WestCoastFatGuy

You know what? I admit that I came across harsh on my first message.. but I layed out my heart and soul on the second. For someone to say that I "tell it like it is" for "HIMself" only.. is patently offensive. For your information, I sent a PM to Brandy and shared with her how sorry I am if I have hurt her from my post. Brandy has a VERY unique set of circumstances that MOST, if not ALMOST ALL, lapbanders will never encounter. I won't share with you what she shared with me as it is her personal choice if she chooses to do so on an open forum.
Here's the the straight up reality.. whether you like it or not or BJ (who told me to "zip it" likes it or not).... Brandy brings to the table a huge huge set of almost insurmountable circumstances to her experience with the band. Her courage to even get the band in the first place... is sooooo amazing to me. She chose to fight through almost impossible odds to be successful with the band. Unfortunately, there are many many many MANY people (I don't know if you are one of those people or not... only you can look inside and know) who will look on the surface of her experience with the band and say "The band isn't working for me"... "I'm able to eat around my band"... "I don't feel full after I eat"... blah blah blah. You know what????!!!??? I DON'T FEEL FULL AFTER I EAT EITHER! I've had ONE fill and it CERTAINLY hasn't taken me ANYWHERE NEAR my sweet spot! But I KNEW from all my research and ESPECIALLY at lapbandtalk.com... that that might be the situation that I would face. But people like wasabubblebut and my dear dear lapband friend gilliebean have kept me going.
I WISH my lapband would give me the flashing light that I AM FULL! I WISH my lapband would keep me from wanting to eat things that are bad for me! I WISH my lapband would make me feel better about myself when I crave things I shouldn't have! But you know what? DO YOU?!? I LISTENED when others on the boards told me that life with the lapband wasn't easy. I LISTENED when they told me that the band MAY NOT provide the blessed restriction that I sought! I LISTENED and I ACCEPTED that my lapband couldn't provide my the salvation that I interally sought.
I am very very very aware that there are a select few people like the very sincere Brandy II who decided to go with the band against impossible odds. Those people are forever in my heart and my prayers that hopefully their band will start to work for them. Unfortunately, there are tooooo tooo toooo MANY banders who try to say to themselves that THEY are in the SAME situation as Brandy II and LIE to themselves. They THINK because they self-payed thousands of dollars that that PROVES that they were dedicated to working their band. I'm sorry... but it just doesn't. Maybe I will fail even more tomorrow than I did last week. Maybe I won't lose everything I hope to with my band. But that doesn't mean that the band failed ME! I DON'T have all the pre-existing symptoms that Brandy II has to deal with. And MOST don't! In fact, MOST surgeons wouldn't have banded Brandy II in the first place. But her surgeon chose to take a chance and to give her a chance to try to make it work. I hope and pray, as she does, that it does eventually work. But don't you DARE put me down and say that I am ONLY speaking for myself! You have crossed the line.... and WHOEVER flames me for this has CLEARLY not read my past posts (which are numerous) or HAVE ANY IDEA of who I am!
I am not a HARD*SS! I am probably the most compassionate person you'll ever meet! I nursed my dying father ALONE from the time I was 14 until he died when I was 18... wondering everyday if that day (or night) was going to be his last. Wondering in my heart if he would ever even be able to see my graduate from High School. Bolting straight up from a dead sleep to his cries in the night that he couldn't breathe. That his heart was racing... that he needed nitro-gylcerin... or needed his oxygen machine cranked up.. or needed his breathing line drained because the condensation was making him feel as though he was drowining. I KNOW what pain is! I KNOW what sacrifice is! Nursing one my dearest friends in the world from the day he was diagnosed with HIV until his eventual painful haunting death of AIDS... looking at his dead body in his bed knowing that I could no longer do ANYTHING to bring him back... to give him one more day... to hold him and hug and him and tell him one more time that he was loved by me and soooo many other people.
I ALSO know what it is to latch onto someone else's completely-justifiable pain at not achieving success and convincing yourself that you are experiencing the same thing when you haven't actually experienced an IOTA of their REAL pain and agony.
I don't know your story... and I'm not trying to judge you.. but don't you DARE judge ME! You don't KNOW the pain I've gone through and you don't KNOW the sacrifices I'VE made to get where I am.
Brandy II and all the others experiencing the same agonizing pain and hurt.... I think about you and pray for you daily. NOONE deserves what you have felt and what you are going through. I would do ANYTHING to take away your pain. Because I don't have that power.. I can only say.. that I will stand by you through thick and thin. Success or not.... to remind you that YOU are INCREDIBLE. That YOU are WORTH IT. Even if you NEVER lose a pound or you GAIN another 100 pounds... you are STILL AMAZING people and NO ONE (including me) should EVER try to make you feel LESS that that!

