Hi Everyone,

Everyday I change my mind on whether I'm going to do this or not. I'm sort of a obsesser anyway, but I am driving my self batty on this one.

I'm 47, 5'6", 225 lbs., BMI 36. I have no health issues from my weight, other than aching feet. (I'm sure the arthritis in my knees from years of playing sports would be better if they were'nt having to carry around this weight) I take no medicine, and live a pretty active life. I hate being out of breath, not being able to wear decent looking clothes, and eating out of control. I hate being fat.

I'm so scared about how much my life will change with this surgery. I can count on one hand how many times I've had heartburn or reflux, and I don't want problems like that. I know that some of you have real difficult medical issues to deal with, and may think I am really being a baby, but I don't want to create problems I don't have. I also know that my weight may catch up to me as I get older. Just because I'm reasonably healthy now, doesn't mean I will always be.

I think eating is supposed to be an enjoyable part of life. Obviously not in the manner I have over the last 20 years, but I do like to go out to dinner and indulge in a variety of foods. I can give up fast food and Desserts in a second, but I can't imagine never eating bread or Pasta again, or having to chew a piece of chicken until it's mush. I hear that banders have issues with a lot of foods like these. I like the idea of eating MUCH smaller portions; that's what I want. But when I hear people saying that they only spend $30 a month on groceries now, and hardly ever eat out, that doesn't sound like living.

Am I overthinking all of this? Please someone respond and tell me what their life is really like now. What do you eat on a normal day? Do you enjoy food still, or is it just something you do? Do you eat the same few things everyday? Can you go out to a nice restaurant? Do you have extra heartburn, reflux, or other stomach issues that you didn't have before?

Long post I know, but I really need to hear the straight story from all of you, and not just the people at the seminars who are trying to sell a product.

Thanks for listening. :regular_smile:

Hi, you asked some good questions and your concerns are all things we all think about and need to be addressed. You are right to consider all these things. I have only been banded since October 26,2007 and am not really all the way to total restriction so I am not an expert. But I will tell you that the 'food yearning' issues I was so concerned about have not been nearly as bad as I feared. I can eat pretty much everything - including bread. You do have to eat slowly, take small bites and chew stuff until it is mushy, but really that is how we all should be eating anyway. Watch a skinny person sometime and I guarantee you they will be eating more that way than a fat person! Another thing I want to point out to you is that there seem to be a lot of people on this sight who I think (this is just my opinion) are too tight and too restricted and overfilled. The purpose of the band is to lose approximately 5-10 pounds per month. You can easily do that by keeping your caloric intake around 1000 calories. I see people on this sight all the time who are eating 500 or 600 calories. There is a thread on here for posting your daily food journal and if you read some of them they look like a food journal for a hamster. In my pre-op education I was told that I should be able to eat approximately 1/2 of what I used to eat. That really isn't that little. That is what most of my skinny friends eat when we go out. The reason I decided to have LB instead of GB surgery was because I do love food so much. With the lap band you can enjoy food still. Please don't let that be the reason you decide not to have the surgery. As you read posts on this board, remember that there are a lot of different people on here and we are all different and go to different doctors. I plan on only getting as much restriction as I absolutely need to continue to lose a safe amount of weight and still enjoy food. I agree with you that food is one of life's great joys and it is not wrong to enjoy it. If I wanted to lose 20 pounds a month I would have had gastric bypass. The other real factor that led me to the surgery was thinking about life AFTER I reach my goal (and now I really believe for the first time I will reach it!!!) The band will allow me to stay at my goal weight and not be constantly worrying about regaining all my weight. The band will always be there and will always be my special tool to help me stay on track. How loose or tight it stays will be up to me and me alone!

Sorry, it's me again... Forgot something...

You also need to remember that although you are eating a smaller amount of food you feel as if you ate a big portion and feel satisfied until your next meal - that is what was missing for me pre-band. I could eat a good sized meal then feel hungry again before the next one and feel like snacking constantly. I don't snack at all now because I don't feel like it.

Hourly is about how often I change my mind too. I think it is normal to be scared about the unknown. I have NEVER been one to do something this drastic without checking everything. I am a control freak, and I think the big issue is that I don't have control over how this will go for me. Believe me, I would stick to the program as directed because I am a rule follower. I think it's hard for those of us who are not already banded, and a few months down the road, to even imagine how it feels and effects your everyday life. Bear with us banders, because we are trying to figure this all out!

