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New bee .... I am afraid it will not work for me



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Hello ... I am just finishing my 90 days of nutrition and doctor appts and getting very anxious. I have had for about 2 years now great difficulty with shortness of breath and high blood pressure, high cholesterol and sleep apnea and now hit the diabetic number when my blood is tested. I like everyone has tried lots of diets but always failed. I had never even thought of this surgery until it was suggested in November by my pulmonologist. He said my lungs were being squished and my liver was fatty and I really needed to think about it. I thought he was just a "skinny" mean doctor who had just insulted me till I took a look online and realized it was a good idea.

I am short ... just under 5 feet and carry my weight in my stomach and butt mostly. Also, I have no sense of smell and don't taste food much at all. When I eat it is to feel full ... I don't get enjoyment of smelling food .. i just look for what will fill me up and give me a "full feeling". So that being said will my need to have that "full feeling" go away after surgery?

My reason for this surgery is to let me live a better life and feel better .. it was never thought of to make me pretty or thin ... I cant even look in a mirror and don't let photos of me be taken. I have over the last 90 days started to exercise ( yup i hate it.. hurts my fat ) and dieted and lost weight at each appointment and got all my tests done but i am now breathing better..... I now wonder if I should keep going ?

I have always been the funny fat short smart foul mouth making jokes about my fat .... making people laugh is makes me feel like it can fit in. Do you think i will ever see myself as something different? The few people that know i am having this done seem to think the fat just falls right off after having surgery but just losing 20 pounds in 3 months was work. I am afraid of having it and it not working.

People tell me how easy it is to gain all the weight back with this surgery ..as if telling me not to bother doing it .....people have told me they know someone who had it and was back to work in 2 weeks she felt fine ( like it is no big deal) and my boss does not think i am not "fat enough" for it? From what i have learned it is not easy, and you can be out for a few weeks, and there can be problems, it is not easy for everyone and I think people think i will be skinny and pretty after and I don't see that coming at all. If i lose any weight will i feel any better about myself ? I was re-married 4 years ago and never ordered my wedding photos because how horrible i looked .... i am afraid I will never be not ugly. I just feel sad when i get on the scale and it goes up and down everyday .... i am feeling unsure it will work for me ...is that normal ?

Thanks for letting me cry on your site.....

Lori

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It appears to me you are on the right course - I have not been at this long so the gaining back i can not answer but i will tell you that it will help your health/ Only you can decide if you will be able to use this tool to save your life! Seems like a no brainer to me but you have to do the work.

Do not cry just get it done and get healthy and happy

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Hey Lori,

I had my surgery September 25, 2019. Since then I have lost 67 pounds. Still got a long way to go but my weight lost has been steady. The surgery wiped my appetite away. I never get hungry. I have to make myself eat. I get full quick and not able to finish a meal. I encourage you to have a better life and to get the surgery done. I have never been able to lose this much weight on my own. The most that I could lose was 10 bls or less on my own. Now, since losing weight, i do more things outdoors. I look forward to going shopping for cloths and I sleep better at night without snoring. The surgery has saved my life and it can save yours.

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That gives my great hope .... thank you for reaching out to me 👍hearing from real people who are living it is much better than just wondering ..... I cannot wait to sit on the beach again 🏖

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I was sleeved 12/31 and have not looked back! I was incredibly apprehensive before the surgery, thinking I would miss out on enjoying food. Turns out, I wasn't enjoying food, but using it as a way to dull my self-loathing. I also used to drink a lot of wine and beer. Now, I have no desire for making a quick stop at the drive-thru, or pouring a glass of beer or wine every night. That to me is absolutely weird!

Now that I have lost weight, feel better, and have a brighter outlook, I don't feel the emotional pull towards the destructive habits. I also haven't felt hunger. I definitely feel full, and have learned exactly when to stop. I haven't come across anything that I can't eat, and I haven't thrown up. I have had an occasional glass of wine or a beer, but it's hard to imbibe when your priority is to eat Protein. There's just no room or time for empty calories.

The weeks after the surgery were a little rough with three weeks of liquid, then three weeks of mush, but they are a distant memory. I am enjoying less knee pain, better sleep, and I felt my hip bone emerge this week! And I too, cannot wait to sit on the beach again!

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@themonk4u all I can say is I feel what you are saying and my heart grieves for the way to feel about yourself,,, you are such a beautiful person I can tell. And this surgery will make the outside match your inside if you don't feel that way now. You have no choice BUT to lose after the surgery . the challenge will be to follow the instructions to the letter, renew your mind with new ideas about food and getting "full" etc.. you gonna do great

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at a BMI of 46, you are definitely "fat enough" (your words - not mine!) for it (if it makes you feel any better, my starting BMI was 60). I think a lot of people get their perceptions of bariatric surgery from shows like "My 600 lb Life". I've been working with pre-op groups for the last three years, and I've never seen ANYONE the size of the people on that show. In fact, I would guess most are in the mid-200s, with a handful of 300+ people thrown in for good measure. (I was one of the latter. I thought I'd be one of the smallest people in the room. Nope! I was the biggest!)

chasing that "full feeling" is psychological, not physical, so it won't be "fixed" by surgery. A lot of us can probably relate to that - but you're still going to have to deal with it. I have to fight that all the time and constantly ask myself if I'm truly hungry, or if it's just thinking I have to feel "full" again. That said, most of us do lose our hunger for a few months after surgery. For the first time in my life, I didn't give a flying flip about food. Wow - does that ever make it easier to stick to your plan and lose weight! But unfortunately, that doesn't last forever. Hunger usually returns within a few months - or up to a year (mine came back at five months). Then the real challenge begins...

as for losing weight - yes, you will lose it if you stick to your clinic's plan. And no, you won't gain it all back as long as you stick to your clinic's plan. It's pretty common for people to gain 10-20 lbs after hitting bottom, but as long as you stay on your plan, you should be able to maintain at that level. It's a battle, but it's not impossible. Lots of us have done it..

