:help:I want to have surgery, but my other half it totally against it. He says to try to loose it the way I gained, slowly w/exercise. Although he sees me diet, exerciese & fail for the last 15yrs, he still says no. He says he would rather have me the way I am than have surgery & complications. He says we are fine, which I disagree with. We have not had an intimate relationship for years. We very seldom go anywhere together & I think it is because of my weight. He would argue & say that has nothing to do with it. I want the surgery so I can keep up with him & our 7yr old. My dad died at the age of 54, I don't want that to be me. I tried to talk him into coming to the dr w/me, but he won't. What do I do now?

I was afraid to talk to my husband about the surgery and so I didn't discuss it with him until I had ALL the facts. I even had to pick up insurance at my job bc his wouldn't cover it. But when I told him this is what I'm going to do he was ok with it. He knew I hated being fat and he saw my family having heart attacks and other health problems so when I said this is what I'm going to do, he just shrugged his shoulders and said ok. I agree with the others who said its your body and your health but I understand you wanting his blessing.

Nah, that's just what he says. Does he drive for you so you don't have to take the risk? Does he pump your fuel, climb all ladders, deice every step you take?

He's afraid alright, but not risks and complications. He's afraid if you step up to the plate to be a better person..he will have to as well.

Oh, people are always afraid of change.

My husband was against me having the surgery as well only because he was a very domineering person and while I am big he can control me knowing I wont leave the house for embarrassment of my size.

however I had to do this for my health's sake as I also had family members die young with heart problems and wanted to be around for my children

Even though it was against his wishes I told him" I'm going ahead with it you can either support me or not" with this he said he was leaving and who wanted to be married to a fat slob any way ,mind you he is 30 kilos overweight.

I had my surgery on 28th November 2007 and have never felt happier or better.

so Wilted, he left? I'm glad you are happier then ever.

Yes he left and ran home to mummy.She can have him as no one else will want him with the attitude he has.

I have never felt happier and I am on my way to my healthier life losing 10.5 kilo since the optifast diet and my surgery.

good luck every one in journey ahead

Deb

what it is is hes afraid that if you lose the weight hell lose that control over you when it comes to maybe other men being attracted to you. and hes afraid that if you do it youll leave him for someone better. my old man did the same thing. i still went thru with it though whether it made him happy or not cause i was doing it not for that reason but for my health. hes a man. what do you expect hell get over it once he sees the results of it later on down the road. and when he sees your happy and healthy . hell accept it more. but hell eventually accept it. just tell him accept what i am doing or dont but im still doing it. dont let him be in control of you!