I just read a post by a doctor that was banded several months ago. He has lost a good deal of weight, but when he talked about his recent Thanksgiving meal I thought I was going to cry. Several dime size portions of food because he wanted to try everything Ok, I'm going to be honest. That sounds horrible. Dime size!! I don't want to eat the full platefull and seconds anymore, but that amount doesn't even sound healthy!

Thanks Shortgal for your reply.

Honestly, I would do anything to be thin. I have wanted to be thin for the past 8 years. Healthier and thinner is definately more important than missing out on foods. I can't put it in words, i am just scared. I was told that I could everything that i want just in smaller portions. I am okay with that. I love chips, ice cream and chocolate...even that i can handle having once in a blue moon...is that acceptable? I freaked out so much before i gave birth to my son...especially because i am afraid of needles but it was fine so I am hoping for the same thing here if I decide to go through with the lap band.

My eye is on the end result...i want to be thin.

what have you been eating? i noticed that you got banded end of november.

Though i have been practicing chewing my food a lot in the past couple of days...at every meal, i keep telling myself next one i won't drink with but haven't done it yet...will try tomorrow. As i was putting my son to sleep tonight, i decided that I will try to cut my food in half for the next week and see if that will make a difference. I have an appointment on friday at 11 the second doctor.

As for eating out....i don't know but if i feel fuller, i won't continue eating right? so i will have food for the next few days???lol. Can i not eat out as much? what if i eat healthier food? besides i will be eating less right? sorry for sooo much questions...i just want to ask others going through this.

How have you been doing? 26 pounds that's great!!!!!

Well if you're willing to do anything to be thin and healthy then that's your answer. I would work on giving up the carbonated sodas.

Chips, ice cream and chocolate are band friendly ( which can be a bad thing). Band friendly means they go through the pouch easily and won;t fill you as easy as other foods, so it's possible to overeat those foods.

Since being banded, I've had two small pieces of chocolate (over x-mas) and a few potato chips, no ice cream yet and no pizza.

Yes, you can eat out in restaurants and you might want to just order an appetizer instead of a meal sometimes.

Not EVERYONE can eat EVERY FOOD. Some people can't tolerate beef or bread. Some fibrous veggies are difficult for some people. Some people can eat bread if it's toasted. You just wont know until you get there. Remember some of these foods might go down when you are first banded, but as they fill the band to tighten it to fit YOUR stomach and restrict your quantity of food, some foods might be harder to get down.

Things like Soup are tricky because it's liquid it goes through your band, does not stay in your pouch to keep you feeling full.

So far I am still able to eat chicken and beef. I have had a little bread, but stick more to the crust, I've also had popcorn and nuts. I eat fish, cooked veggies, chicken, beef, turkey meatloaf, yogurt, Cereal, oatmeal, lean cuisines, eggs, salad.

Each time I get a fill and get closer to a good level of restriction, I must slowly try foods that I could eat before, to see if my tightened band will tolerate them.

Each person also has a level or tightness that works for them. One person might like to be tighter, which might mean many foods don't go down well and another person is ok with a looser restriction. We each find our own personal level of restriction.

I just had a fill, so the next few weeks will tell me if I reached a good level of restriction that works for me.

I highly recommend you read the threads on the forum about "how fills work" by Wendell, it explains the process very well and was very helpful to me.

Or discuss with your surgeon the fill process, so you don;t get discouraged while waiting for good restriction.

I'm a slow loser ( always was) but for me this 26 pounds is unbelievable. I am two pounds away from the lowest weight I've been in over 20 years!

I know it will be a long road to get this weight off and I know I'll have to work with my band to keep it off.

If you lose the weight and pick up your bad habits of drinking with meals, you could start gaining weight back. Our brains are smart and our need to eat is strong, we can figure out ways to beat our band, if we're not careful.

KBINAZ......

I posted my last comment before I read yours. Can I say that your response is the BEST thing i have read on this web-site regarding my food concerns. It's not that I wanted someone to tell me what I wanted to hear, but you sound like you are approaching this in exactly the right way. I don't know anything about what it feels like to be banded, but i felt like some people were trying to do too much too fast to. I was just thinking today that maybe I would try to work with my surgeon to do this at a slow steady pace. I think most of the problems I hear about, and that scare me, are from people that are too filled.

