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Supporting Cast

I got that magic phone call today, I'm approved for surgery and will meet the surgeon this Friday. I just finished the options classes 2 weeks ago and my last requirement on Monday. I'm very proud of myself for this progress, but there's more to do and as those of you who are on this journey know, we all need somebody. You are the star of your "life", but who is your supporting cast for this part of the journey and is it who you thought it would be?

My support group is strong at times and other days I realize just how much of this is all me. I'm used to it being only me, but this journey requires vulnerability and transparency (at least for me), I need my supporting cast more than I thought...

Who are your supporters???

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  • mousecat88
    mousecat88

    I did not have any real support. My mother, who is my only real family, was 20000% against it and my coworkers were like "oh, okay" when I told them. lol. I've found that I don't actually need anyone

  • My life is surrounded by supporters from my family to my work family. I've had nothing but positive encouragement Congrats on your approval!!!

  • Krimsonbutterflies
    Krimsonbutterflies

    Thank you... I'm very private so my supporters are very limited and were hand picked. I did meet some amazing people in the Options classes and have maintained contact, which is a source of suppo

Featured Replies

My life is surrounded by supporters from my family to my work family. I've had nothing but positive encouragement :D

Congrats on your approval!!!

  • Author
3 minutes ago, ARMoma45 said:

My life is surrounded by supporters from my family to my work family. I've had nothing but positive encouragement :D

Congrats on your approval!!!

Thank you...

I'm very private so my supporters are very limited and were hand picked. I did meet some amazing people in the Options classes and have maintained contact, which is a source of support.

I love your post and comments by the way, always encouraging.

Thank you. This is a frustrating and exciting journey for all of us and we need support...even if it's only from us here on the site :)

  • Author

This site has been my educator, my journal, my best friend, my addiction at times, my guide, my whatever I needed in that moment. A lot of people on here say they watch My 600 Pound Life, I come to bariatricpal.com and get lost reading...

I did both lol. Now that i've had my surgery, I can't see how those folks on that show actually gained weight shortly after surgery...it blows my mind.

8 hours ago, Krimsonbutterflies said:

I got that magic phone call today, I'm approved for surgery and will meet the surgeon this Friday. I just finished the options classes 2 weeks ago and my last requirement on Monday. I'm very proud of myself for this progress, but there's more to do and as those of you who are on this journey know, we all need somebody. You are the star of your "life", but who is your supporting cast for this part of the journey and is it who you thought it would be?

My support group is strong at times and other days I realize just how much of this is all me. I'm used to it being only me, but this journey requires vulnerability and transparency (at least for me), I need my supporting cast more than I thought...

Who are your supporters???

I was the talent, agent, director, stage manager, costume designer, producer, promoter, sales rep and audience ?

(other people may prove unreliable at times but I NEVER failed myself)

CONGRATS and Good Luck ?

Edited by GreenTealael

I did not have any real support. My mother, who is my only real family, was 20000% against it and my coworkers were like "oh, okay" when I told them. lol. I've found that I don't actually need anyone else because I am accountable only to myself. It's nice talking online to people that have had it, too. But in "real life"... I'm my own cast.

In my family, I have only told my husband and my daughter who still lives at home. They are somewhat supportive, though both don't understand WHY I am doing this, and do give me occasional flack. For my husband it is more about the need for what he calls "unnecessary surgery" and his fear of complications (all his surgeries are complicated, but mine historically have been just fine). For my daughter, I am sure she is more "embarrassed" by the though of it than anything else. Hubby and I are both nurses, so we have the post op care covered. He has 2 days off work plus his weekend, so I will have care for 4 days (sort of... he will probably sleep more than anything lol). My daughter will begrudgingly help too lol. I say that because she is a teenager still and in a very "moody" phase lol.

I haven't told my oldest because he lives far away and he will worry and probably tell the family members that I don't want to know ANYTHING about what I am doing. I haven't told my middle son because school just started (away at college) plus I don't want him worrying. Both boys would probably feel obligated to come home, which would be silly since I will only be in the hospital one night. I will tell them eventually, just not until after the surgery.

I don't want anyone else in my family to know. Unless my daughter (or later sons) blab. I live 13 hours or more from everyone else in my family, so this would be easy for me to keep a secret.

As for other support? I have a co-worker who did this a couple years ago. She has been an amazing help. She is even stepping up and helping cover my absence. I also have let in a handful of other co-workers in on what I am doing. They have been great. My bosses don't know exactly what I am having surgery for (unless someone blabbed to them), but they are totally supportive of me doing anything I need to get healthier. I am sure the rumor mill is going to start up if it hasn't already. I am mentally preparing for that. I think my biggest challenge will be potlucks, which happen at least once a month. And when others just decide to bring in food on their own. Thankfully my cubicle has been moved. Last year I could smell the delicious food all day long from my desk. this year I will be further away. I have also asked that I be left off of the potluck groups list. I told the person who schedules it that I am happy to donate money so that I am participating, but I can't bring in food or hardly any of it. She was fine with that. I doubt others will notice I am not on the list, but if they do... oh well! Putting my health first above co-worker relations lol

People can be supportive without knowing the whole truth. My friends, coworkers, work out buddies,etc have all been so supportive with my diet and exercise, they don’t need to know about my surgery ?

