Donali inspired me to start this new thread. She has been providing information to us regarding Morbid Obesity being a disease, which is a very powerful topic for all of us.

Lately I've been discovering that there are many different categories that we fit in, so I was wondering what category you are in. I don't have labels for the categories, but let me start by telling you why I am obese.

First, my family history includes severe mental illness (Mom, aunt, etc.) I inherited a branch of mental illness - Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which had me extremely ill in my youth. My panic attacks have been under control for years, but I still have many anxiety-related problems, one being that I never stop thinking, and at night, the thoughts are consumed by food. Part of the reason I'm obese is becaseu I can't fight the mental struggle to eat for long periods of time. That part of my brain is stronger than the sensible part.

But my biggest problem is portion control. I'm obsessed by enormous quantities of food. I simply don't understand how anyone could order just one taco, or have a small serving of anything. With me, it's all or nothing. I would rather fast all day than to eat one chicken thigh. It's torture. A half gallon of ice cream is two servings. A family dinner is two servings.

And mine is all a night time disorder. Someone baked us fresh Cookies, all warm and steamy, and I didn't even look at them. I don't give a damn about food during the day. I feel like a monster.

I've lost 60 pounds since being banded a year ago, and only had about ten pounds to go. I got into a bad habit of snacking after work, and realized that my pants were getting tight! Sure enough, I had GAINED over 10 pounds! So this is what I did. I bought six four-pound bags of sugar, and sat them next to the sofa where I watch tv. You wouldn't BELIEVE how heavy four-pound bags of sugar are! I would have to say that I'm about 90% better with my snacking now. Ten pounds just doesn't seem like a lot when you've been so overweight - I was absolutely horrified to realize how heavy they were!

Eileen

bags of sugar...got it.....

will keep that one written down in the books for future usage...!!

Excellent job on the loss!

I was 105# when I got pregnant with my son in January 1991, at 7 and a half months I was 115#, 6 weeks later I delivered him i was 197# I gained it so fast that I never lost it.

Short and sweet. I am freakin' fat because I cannot stop eating. I have never known a true full feeling.

I am fat because I am addicted to food. I was always the person that people said "There is no way that you can weigh that much... you never eat and exercise all them time." They were right, I did exercise a lot and never ate very much in front of them. Instead it was the 3 supersized meals from McDonalds that I would eat BEFORE going out with any one, the dozen doughnuts I would hide under the bed, the bag of cookies under my car seat, the snickers bars in the bottom drawer of my dresser. If I was at a party, I would take food and hide it and go to the bathroom to eat it. (I know disgusting!) It started when I was very young (8 or 9) Just before going to bed, I would grab as much food out of the kitchen as possible and sneak it off to my room. I would eat whole boxes of little debbie snacks before I went to bed. No one would miss them at home either because unless it was full of sugar and fat, it was not in our house. I don't think my mom believed in vegetables. Probably why she died at the age of 53 from a major heart attack weighing over 350 pounds. Since having my band, I have not snuck one piece of food, and if possible only eat in front of others. I just don't want to get in the habit of eating by myself and hiding food. It is amazing how fast the weight will come off (and how much money you save) when you aren't buying enough food for 3 people to eat!

I would get skinny/sexy/beautiful and go shove it in those boys faces! :heh:

I would get skinny/sexy/beautiful and go shove it in those boys faces! :heh:

LOL That is a very good idea!! Once that happened, I would probably have to tell them who I was or they wouldn't recognize me!!

I wasnt always over weight, when I was younger I was actually really athletic. I think gaining all the weight I did was more of a form of protection for me because of things I experienced in my life. My mother used heroin when I was younger and she was always so out of it she didnt notice the things that were going on around her. So her boyfriend molested me and my sister for about 7 years before they broke up. Then in high school I was almost raped in a taco bell bathroom by a guy I knew from school. I kicked him in the nuts and ran for it after he ripped my clothing. But it was all tramatic for me and I think I gained weight because I didnt want to be attractive to men. I have had alot of theropy so this is why i can come to these conclusions. I also have alot of sex issues (I dont like it). Food became my love, support, and protection anyway I hope thats not TMI.