I think you'll be glad you had this done. Most of us have no regrets at all and would do it again in a heartbeat.

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It's totally normal for you to question yourself whether or not WLS is for you. But it is YOUR decision alone--not your bosses, friends or family members. Did you have to have a psych consult? Maybe sharing your fears with a counselor will help you realize that you ARE doing the right thing. Or share them with us, your weight loss buddies. Every one of us has had doubts about surgery, but just read all the success stories here, and it will cheer you up and reinforce your decision! Like the BariatricPal ticker says--"Together we have lost 5,223,735 pounds, and by the time you read this, it will probably be higher!!

Edited by JRT Mom

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Try not to worry, you are on the right path and trying to see so far ahead only hurts you, just look at the moment you are in- the here and now. I live with lifelong chronic illness, disability, metabolic disorders, I cannot exercise. I’m 5’ and I started off at 208lbs BMI 40.6 - I had my surgery on April 29th 2019. Today I am 112.6lbs I’m strict with my calories, low carb, little sugar except occasional piece of banana in my yogurt.

The experience varies for each person. People who regain are those who don’t follow the lifestyle. They see it as a miracle fix rather than what it is, a tool. Or they see it as a temporary diet rather than a way of life.

stick to the program, hydration, Protein, low carb, less than 4 or 5 grams sugar in a meal or Protein Drink. Keep a daily log of weight food, calories and protein and that can help. Do things until they become second nature. learn tips ahead of surgery to help with the harder days.

like clear liquids: Bone Broth, Premier Protein tropical punch clear Protein Drinks, outshine sugar free fruit pops, Yogi teas, etc.

BariatricPal Store has great protein shots perfect for post op.

there is a lot of support here. Try not to let others opinions of surgery sway your decision to do what is best for you. I know it is hard. I struggle with similar things. I’m on the Autism spectrum. My body image has always been a big thing as long as I can remember. But I knew this was my last chance do this or give up. Because no matter how much I fought I couldn’t do it on my own anymore. I also lost my ability to taste food and my sense of smell skewed. Never had sense of hungry or full so ate meals because if I didn’t my stomach would bloat and I’d feel ill.

Surgery helped I am good with small portions now and can do the low calories, low carb, my body needed to lose weight.

im not very good at this but I wish you all the best on your journey. Don’t give up. You can do it.

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Thank you to all the wonderful beautiful people who answered me it has made me feel better about my choice ..... see you on the losers bench 😘😊👍❤️

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You’re making the right choice, I had R-n-Y July 2017. I’ve gone from 89kgs to 65kgs ( 198 lbs - 140 lbs) been maintaining my weight for over 18 months now and yes it’s possible ! I also ridiculed my fat body, it was a form of protection, we’re just saying it before the other person does !!
Surgery was the kick start and then the nutritional advise (tool) has kept me at maintenance.
I’ve had blips at Christmas time, been scared each time thinking that my appetite has increased and my stomach has got bigger too. But nope, I go back to small diet and appetite, it’s such a great feeling, being in control 🙌🏽
I loved carbs like potatoes and bread to make me feel sated.
I have 1 slice of bread a day now and potatoes maybe once every 2/3 weeks, i love the fact I’m not using carbs for comfort anymore.
I do have naughty days when I want a bag of crisps/chips, in which case I’ll buy a bag of roasted nuts, that way at least I’m getting some Protein whilst being naughty. !
Protein has been very challenging for me as I’m vegetarian, my diet has never been dairy based but it is now.
My tummy is still quite small, I can’t eat huge or even ‘normal’ portions.
I’m not on hypertension drugs anymore. I love being able to buckle my sandals and tying shoe laces. 😆
I can’t believe I was carrying a ‘suitcase’ (23kg excess fat/weight) around for 30yrs. When I go on holiday, my suitcase feels very heavy carrying it to car, then to check in, to think I was carrying that around with me daily... crazy and scary for 30 years.
Telling people - I didn’t tell my family as I worried that if I didn’t lose weight I’d be ashamed. But, one does lose weight and you will ! Don’t stress about that, this surgery does work and using the tools that you have learnt help you to be sucessful in the future. I was nervous too, but it’s great being on the other side now
Good luck !

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Thank you for sharing with me. I do worry about failing and having people judge me. I have lost a few pounds 22.5 getting ready for surgery and my doctor will have me on a two week liquid diet right before so I can have my liver get smaller. i cant image buying clothes i like rather than big fat clothes .... i am also hoping to get off so many medicines. I am hoping to zip up jeans someday !

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