Okay, has anyone out there ever felt afraid of being thin? I know its a weird question, but I was thinking about it the other night. I am doing all my pre-band drs appts after finally making the decision to have WLS. I've struggled with my weight ALL of my life, and at the age of 34 and facing a lot of family hereditary health issues and lots of risk factors for developing them....its time for me to do something, but being heavy all my life, I don't know what life is like being skinny and its something that scares me. I think I am scared of failing even with WLS becuase of so many failures in the past. I think the last time I can remember being "skinny" was like 8 or 9 yrs old and since then its been a long battle against weight.

Anyone else feel the same way? I guess just have butterflies now that I've made the decision and don't want to fail at this one last time.

teebutterfly:help:

ABSOLUTELY!

I have lost almost 100 pounds, and I had my surgery in April. I have, and will have, issues to deal with like this... at 73 pounds lost, I started doing things like, making chocolate pecan pie at 9pm. I was "afraid" of a 75 pound lost mark. I know that means I am 75 pounds healthier... but, issues pop up. Now I am almost 100 pounds down, and thought I could make it by Christmas... one pound to go, (Christmas eve)and I found myself at IHOP, 5:30 am eating banana pancakes. Self sabotage... I am aware of it, but that alone does not make it go away. I am, and will continue to be, successful. One day at a time, and not every single day. Good luck and great health to you. Kimberly

hello my name is shelly i too have felt some of the things you have. but i took the risk anyway and had it done and i feel better about myself. I dont think its more that i feel scared of being thin though I feel scared of mentally being different towards people i love after i lose the weight. I mean i fell in love with my fiance being heavy is that gonna change when i lose the weight, will i see a new horizon of opportunies out there, one never knows . I got this surgery cause of heath issues, but mentally being picked on all my life because of my weight and not fitting in anywhere to losing all the weight and fitting into society. One will never know just take one day at a time. everyone is different and thinks different. you do what your heart tells you and you will go down the path god choses you to. i hope this helped ! :nervous

Yes. I have lost 100 lbs and am currently 40 lbs from goal. My goal is 185. My real goal should be 165 but I am really scared of that number because it is so difficult to maintain. So yes, I am scared of getting too thin because I usually rebound. Does that make sense?

Yes, I am scared to death of getting thin. This is another world that I am not familiar with. One thing that I do know, is I start to get attention and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am not used to getting compliments and when I get 5-10 a day, I get a bit upset and wish that people would just leave me alone. I guess also it would be, hey people I amjust the same person that I have always been just a different shell. I kind of makes me feel like I really wasn't liked because of my appearacne to begin with.

That's my main issue too much positive attention that I really DO NOT want. BLAH!

Yes, I am scared to death of getting thin. This is another world that I am not familiar with. One thing that I do know, is I start to get attention and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am not used to getting compliments and when I get 5-10 a day, I get a bit upset and wish that people would just leave me alone. I guess also it would be, hey people I amjust the same person that I have always been just a different shell. I kind of makes me feel like I really wasn't liked because of my appearacne to begin with.

That's my main issue too much positive attention that I really DO NOT want. BLAH!

this is how i feel..i hate attention. i have been raped and sexually abused as a child (rape was when i was 12 and was continuous for a year)..i think this is why i became fat in the first place. so, yes..i am absolutely terrified of being thin. but as my pcp tells me, i have a man that loves and protects me, and i deserve to be healthy, i cannot continue to punish myself for what someone else did to me.

Hi Everyone,

Believe it or not this one one of the first questions I asked someone when I came to the forum, because I have been 60,70,80 now 90 pounds overweight I know how this feels. Its sick and painful but very familiar, I know what to expect I get the same complements from everyone "you have such a pretty face" blah, blah, blah... But on this journey I don't know what is waiting, I don't know how other people will react and I do not know how I will react. Yes being thin scares me, because I know even though I am the same, the rest of the world WILL treat me differently. But in the end I have to remember this is about my journey, this is about me, about my health. I can't control other people but I can look good while I stare (lol)

Lana

I've been there, folks.

Sure it's a real concern but I sometimes our bodies are smarter than we are. The great thing about the band is that we lose slowly enough for our heads to catch up to our weight loss.

I remember doctors telling me that I'd lose 10-12 more lbs with the RnY Bypass than with the band. Generally the band doesn't make anyone thin - it just gets you to or near, your normal adult weight, whatever that is. The RnY can make you thinner than you were ever in life, but that wasn't my goal.

I wasn't trying to get to a small, just get to normal sizes. But luckily I decided I'd rather not go thru all that more complicated surgery for a few more pounds. So not only did the band get me to goal weight, I also ended up losing those extra pounds too. I lost as much as I would have lost with the RnY. That was a total surprise to me. I'm not losing now - and don't weigh myself. But I never cared for scale loss, clothes sizes meant more. As long as I maintain the same size, I'm cool.

So I can wear size Small tops and Medium bottoms, especially if they are Tall or Long lengths. (Some of my Holiday presents included 2 pairs of Pajamas from my sister. But they were a generous Size Small. I held them up thinking that they would never fit - Of course they fit perfectly. I wore them last night.) Did I ever think I'd be a size Small anything? Heck no. But I'm not skinny like I feared I'd be. In fact, now I'm a very curvy girl even at a Size 6 or 8 (there are semi-recent pics of me on the "Before & After" Pix thread here on this forum - although I look slim in my clothes, I truly look like a thick girl when in my undies ) so luckily I'm in no danger of being thought of as thin. That's a good thing! I won't ever be as thin as someone who's never been fat, but people constantly tell me that I don't look like I was ever fat;. That's a miracle, really.

So all the concerns I had at the beginning of this journey have evaporated. Let this tool work for you. As you lose your weight, your head is going to catch up with your body. So you won't keep wondering who that smaller (not small) girl is in the mirror: you'll know it's you.

I've been there, folks.

Sure it's a real concern but I sometimes our bodies are smarter than we are. The great thing about the band is that we lose slowly enough for our heads to catch up to our weight loss.

I remember doctors telling me that I'd lose 10-12 more lbs with the RnY Bypass than with the band. Generally the band doesn't make anyone thin - it just gets you to or near, your normal adult weight, whatever that is. The RnY can make you thinner than you were ever in life, but that wasn't my goal.

I wasn't trying to get to a small, just get to normal sizes. But luckily I decided I'd rather not go thru all that more complicated surgery for a few more pounds. So not only did the band get me to goal weight, I also ended up losing those extra pounds too. I lost as much as I would have lost with the RnY. That was a total surprise to me. I'm not losing now - and don't weigh myself. But I never cared for scale loss, clothes sizes meant more. As long as I maintain the same size, I'm cool.

So I can wear size Small tops and Medium bottoms, especially if they are Tall or Long lengths. (Some of my Holiday presents included 2 pairs of Pajamas from my sister. But they were a generous Size Small. I held them up thinking that they would never fit - Of course they fit perfectly. I wore them last night.) Did I ever think I'd be a size Small anything? Heck no. But I'm not skinny like I feared I'd be. In fact, now I'm a very curvy girl even at a Size 6 or 8 (there are semi-recent pics of me on the "Before & After" Pix thread here on this forum - although I look slim in my clothes, I truly look like a thick girl when in my undies ) so luckily I'm in no danger of being thought of as thin. That's a good thing! I won't ever be as thin as someone who's never been fat, but people constantly tell me that I don't look like I was ever fat;. That's a miracle, really.

So all the concerns I had at the beginning of this journey have evaporated. Let this tool work for you. As you lose your weight, your head is going to catch up with your body. So you won't keep wondering who that smaller (not small) girl is in the mirror: you'll know it's you.

Very well said. I know exactly what you mean about your head catching up with your body. All of us had head issues to begin with or we wouldn't be fat. It doesn't happen overnight. The "one day at a time" thing is very true. And, no, we're not perfect everyday. We all slip up, we just gotta keep on keepin on!

I had these thoughts when I was begining the process. I've had some traumatic events in my childhood and after a large weight loss of about 80lbs. I really think it did something to my mind set on being thin. I'm only about a week out of surgery but I'm glad I did this so far. I figured that anything I can do to better my health is a good thing. I'm not going to let my fears control me. I'm happy for the most part now and I'll be happy as a thin person as well. This will give me the opportunity to confront some of my fears and work on the mental issues with my over eating. I did this to be healthy not look like a model. I feel that I'll always be the same person only healthier.

Your fears are valid, just don't let them control you. Think about how proud of yourself you will be when you are not only thin and healthy but happy with yourself.

I'm looking foward to discovering the "thin me" and overcoming my fear. I'm sure it will be a long journey, but I'm up for it.

Good luck on your journey.

