Today was hard. I have surgery this Friday 20th. I've been eating the pre-op "envelope meal" diet almost 2 weeks and today the office ordered Cheesecake Factory. It's not their fault that I made the decision to do the surgery, but I still wanted to kick their chairs out from underneath them. It's literally all I can do to keep myself from saying "Eff it" and going for a steak and beer. I know I know, I am so close to surgery; I wont sabotage myself.

One other thing that has been on my mind is how some people I have told have reacted to my news. I honestly didn't tell people for a long time about what I was doing because I didn't want to listen to everyone's opinions. I've worked in the medical field for 20 years and if I have questions I know who to ask.

It doesn't stop people from saying things that are seriously discouraging:

- "Oh wow. Can't you lose it on your own without having surgery?"

- "I could NEVER do a liquid diet for that long."

- "Haven't people died getting that done?"

- "Awwww! Your surgery is the day of my party?? That sucks! We were having a Mexican food buffet too! I know that's your favorite. Well, at least you are missing for a good reason."

- "I'm fat too, but there is no way I would have surgery."

- "Let's go to {insert restaurant/bar here} before you have surgery since you wont be able to do it after that."

- "You know you can't have carbonated beverages the rest of your life, right?"

- "Don't people gain their weight back most of the time anyway?"

It's hard to tell if people are trying to make me feel bad about my decision because they don't understand it, or it they are jealous or just being downright hateful. I don't get it. I just needed to vent. Today was the hardest day I've had so far and I needed to get that off my chest. I keep telling myself that by this weekend it will all be over and I can start focusing on living a normal life again, just healthier this time.

Today is good Friday
See you in the other side
Safe journey!

How you doing?

Hope everything goes well today!

The hardest part of this journey is deciding to do it, then the first 2 weeks after surgery. Almost there!

Tracy - I hope your op went well!

As regards you original post, I told my long-term friends and family and just one work colleague.

My two best friends expressed concerns about the seriousness of the surgery and the risks, but were very supportive when I explained my reasons and how it was relatively safe compared to other major surgery I've had. I reckon that's a measure of how much they love me - they just wanted to make sure I would be safe. But there are some other people I know who would most certainly be b*tchy if they knew, so I'm not telling anyone who has contact with them.

Unfortunately, my mother has taken it upon herself to tell two of her friends (who she swears are trustworthy). I've tried to explain that it should be my choice who knows, but she thinks I'm being unnecessarily secretive. (Sigh) Mothers eh?! Well, she's kind and thoughtful in lots of other ways...

An infuriating comment someone said to me was, "Why don't you just eat like that and skip the surgery?" Talk about ignorance... Hopefully those closest to you are supportive and helpful!!!

An infuriating comment someone said to me was, "Why don't you just eat like that and skip the surgery?" Talk about ignorance... Hopefully those closest to you are supportive and helpful!!!

My one supporter said the same thing like 2 days before my surgery!
I.LOST.MY.MIND.

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

15 hours ago, Lyngolean said:

An infuriating comment someone said to me was, "Why don't you just eat like that and skip the surgery?" Talk about ignorance... Hopefully those closest to you are supportive and helpful!!!

Yup...because that never occurred to you before, did it?

That's got to be up there with "You just need to eat less and move more."

Add You're Not Trying, You're not commuted to dieting enough, and one,of my personal favorites You are only doing this to Get Attention. Hnnnh?

Well, you've go to feel sorry for people who are plonkers...After all, we had an operation to help fix our all-too-obvious flaw, but what can they do? - Have a personality transplant?

Hard to have a personality transplant, where do you find a mind that narrow to fit it?

I am on the mend now. I've learned a lot about myself and those close to me since the surgery; both before and after.

I'm grateful for the community through the journey. The scariest part was feeling alone in this...and I am most certainly not. Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I appreciate it!

Dear Tracy,

All the well wishers with idiotic comments are exactly the reason I only told my husband, mom, and two close family friends since they would notice when eating meals.

That being said, if we could have lost the weight under less severe measures, why would we have surgery!?! Silly question.

The pre-op diet was the hardest part for me, and I ended up just doing Keto.

Trust that it gets better, and a few months down the road, the hard part will be behind you.

How are you doing?

Best thing about being over 40 (in my case, 50)? Giving zero f@cks what others think about my decisions. ?

On 07/23/2018 at 20:19, Screwballski said:

Best thing about being over 40 (in my case, 50)? Giving zero f@cks what others think about my decisions. ?

I’m 34, but yeah- basically this. I have a secret surgery buddy that I did this with that wants no one to know they did it, but I’m the exact opposite! I will tell anyone I did it and really don’t care if they have anything but positivity to bring to my life.... ?. I did this for me.

I agree we all should do what is right for us. My fiancé has told me that I’m taking the easy way out & why don’t I just go to the gym and get a trainer or that I’m making the biggest mistake of my life but I said I have a total peace about it & I’m not letting anyone steal my joy.

On 07/18/2018 at 16:25, Tracy1978 said:

Today was hard. I have surgery this Friday 20th. I've been eating the pre-op "envelope meal" diet almost 2 weeks and today the office ordered Cheesecake Factory. It's not their fault that I made the decision to do the surgery, but I still wanted to kick their chairs out from underneath them. It's literally all I can do to keep myself from saying "Eff it" and going for a steak and beer. I know I know, I am so close to surgery; I wont sabotage myself.

One other thing that has been on my mind is how some people I have told have reacted to my news. I honestly didn't tell people for a long time about what I was doing because I didn't want to listen to everyone's opinions. I've worked in the medical field for 20 years and if I have questions I know who to ask.

It doesn't stop people from saying things that are seriously discouraging:

- "Oh wow. Can't you lose it on your own without having surgery?"

- "I could NEVER do a liquid diet for that long."

- "Haven't people died getting that done?"

- "Awwww! Your surgery is the day of my party?? That sucks! We were having a Mexican food buffet too! I know that's your favorite. Well, at least you are missing for a good reason."

- "I'm fat too, but there is no way I would have surgery."

- "Let's go to {insert restaurant/bar here} before you have surgery since you wont be able to do it after that."

- "You know you can't have carbonated beverages the rest of your life, right?"

- "Don't people gain their weight back most of the time anyway?"

It's hard to tell if people are trying to make me feel bad about my decision because they don't understand it, or it they are jealous or just being downright hateful. I don't get it. I just needed to vent. Today was the hardest day I've had so far and I needed to get that off my chest. I keep telling myself that by this weekend it will all be over and I can start focusing on living a normal life again, just healthier this time.

The same exact reactions I got ... I also lost lots of friends. Lots of salty people! My own damn family .... but guess what??? When I post the new pictures on Instagram- the crowd went WILD. At least all the people who are happy for me, did... they can stay fat. It was the hardest and best decision of my life.