Getting it off my chest
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Okay, so this has been eating at me for awhile so I decided to post about it. I have had several pm's regarding my weight ticker and my surgery date. I have tried to explain the best I can in the pm's but before I get another one I felt like I might as well post everything. So here it is..the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I lived in Portugal for 5 years. My husband is Portuguese and I moved there, married him, and we had a nice life there. It was in Portugal where I first heard about the lap-band. It was a spot on a local news station and my mother in law called me and asked me to turn it on. I was very excited and I decided to do research, and then by luck, a guy that I met on a PC forum from Portugal had also had the lap-band. We spoke about it and I decided I had to do it.
I have always been borderline obese and I just barely fit into the required BMI limits. My husband was totally against the whole thing and I have never had surgery before so it was taking a big risk. The cost was 8,000 euro, around $10,000 at the time. The surgeon was a very accomplished laproscopic surgeon but I was to be his 13th lap band patient. (no I'm not superstitious :smile:)
I had the surgery in April of '06, it was very hard to get in to see my doctor because he worked in between several hospitals. It took me almost 6 months to get my first fill. I was seeing a nutritionist that kept telling me what to eat and do (while she put out her cigarettes!). I told her I didn't like fish, she said it didn't matter I needed to force myself to eat it, among other things she said I had to eat. She told me I had to eat dinner around 6pm, even though I was teaching nights and it was impossible for me to eat then. I asked her to help me make a different schedule and she refused telling me it was impossible.
When I went in for my 2nd fill, 3 months after the first (it took me that long to get another apt.) I told my doctor how unhappy I was with the nutritionist. He sent me to another one that cost me 120 euro a visit. She was great, and I lost 25lbs during that time, but I couldn't afford to keep seeing her.
I went for my third fill, 3 months later(again) and thats when the doc told me that my port was flipped, I needed port revision surgery. During the port revision surgery he put 3cc's directly into the band.
I was struggling a lot to lose weight and I tried to keep up with what my nutritionist told me, but I got depressed, the port revision caused another nasty scar (over the old one that had healed so nicely) and I developed a nasty reaction to the bandages.
It was also very difficult because I told my husbands family (if I had it to do over again I would have never told any one) They kept looking me up and down all the time looking to see how much I lost. It was very disheartening. So when circumstances in our lives changed and we decided to move back to the US I was excited to see a new band doctor.
I never really thought I felt restriction, but then again I was never sure what was restriction any way. When I got here to the US, I made an apt. with a Fill Center USA in St. Pete. The fill specialist there was excellent. She told me that my port was on it's side, not completely flipped (I broke out in tears in her office thinking I might have to have another port revision) but she managed to hit it with my on my side. She pulled out all the liquid in my band. My doctor in Portugal said I had 9cc's in my band and that I was totally full. Turned out I had just under 3cc's.
The fill specialist asked me when I actually felt restriction and I said the only time I could really remember feeling any thing was after the port revision, when he put the fill directly into the port (when it was sticking out of my stomach when he opened me up to turn it right). She gave me another 1.5cc and told me to come back in a month, when I got back I had 4.5cc so she determined that there was no leakage, the my doctor in Portugal had simply missed my port.
So, taken all this into consideration I have only actually had some restriction since this summer when I moved back here. So I have actually gained back the original weight loss I had over the year that I had no restriction, and I am now struggling to start losing again.
I actually have another apt. in 2 weeks for another fill. I had my first PB a few weeks ago. I am experiencing things as if I was just banded. I am not saying that is the whole reason I have not lost weight, I haven't followed all the band rules as closely as I should have. I honestly have no excuse for it, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Nor does it make me a failure.
Several times I wish I could rip this band out of me and eat whatever I felt like. But I am trying, trying the best I can. And I hope that with the support I receive here, and my own will power, I can make this band work for me...finally.
umm...sorry so long.:wink: