Body Dysmorphia - I don't get it and yet I have it. I see many people comment after they've lost their weight that they still feel like the fat girl. That they still see a fat girl in the mirror. They wonder if people are staring at them as they shop in the regular section of the clothing stores because they still feel like they should belong in the plus section.

This baffles me. I'm not trying to be rude. Its just that as a preop sleever, I experience the total opposite. I'm a skinny girl trapped in a plus size body. I'm constantly looking in the mirror and wondering why my body looks like a bloated version of how I feel I am. I get mildly insulted when someone says something to me about being a big girl or a plus sized girl (even if they were totally being kind and not rude at all).

I joke to my friends that I'm trans-thin. I seriously CAN'T WAIT to get the body my mind thinks I belong in.

But I guess what I'm questioning now is: doesn't everyone getting the surgery feel the same as me? That was my assumption. Am I alone in feeling this way? And more importantly - a year from now is my brain going to switch to the opposite body dysmorphia in some cruel joke?

Edited July 17, 20188 yr by KCgirl061

You have given me much to think about. I had a mental image that I was stocky then I looked in the mirror and realized I am really OBESE. Now I am wondering what size my mind will think I am after surgery? Until my clothes start to get loose,my pants fall down and my tops fall off one shoulder will be able to believe I am really losing weight? The main benefit I have seen with my pre surgery weight loss is my rump has gotten flatter, this is a mixed blessing because I can't stand hard furniture and wooden chairs anymore. Excuse me while I have a PLOM moment. PLOM stands for poor little old me. ?

I didn't really comprehend my size until I saw a video of myself. A static photo is one thing, but seeing my almost 300lb body walking, bending... or in my case sitting on a wooden porch swing next to my mother... is something I won't soon forget.

If seeing my huge body on video wasn't disturbing enough, during the video I heard the swing crack as soon as I sat down. I couldn't stand up fast enough! The thing is, I didn't want to sit down and actually told my sister (who was recording the video) so. I had a bad feeling and I didn't want to sit on that dumb swing. "Oh, go ahead and sit down beside Mom. It'll be fun."

Not only can I still picture my huge body sitting down on that porch swing, but I also have lingering and humiliating sound effects in my head, too.

Body dysmorphia + body dysphonia! = I WILL NEVER AGREE TO BE VIDEO-TAPED AGAIN.

The Greek root word phon means “sound.” It's a real word for an actual speech disorder; however, I made it up here to apply to my own embarrassing experience.

Edited July 21, 20188 yr by Missouri-Lee's Summit

I totally relate....with all of this. I see old pictures of myself and it freaks me out. I look so huge next to my husband and it will make me sad. I didnt realize how big i actually was. And not once did he ever say a word about getting bigger or gaining weight. Even now i have body issues....when i work out all i see is flabby skin. Even though i am pretty fit. And i see muscle definition. im always getting clothes that are way too big, and i still get nervous trying on clothes in a store...

Maybe it just takes some time for our minds to catch up.

In a way you had it nice Mr Monkey didn't say anything. I had the opposite situation I had a verbally abusive model that missed few opportunities to ridicule and degridate me for my size whole being 50 lbs most of time heavier and only slightly taller. Why did I put up with it? In hindsight, I got married in the 60s when we were told to suck it up, realize it was our lot in life and not to make waves. And having a husband was only goal we could have in life. Thank God things have changed, but it changed too late for me. But I am now me and you know, it's prettydoggone cool to live and lose the weight. ??❤

1 hour ago, Frustr8 said:

In a way you had it nice Mr Monkey didn't say anything. I had the opposite situation I had a verbally abusive model that missed few opportunities to ridicule and degridate me for my size whole being 50 lbs most of time heavier and only slightly taller. Why did I put up with it? In hindsight, I got married in the 60s when we were told to suck it up, realize it was our lot in life and not to make waves. And having a husband was only goal we could have in life. Thank God things have changed, but it changed too late for me. But I am now me and you know, it's prettydoggone cool to live and lose the weight. ??❤

Im so sorry! And you know its never too late to be happy! I hope things are better for you!

And i agree! Cool to live & lose weight!♡

I completely understand your perspective op! I’ve only been obese the past 5 years. It’s still shocking to see the way I look in the mirror and in pictures. It’s like my mind hadn’t made the connection until the past year of how truly large I was and that’s when I knew I needed to make a change.