Bad day. Woke up at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep. Caffeine led to acid reflux, so I've got to wait longer on that. I had breakfast, but in my sleepy stupor, I forgot my lunch on the counter. Today I am at a conference, and they provided lunch. My breakfast didn't have enough protein and I was trying to pound the water today (I've been so bad with that), so my stomach was empty and I was pretty hungry when lunch rolled around. I took a sandwich and ate a small amount of the meat and cheese without the bread, and one very small mini ravioli from a pasta salad. I estimated the amount as best I could and tracked it. It tasted good and I really wanted more but thank Bob for restriction. Then, I saw the cookie tray and took one of those tiny mini brownies. I have no idea why. I have been so good before this. I wasn't hungry, I was FULL. I took a teensy nibble, about the size of my pinky nail, and tossed the rest. Yes, it was tiny, probably less than 20 calories. but it bothered me that I did it. I am only a month out, I should have more strength against sweets, it's not like those of you who have been doing this for months or years, it is too early to be so weak. What bothered me was that it tasted really, really GOOD. I have completely lost my taste for sugar-free sweet things, they are revolting to me, and I had hoped I would feel the same about the much more dangerous real sugar, but nope. It gave me that familiar pleasure that I haven't felt in a while and it was a little disturbing to have that flashback to that addictive sugar and it was a real wake-up call as to just how difficult this weight loss battle is going to be.

33 minutes ago, Swanton_Bomb said:

Bad day. Woke up at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep. Caffeine led to acid reflux, so I've got to wait longer on that. I had Breakfast, but in my sleepy stupor, I forgot my lunch on the counter. Today I am at a conference, and they provided lunch. My breakfast didn't have enough Protein and I was trying to pound the Water today (I've been so bad with that), so my stomach was empty and I was pretty hungry when lunch rolled around. I took a sandwich and ate a small amount of the meat and cheese without the bread, and one very small mini ravioli from a Pasta salad. I estimated the amount as best I could and tracked it. It tasted good and I really wanted more but thank Bob for restriction. Then, I saw the cookie tray and took one of those tiny mini brownies. I have no idea why. I have been so good before this. I wasn't hungry, I was FULL. I took a teensy nibble, about the size of my pinky nail, and tossed the rest. Yes, it was tiny, probably less than 20 calories. but it bothered me that I did it. I am only a month out, I should have more strength against sweets, it's not like those of you who have been doing this for months or years, it is too early to be so weak. What bothered me was that it tasted really, really GOOD. I have completely lost my taste for sugar-free sweet things, they are revolting to me, and I had hoped I would feel the same about the much more dangerous real sugar, but nope. It gave me that familiar pleasure that I haven't felt in a while and it was a little disturbing to have that flashback to that addictive sugar and it was a real wake-up call as to just how difficult this weight loss battle is going to be.

I am not one for therapy or self-help junk... but I have to say that I did read the book Never Binge Again (and it's not just about binge eating, but dealing with cravings... which was my issue)... and it is the most amazing book I've ever read. It is funny and realistic and awesome. It's cheap and on Amazon and pretty short... check it out! I actually have only read half and the first few chapters of his no-nonsense tips and logic have virtually squashed all cravings I've had (given me REAL tools to make them disappear). The author was an obese psychologist who worked for "Big Food" making food more addictive to the consumer... who eventually lost a ton of weight and realized how eff'd up his job was and decided to help people lose weight instead.

Never Binge Again, I'll start looking around, see if I can find a cheap enough copy, might try my local library system. If I can't find one, it will be one of the first items I buy in 2019.

1 minute ago, Frustr8 said:

Never Binge Again, I'll start looking around, see if I can find a cheap enough copy, might try my local library system. If I can't find one, it will be one of the first items I buy in 2019.

There's a used version on Amazon for 5$! The book new is less than 10. So good.

I think it's free on Kindle at the mo. Least it was on amazon.co.uk

2 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

I am not one for therapy or self-help junk... but I have to say that I did read the book Never Binge Again (and it's not just about binge eating, but dealing with cravings... which was my issue)... and it is the most amazing book I've ever read. It is funny and realistic and awesome. It's cheap and on Amazon and pretty short... check it out! I actually have only read half and the first few chapters of his no-nonsense tips and logic have virtually squashed all cravings I've had (given me REAL tools to make them disappear). The author was an obese psychologist who worked for "Big Food" making food more addictive to the consumer... who eventually lost a ton of weight and realized how eff'd up his job was and decided to help people lose weight instead.

This awesome! Reading it now. Amazon Prime has it for free as a Kindle book. Don't even need a Kindle to read it either. You can have it load in your browser. Thanks for the info!

4 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

I am not one for therapy or self-help junk... but I have to say that I did read the book Never Binge Again (and it's not just about binge eating, but dealing with cravings... which was my issue)... and it is the most amazing book I've ever read. It is funny and realistic and awesome. It's cheap and on Amazon and pretty short... check it out! I actually have only read half and the first few chapters of his no-nonsense tips and logic have virtually squashed all cravings I've had (given me REAL tools to make them disappear). The author was an obese psychologist who worked for "Big Food" making food more addictive to the consumer... who eventually lost a ton of weight and realized how eff'd up his job was and decided to help people lose weight instead.

Thank you for the suggestion. I have always had disordered eating and in some ways (different ways) the surgery is making it worse. I still have obsessions and cravings, but fortunately I'm early out so I can control them due to restriction. What I now have in addition though, is other disordered eating patterns. Binging has been replaced by things like obsessive calorie counting, weighing, etc. Today I went over by 15 calories because of lunch and it freaked me out. I have never liked the idea of therapy but I think I need help.

Thank you for the suggestion. I have always had disordered eating and in some ways (different ways) the surgery is making it worse. I still have obsessions and cravings, but fortunately I'm early out so I can control them due to restriction. What I now have in addition though, is other disordered eating patterns. Binging has been replaced by things like obsessive calorie counting, weighing, etc. Today I went over by 15 calories because of lunch and it freaked me out. I have never liked the idea of therapy but I think I need help.

I definitely understand. I can easily see myself flipping from overeating to undereating, especially if time progresses and I don't see the results I want. It's crossed my mind a number of times. Right now I'm good... I don't track because I do get obsessive, but I eat the exact same food every day basically so there's not much to track. That book applies across the board to all eating disorders, etc. It's pretty harsh and straight to the point, which I prefer personally. I always end up arguing with therapists, but I may go to one anyways just to "check in".