Alright, let me be the honest jack*ss and comes out to say exactly what so many on these boards are feeling and don't say because they are too nice or don't want to cause controversy:
Is it possible that the band isn't working because of an underlying medical issue? ABSOLUTELY! Is it very likely that the medical issue would have been uncovered BEFORE one resorted to the extreme measure of having SURGERY to install a BAND AROUND ONE'S STOMACH!?! Also, ABSOLUTELY! Is it possible that the medical condition that is causing one to not lose weight started AFTER the installation of the band? Possible? YES! LIKELY? NO! So... when someone comes on these boards complaining about how the band has failed them but they have been unable to uncover any medical reason for it... it is completely understandable that people would start asking questions about diet and exercise and drinking with meals, etc.
Here's the reality, folks. All us fatties have to face it (despite plateaus that may last for months)... that CALORIES IN MINUS CALORIES BURNED = NET CALORIC INTAKE. If we consume more than 3500 calories (net intake)... we're going to gain a pound or more of weight. Can we sometimes have stalls... and Water weight issues and complications that cause long long long plateaus? YES! Can we blame the band for them?!? Heck NO! We had them before the band and we'll have them with the band! Yo-Yo dieting is the one major item in our fat gaining/losing history that we all have to face will contribute to plateaus. It doesn't seem fair... but it's our burden to bear. We have to live with it. We can fight it with or without the band... but, personally, I'd rather do it WITH my band.
For those people who come on these boards and tell us that they went into this surgery expecting the band to STOP them from overeating... or STOP them from eating the wrong things?!?... I have to say... girlfriend... boyfriend... honey-child... You didn't do your freakin' research! So who the heck is to blame for that?!? If your surgeon told you otherwise... then you were STUPID to have believed him or her. There are dozens and dozens of lapband resources on the web (including this wonderful site) that would have told you otherwise.
I'm sorry if I have offended or hurt you.. but the reality has to be spelled out to all of us one day or another. I was (and still am) a fat freakin' slob who would rather sit his fat *ss on the couch and watch TV with a 2-liter of Coca-Cola and a platter of enchiladas than to have to watch my intake of foods and to give up carbonated beverages. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE (get my point?) soda and other carbonated drinks! They were my solace... my lifeblood... my rock... my anchor.. my friend and lover. Coca-Cola was, in my old mind, created just for me. I would date its ugly step-sisters... Pepsi and Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper occasionally... but my steady-friend was the red and white miracle of Coca-Cola. I probably ingested 5000 or more calories weekly just in my sweet bubbly lover. But... NOW? My band (and scars) remind me that soda helped to get me where I am and that I have to remember that and live with the realization that it can no longer provide me comfort when I am down. An occasional slushy coke (from my slushmug) that removes all the carbonation and has only 8-ounces and 100 calories? Sure. but to go back to what I used to consume? NEVER! The same applies to french fries and pizza and and and and and and.... two dozen other yummy high calorie items.
Can I consume those things and then come here and complain that my band isn't working for me? NO! I need to to wake up and smell the calories! Maybe if I couldn't get control of these food and beverage items I would have to seek counseling.. or a revision to another form of bariatric surgery. But that wouldn't be the fault of the band... that would be all of my own doing. I would have to accept responsiblity for my band failure and I wouldn't expect others to give me comfort and solace and understanding and praise for doing so.
With all that said... I only hope and pray that your band can start to align itself with your mind and metabolism (as it has with mine) so that you can begin to experience in your heart and mind the wonderful feeling of success! I would never wish you anything but that!

I have my own business and work in the field of Clinical Trials for cancer. I routinely take doctors and their staff out to lunch/dinners. I have told them ALL (also my friends) about the surgery and they have been nothing but supportive. None of them have been judgmental and they have given me more encouragement than I ever could have imagined.
Sure, I may run into someone that thinks that this is the "easy way out"... but to be truthful.. before I knew what the lapband was all about, I thought the same thing. How can I judge them for having the same thoughts as I once did?
All in all, I can't imagine doing this "in the dark". My support system has been incredible and I really don't know what I would do without them.
Put your faith in those around you and they will feel your faith and confidence. Doubt them and they will feel your doubts. You have made an incredible commitment by choosing the lapband. You DESERVE to have people respect you for it!
All my best to you on your lapband journey!