the way around me and then some. My dh noticing as I walk by that I'm shrinking. These are the people who matter to me.

Not that I wouldn't probably cry if I had a day like you've had. I would. Those things do hurt. But take heart! You've reached an amazing milestone and we are all proud of you!

Melissa

Hey Mamato3,

You are great and you are doing great. People can be so insensitive. They need to STFU. Your mother-in-law sounds clueless and is coming from another era. I know how good it feels to have lost 25 lbs. so I can't imagine how great your feeling to have lost 50lbs. You go girl! Keep up the good work. Hold your head up and keep on keeping on! You deserve this victory, you've earned it.

Thankyou all very much for your positive comments. You are all right and in the future I plan on just focusing on the positive. Easier said then done, but I'll TRY!

Today is a new day! Another chance to make healthy food choices, get some exercise and take care of ME!

BTW.... I did NOT eat any donuts! That was a crazy thing to say or even think. I was having a pity party there for a few.... I'm all done now. LOL

Thanks for allowing me to vent.... I love this place!

Mama congrats on your loss!! That's great no matter what anyone says. The best thing for me is not to look for external validation. Of course its nice to hear how great we're looking from time to time we need to FEEL great about ourselves. This is what it seems you are doing - needing/looking for external validation. People always say inconsiderate things about others. If we are self-validated, then their comments won't effect us as much. You have accomplished a great thing! Wear a smile on your face (and own it!) no matter what others say. (ps I grew up with a mother who was well know to say inconsiderate things to me. She's much better now.)

MIL can be the worst. Mine is a B&%$#ch. For years I put up with her crap and about two years ago she verbally attacked me in my own home. I turned her out and she hasn't been back since. I remind my husband when it's her birthday, Mother's Day, etc., I give him her phone messages, I encourage him to go and visit her, but I told him to leave me out of it. He HAS to deal with her. I don't. So I don't take it anymore. I'm sorry you had to be on the receiving end of her cruelty and very bad manners. Jealousy is a very ugly sin.

I looked at your stats. You and I are about the same size, have both lost 50 lbs. and have a similar goal weight. So I know exactly where you are at. You have done a phenominal job!! Kudos to you. I know I have, and if someone is jealous of me, that's their problem not mine. The world is full of people with a total lack of couth and manners. Just pity them for not being raised properly. I didn't tell one soul at my job that I had this surgery. Just two weeks ago, I was asked to attend a luncheon for someone I didn't know. I protested, but this guy insisted. I was pretty puzzled. I took my lunch with me and figured I would just heat it up and sit on the edge and observe. I was there for about 5 minutes and this same guy announces that the honoree was having bypass surgery the next day (a luncheon??? He would be on liquids....idiots....). He then pulls me over to this person I don't even know and introduces us. He then announces to everyone that since I had surgery that I could help put his mind at ease about his surgery the next day. The room was dead silent, while everyone turned and stared. It was an invasion of my privacy and totally humiliating. I, like you, wanted to cry. I felt violated. I didn't say a word. I pulled the honoree over to the corner, told him I knew nothing about bypass as I had been banded. I was happy for him, and to feel proud that he was doing something good for his health and left. I locked myself in my office for the rest of the day. People are just rude. Pure and simple. I'm so sorry that they got the best of you. But I'll tell you this. I just felt sorry for them. And I DID NOT go out and eat donuts. I'm pretty stubborn. After I licked my wounds, I just got mad and re-established my resolve. Go get em tiger!!! Hang in there. We are all here for you. We know what you've been through. They are clueless. Ignore them. What matters is the people who love you. The sweet things they say and the pride on their faces so outweighs the negative crap from strangers and mean people. I happen to beleive in the law of karma. What goes around comes around, and eventually they will get theirs. Stay sweet and don't give up.

if mom-in-law isn't at her ideal weight, you could suggest she join you on working with you on the next 10 lbs or so. In one way it could be taken that she might not be as skinny as a super model. In another way, it could become a bonding experience if she does take a 10 lb challenege with you. You could exchange recipes and exercise together etc.

I'm lucky. I've got a great mom-in-law and dad-in-law.

As far as people having ugly things to say... Ignore them. Life is too short to worry about them or their opinions. At the end of day, all that matters is what you and God think. I think He would be and is pleased.

Great Job! I can't wait to loose 50 lbs!

Great job on the 50 lbs!! I agree with everyone else, turn those hurt feelings into motivation! I would leave MIL out of the celebration next time since she can't seems to muster up any sort of positive comments.

We'll always be here to celebrate with you!!

50 pounds is awesome . . . you have come along way!!! Don't let others tear you down, you know how hard you have worked to get to this point. Congratulations!!!!!

Perhaps you should do a little celebrating . . . maybe a pedicure or a party at the park with your family. :0)