I am still pre-band but I think about this constantly and know that I will continue counseling throughout my weight loss. I have no idea what being thin is like. I've been overweight since I was in kindergarten so it's just going to be very very new for me. I'm scared that even when I lose the weight and I'm at a normal weight for me that I'll still be miserable with myself. I think it's a very normal fear for us to have.

I'm pre-op, but I have absolutely no fear of being 'thin.' The reason? I still can't wrap my mind around the concept, let alone think enough to be afraid of it.

I don't fear breaking chairs I sit on, or going to a restaurant and ask to be seated at a table because I don't want to (or can't) squeeze into a booth. I try if anything to laugh at the absurdity of it, but it's something I cannot change on my own - it's my reality, and consequently I have no need to fear it. The same, I suspect, would be true of being thin - it is what it is, so why fear it?

What I fear is the thought of dropping dead of a massive coronary. And given a choice between that and being thin - I'll take thin. Gladly.

I ABSOLUTELY have had fears of being thin. Am I going to be the same? Is my relationship with others going to change? How will people react to me? What will my relationship with food be? How will I feel about my body? Am I ready to live my life as a thin person- and what is life LIKE as a thin person???

Those are just a sample of some of my over-perseverating thoughts that have run through my head. I have found though, the closer I get to goal, the less fear I have because I realize that being the weight I am now is already 100 times easier than being fat.

There are still times when I feel those fears again and I think those are the times when my weight loss stalls. It's like my mind has to catch up with my body. Those are "emotional plateaus." But once I've reached those plateaus I've stepped back from the physical part of losing weight and try to figure out what it is that is holding me back. When I've kinda worked through that I add something new to my journey to thinness- bought a bodybugg once, participated in a local biggest loser contest, even went to counseling for a couple of sessions.

Those are just some things I've done to keep those fears from stopping me from having the life I want- and deserve!

I had the same thoughts before I was banded. I think obesity and self loathing cause a vicious cycle. I am overweight and have to remind myself that I am worth it. worth the time, being healthy and I am good enough to be skinny and not depend on my fat to be my buffer.

Even now that I am banded, at first while I didn't have any restriction I found myself in an emotional battle... In my head thoughts that I didn't deserve to lose weight or be thin, crossed my mind. I found myself trying to self-sabotage and eat things I shouldn't. I have had to work through all of these issues. A good book I am reading that helps is called, "Life is hard, food is easy" by Linda Spangle. It helps to identify emotional eating and encourage self-worth.

You are going to do great. I thought I would too fail, but just remember that it takes a few fills before you feel restriction and then the lbs will start to fall off.

I see people talking about how other people will treat them when they are "thin"....how their partners and family will react to it, etc.

I don't really see people commenting on what I believe to be the core of the problem with most everyone...

"When I am ______ (insert your word here.....thin, skinny, 130 pounds, etc.) will I finally be HAPPY with and LOVE myself?"

I think that's what this really boils down to. We have all punished ourselves for whatever indiscretions we perceive we have done to ourselves, or have been done to us by others. I don't believe that ONE of us has had a truly healthy relationship with OURSELVES in this self-destructive lifestyle. And NO we won't magically love ourselves at a certain weight. This is a multi-step process. Mind and body, together. You cannot divorce the two. As the metamorphisis takes place in our bodies, we have to turn inwards and REALLY look long and hard at why we got where we got...take those bricks of thinking apart and study them carefully and try to put them back together in a more healthy way...

THAT's the challenge we face....the weight is secondary, like getting rid of the symptom of a disease, if you don't address the underlying cause, the symptoms will return.

I see people talking about how other people will treat them when they are "thin"....how their partners and family will react to it, etc.

I don't really see people commenting on what I believe to be the core of the problem with most everyone...

"When I am ______ (insert your word here.....thin, skinny, 130 pounds, etc.) will I finally be HAPPY with and LOVE myself?"

I think that's what this really boils down to. We have all punished ourselves for whatever indiscretions we perceive we have done to ourselves, or have been done to us by others. I don't believe that ONE of us has had a truly healthy relationship with OURSELVES in this self-destructive lifestyle. And NO we won't magically love ourselves at a certain weight. This is a multi-step process. Mind and body, together. You cannot divorce the two. As the metamorphisis takes place in our bodies, we have to turn inwards and REALLY look long and hard at why we got where we got...take those bricks of thinking apart and study them carefully and try to put them back together in a more healthy way...

THAT's the challenge we face....the weight is secondary, like getting rid of the symptom of a disease, if you don't address the underlying cause, the symptoms will return.

very well said, i need to put this on my vanity mirror and read it every day.