I think that it's awesome Gummiebear that you can just say it. There is power in truth. In fact, your weight has probably served you well in some regards but it's turned on you and you are ready to let go of it now.

Wow...this is a fabulous thread! I actually had to go over this question with my PCP when I went to her for a recommendation letter for my bariatric doc.

I think the main reason I'm fat is because I medicate myself with food. I am an extreme emotional eater. Unfortunately, this includes ANY emotion....like depression, sadness, happy, joyful, boredom, etc. It's not good when you Celebrate and console yourself with food.

I also think that I have some real issues about being afraid of not having enough food. For instance, if my pantry or my bank account gets below a certain point, I truly panic.

I believe this is because I lived through a time, after my parents divorced, when we were very poor. I remember that we would eat butter on crackers because we had nothing else. We also lived off of Vienna Sausages & Tuna (which was waaayyy less expensive then). It was always a real celebration when my mom would get paid and we could have something different to eat.

*sigh* Kind of sad, isn't it? I know I'm not the only one who has this experience or problem. I also have no clue how to deal with it or fix it. Any suggestions?

I have a general suggestion. Keep a diary and try your best to answer the following questions each day. After several weeks, it will become apparent they you need to take action to change things.

What have I learned about myself?<O:p</O:p

What have I done differently?<O:p</O:p

What knowledge or tools did I use to change my behaviour?<O:p</O:p

What was the outcome of my changed behaviour?<O:p</O:p

What did I do that was fun, relaxing and pleasant?<O:p</O:p

What physical activities did I participate in?<O:p</O:p

What thoughts have I had that enhance or hinder my well-being?<O:p</O:p

What feelings have I experienced and how did I express them?<O:p</O:p

What progress have I experienced in my overall well-being?

Good suggestion

I think I just might try that. I am not banded yet, but I know I will still have to deal with all of my issues afterwards. I know that it won't just go away...the head hunger.

Thanks

Like many others, I love food! I like everything. As a child I was given food as a reward and carried that into adulthood. I always felt it wasn't fair that others could eat all the foods I wanted and not have the same weight problems, so I just ate what I wanted and didn't address the problem except occassionally. I take full responsibility for not addressing my weight earlier in my life.

But, I also had a verbally abusive father who destroyed my self esteem, making it so so easy to defeat myself controlling my weight. Add that to a very slow metabolism and I've been defeating myself for many many years.

The "bounce back" weight gains were always more than I lost, making me heavier and heavier.

At age 64, I have finally realized that I can do it and that I must do it. I am learning that the treadmill is my friend, not something to be loathed. I am also learning that I can get along very well with much smaller portions. I've lost 26 lbs. pre-surgery while eating out and having most of the foods I love...just in moderation and smaller quantities.

My surgery date is 1/17/2008 and I am maintaining/still losing on my pre-surgery diet. I'm headed to a healthier me, albeit somewhat late in life. If this old lady can do it, anybody can!

BobbiG

Why am I fat?

Because I have a love/hate relationship with food. I hate to love it and love to hate it. I love all food, healthy food, unhealthy food, bad food, good food, low-fat food, high-fat food. I love it all and deep down I have this fear that if I don't eat it all NOW, it won't be there when I come back and want/need some more. I could eat tiny portions (before being banded) to the point where people wondered why I was eating so little and what was 'wrong' with me, to portions so huge I absolutely ache and feel physically ill from eating so much.

If it was possible to just take a pill and never have to eat again, I'd do it. After all, alcoholics aren't forced to have a drink 3x a day to stay alive!

Addiction, compulsion, whatever you want to call it, I've got it. I'm hoping the band (and my next <2nd> fill) will help me find my "sweet spot". Every day is a challenge and a struggle which I will have for the rest of my life.

Mostly I'm fat because I eat too much.

I know, simple answer. The point is we all have different burdens, genitics - eating for stress, etc. Not sure it matters "why", the question is what do you want to do about it?. For me that's a lapband (tomorrow!)