  • Author
16 hours ago, ARMoma45 said:

I did both lol. Now that i've had my surgery, I can't see how those folks on that show actually gained weight shortly after surgery...it blows my mind.

The mind has to be in sync with the body. This is a serious commitment and I for one just don't want to see all of this work go to waste.

  • Author
13 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

I was the talent, agent, director, stage manager, costume designer, producer, promoter, sales rep and audience ?

(other people may prove unreliable at times but I NEVER failed myself)

CONGRATS and Good Luck ?

This is my absolute favorite response and it's not short of the truth. Other ppl. are very unreliable and not invested in your success.

Give yourself a standing ovation for a performance out of this world. Thank you for the congratulations and well wishes.

  • Author
4 hours ago, NYJenn said:

People can be supportive without knowing the whole truth. My friends, coworkers, work out buddies,etc have all been so supportive with my diet and exercise, they don’t need to know about my surgery ?

I agree!!! My surgery = my business.

  • Author
11 hours ago, momof3_angels said:

In my family, I have only told my husband and my daughter who still lives at home. They are somewhat supportive, though both don't understand WHY I am doing this, and do give me occasional flack. For my husband it is more about the need for what he calls "unnecessary surgery" and his fear of complications (all his surgeries are complicated, but mine historically have been just fine). For my daughter, I am sure she is more "embarrassed" by the though of it than anything else. Hubby and I are both nurses, so we have the post op care covered. He has 2 days off work plus his weekend, so I will have care for 4 days (sort of... he will probably sleep more than anything lol). My daughter will begrudgingly help too lol. I say that because she is a teenager still and in a very "moody" phase lol.

I haven't told my oldest because he lives far away and he will worry and probably tell the family members that I don't want to know ANYTHING about what I am doing. I haven't told my middle son because school just started (away at college) plus I don't want him worrying. Both boys would probably feel obligated to come home, which would be silly since I will only be in the hospital one night. I will tell them eventually, just not until after the surgery.

I don't want anyone else in my family to know. Unless my daughter (or later sons) blab. I live 13 hours or more from everyone else in my family, so this would be easy for me to keep a secret.

As for other support? I have a co-worker who did this a couple years ago. She has been an amazing help. She is even stepping up and helping cover my absence. I also have let in a handful of other co-workers in on what I am doing. They have been great. My bosses don't know exactly what I am having surgery for (unless someone blabbed to them), but they are totally supportive of me doing anything I need to get healthier. I am sure the rumor mill is going to start up if it hasn't already. I am mentally preparing for that. I think my biggest challenge will be potlucks, which happen at least once a month. And when others just decide to bring in food on their own. Thankfully my cubicle has been moved. Last year I could smell the delicious food all day long from my desk. this year I will be further away. I have also asked that I be left off of the potluck groups list. I told the person who schedules it that I am happy to donate money so that I am participating, but I can't bring in food or hardly any of it. She was fine with that. I doubt others will notice I am not on the list, but if they do... oh well! Putting my health first above co-worker relations lol

Best of luck...and you are making wise choices for your success. That pesky rumor mill, let them talk while they eat cake. Well bask in the success of our new bodies and enjoy tiny pieces of cake occasionally.

  • Author
13 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

I did not have any real support. My mother, who is my only real family, was 20000% against it and my coworkers were like "oh, okay" when I told them. lol. I've found that I don't actually need anyone else because I am accountable only to myself. It's nice talking online to people that have had it, too. But in "real life"... I'm my own cast.

I'm dealing with a friend or 3 or 8 who I'm not going to tell, just because I refuse to deal with negative energy and ppl. who refuse to be or get educated on the benefits of this life changing and enhancing opportunity.

  • 2 weeks later...

I had no problems whatsoever telling people I was having the surgery done. Pretty much all of my friends and family are excited for me. Even my daughters gymnastics coaches are extremely supportive of my decision. They love seeing my updates, even a teacher I had in HS (I gradated in 1992!!) is following it and has told me she's one of my biggest "fans" My family is amazing, my husband was deployed on my surgery day so at age 45 my daddy drove me to the hospital and drove me home and my mom stayed with me for almost a week to take care of me. My 12 yo is so amazing and supportive over it, she loves to ask me how much I have lost and gives me high 5's etc. My 25yo is supportive as well however he is one who was always more worried about my smoking than my weight when he was growing up. For him I made sure he knew I was well taken care of here so he wouldn't even think about trying to take leave to come home for it.

I have only had one friend of mine who felt the need to tell me that she didn't think her bmi was high enough and even if it was "I couldn't handle the loose skin" why she felt the need to tell me that I don't know but that was the only not really supportive comment I have gotten she is one though who thinks she is perfectly healthy obese and it's not her fault she doesn't lose weight...so that could play into her reply too she just seems to take my having surgery personal. Whatev her opinions don't bother me in the least I did this to better myself and to stop worrying about the ticking time bomb to diabetes or heart problems.

I hope you are able to have a wonderful supporting cast. For me knowing I had so many rooting for me makes me feel amazing.

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