I am not trying to offend anyone here. Everyone is different, but I was wondering if everything had to be so drastic. I am going to be 100% honest by saying that if I need to eat 6 dime size pieces of food for dinner, this will not work for me. Way less than I currently eat for dinner sounds great, but my daughter's hamster eats more than that!!

By the way KBINAZ, do you live in Arizona? I live in Gilbert. I'm considering either True Results in Scottsdale, or Dr. DeBarros in Tempe.

Totally agree with kbinaz. I don;t want to be so restricted that everything comes up, but some people are much more comfortable being tight, so they won;t cheat. We each have our own personal level of how much help we need from the band.

Regarding low calorie intake: There are days my calories are low, but those are days when I get a fill and I'm on liquids. If I have a low calorie day,it's usually b/c I'm not that hungry. We all need a different calorie level based on our age, level of activiity etc. 1000 a day might be right for me, but if you're younger and more active you might need 1200 or 1400 calories.

Hello, Yes you are over thinking this whole thing...don't get me wrong..its a huge choice in your life...but..everyone is different. I have no problem at all with any breads or rice or pasta. And you won't have to chew your chicken till its mush...yes, you'll have to chew it more then before. But, before surgery you or I probably never chewed our food at all. We just shoveled it in our mouths. You will just have to be more aware of what your eating and how your eating it. You will be "afraid" of trying things at first...like I havent had pizza or Chinese food since surgery Oct. 24th 2007...I afraid I either will puke it up or it will go down just fine and I won't be able to stop eating it. But to tell you the truth....either way, I dont want to find out. You came to the right site and just keep reseaching it and talking to people about it....you'll figure it out!!!! Good Luck

I am still in the research stage. I have been doing a lot of reading including this forum. I am attending a couple of seminars this next week. I wonder about how to deal with the afterlife as well. Can you eat veggies and things that cause gas or will that cause complications such as slippage? I like beans and broccoli and cucumbers and green peppers and all cause gas. Does anyone have any info on the gas factor? I wish I could do this without surgery too but I am convinced that I cannot. I have read a lot more positive than negative but I still feel quite a bit of fear at times. I am still pretty sure I am going to do it. I send you much luck in your decision. Know that you are not alone in the flip flopping.

WOW :glare:

I really appreciate all you people out there expressing your fears and concerns. I actually think it's healthy to get all this stuff out. I know that in the end, I will probably get this done, but I love hearing from all the people that are still trying to decide, as well as those of you who have made the leap.

If I close my eyes, I can see myself in a cute size 10 outfit. I would be happy with that!

Hi, you asked some good questions and your concerns are all things we all think about and need to be addressed. You are right to consider all these things. I have only been banded since October 26,2007 and am not really all the way to total restriction so I am not an expert. But I will tell you that the 'food yearning' issues I was so concerned about have not been nearly as bad as I feared. I can eat pretty much everything - including bread. You do have to eat slowly, take small bites and chew stuff until it is mushy, but really that is how we all should be eating anyway. Watch a skinny person sometime and I guarantee you they will be eating more that way than a fat person! Another thing I want to point out to you is that there seem to be a lot of people on this sight who I think (this is just my opinion) are too tight and too restricted and overfilled. The purpose of the band is to lose approximately 5-10 pounds per month. You can easily do that by keeping your caloric intake around 1000 calories. I see people on this sight all the time who are eating 500 or 600 calories. There is a thread on here for posting your daily food journal and if you read some of them they look like a food journal for a hamster. In my pre-op education I was told that I should be able to eat approximately 1/2 of what I used to eat. That really isn't that little. That is what most of my skinny friends eat when we go out. The reason I decided to have LB instead of GB surgery was because I do love food so much. With the lap band you can enjoy food still. Please don't let that be the reason you decide not to have the surgery. As you read posts on this board, remember that there are a lot of different people on here and we are all different and go to different doctors. I plan on only getting as much restriction as I absolutely need to continue to lose a safe amount of weight and still enjoy food. I agree with you that food is one of life's great joys and it is not wrong to enjoy it. If I wanted to lose 20 pounds a month I would have had gastric bypass. The other real factor that led me to the surgery was thinking about life AFTER I reach my goal (and now I really believe for the first time I will reach it!!!) The band will allow me to stay at my goal weight and not be constantly worrying about regaining all my weight. The band will always be there and will always be my special tool to help me stay on track. How loose or tight it stays will be up to me and me alone!

Thanks for your incredibly sane and well-thought-out response. Everyone considering surgery should have to read your post.

Well said West Coast Fat Guy...

I'm going to print out her response and take it with me to my doctor. This is what I want and need!!

I live in mesa and am going thru true results in scottsdale, I am self pay..i have my consult on the 13th, and possibly surgery 2 weeks after that.

I filp flopped too for a day or so and then now, I get that "what am I doing" feeling every couple days now, I am UNHEALTHY and will die SOON if I don't do this

Once I got that thru my fat head, I think I am at peace now, good luck with whatever you decide..

I was banded on September 28, 2007 and had a lot of the same thoughts as you. Now that I am 4.5 months into it I would have not changed my mind for anything.

It is definitely a personal decision, but I researched everything out before hand and am so glad I did it. As a matter of fact my husband is getting ready to do it soon as our insurance just approved him.

Yes I still eat out once in a while. A lot of fast food restaurants do not have options for you to eat, but if I go to Wendy's I will have chili or something like that. I have not eaten any bread, rice or Pasta since before surgery but I guess you get used to it. I eat a lot of homemade Soups now and fish which we did not really eat before.

I feel 100 times better and am really liking the way I look. It was a great decision for me and I am not sick at all. As far as he reflux I had it terrible before and was on the prescription Protonix. I am now off that medicaiton and have no reflux problems at all.

Good luck with your decision.

I read about a friend's story on another forum I was on at the time. At first I was against this idea for me. 8 months later I changed my mind. I tried a couple of diets in that time and basically ended up bigger than I started. I'm 40, 4'11 or 5' (depending when I measure) and I don't know my weight in pounds, but my BMI is 45 so you can tell I'm not a small girl by any means, just a short one.

I immediately took out health insurance and have to wait 12 months before they will pay for the op. That was October. In that time I've changed my mind, come back to banding then questioned if I should have some other surgery. I'm well known in my family for having a fluxuating mind!

I am going ahead with the band. Surgery doesn't bother me. I've had my gall bladder out about 7 years ago and it was done through the same procedure as this one, so I know I'll be fine with that. What does concern me is the permanent change other methods make. At least with the band if something goes wrong it can be taken out and I'm basically back where I started.

I don't for one minute consider myself not 'normal'. With obesity on the rise and more than 50% of people in my country being at least overweight, hey, I'm the normal one! I'm in the majority. Its just that the entertainment industry shoves skinny people down our through that we feel like lepers.

I'm going ahead with the operation. I need the assistance of a little plastic band to help me to know when to stop eating. Fine. Some people need body parts to help them live a normal life. I need this instead. No big deal. If my eating habits have to change, then good, they aren't doing me a world of good now!

As for complications, one of the biggest factors for a successful outcome is your state of mind when you go in. Being positive won't stop a complication if its going to happen, but it doesn't cause them either. I plan on being extremely positive about the whole process.

Michelle

Hi Kbnaz

Thanks for your replies.

It's so good to hear that the 'food yearning' issues have not been so bad...again reading all this... i can't imagine my life without bread, past and potatos...and i feel horrible saying it...just makes me feel hopeless, that there is actually nothing that will work for me.

I have been trying to eat slowly and taking small bites...so i think tha'ts something i can get used to.

As for being too tight and too restricted and overfilled- I am still not there in understanding all that...i just thought that my doctor would tell me what's appropriate...or i will keep reading on that.

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS..."

You also need to remember that although you are eating a smaller amount of food you feel as if you ate a big portion and feel satisfied until your next meal - that is what was missing for me pre-band. I could eat a good sized meal then feel hungry again before the next one and feel like snacking constantly. I don't snack at all now because I don't feel like it."

Before i read this message, i was thinking i really would try to eat half of what i eat now....but then i wasn't thinking that i won't feel full and will want to snack. This just might have been the push i needed.

I think i have a concern for every stage: (1) i am afraid of the surgery itself and of needles; (2) i am afraid of how i will feel afterwards...soups???i don't consider Soup food...lol...just a starter...i hate throwing up with a passion, what if i can't do what i do now everyday...like carrying my son, sleeping on my side or my stomach...what about sex (excuse the honesty) i mean what if i make a wrong move...needles to make changes???? sorry for a lot of whinning!!!