I'm stuck...

[LauriDJ 15]

So I'm not sure where to put this post since it covers several different topics I guess

Before I had my gastric bypass last year, as you all know 1 of the things that you have to do is see the psychologist. So I went & seen her, and she basically took the wind out of my sails. I had a binge moment before my surgery & I made the mistake of telling her about it. She then told me that I had to read a book called End Emotional Eating. I don't emotional eat, but she told me that I had to read this book before she would give me the green light. So then I tried several times to read the book & I just could not get into the book at all. I ended up writing her a letter letting her know that I don't usually binge eat, and that I am NOT an emotional eater, and all that good stuff. Anyway she ended up giving me the green light, and I had my surgery last August.

What really upsets me is that I was doing great with the way that I was eating, and had lost weight, even with having quit smoking (I'm still smoke free & at the writing of this post I'm at day 456 (1 year 3 months). Thus far my lowest weight was 235, down from 281 on the day that I started my weight loss plan from the hospital. I had quit smoking on March 8, 2017 & I started my hospital diet on March 27, 2017. When she told me that I had to read that book, and she criticized me with stuff, she honestly threw me into a tail spin & I started cheating here & there, then fell off the wagon totally. Now don't get me wrong, when I had to do my pre-op & post-op diets I did them, with the exception of like the last 3 days of my final stage of my post op diet. We went out for Chinese with a friend of mine who's like my little brother. Unfortunately I guess that I had eaten too much & got sick.

Fast forward to now & I'm back up to 250, I'm having more chronic pain that I had been having, and I'm extremely depressed. Trust me, I'm not going to do anything dangerous to myself or others. We also have been having money problems, though as of today things will get a little better since my husband will be back to working 6 days a week, not sure how long that will last, but we will take advantage of all the hours that he's getting. Plus he's working for cash filling sand bags for a pipeline.

I NEED to get back on track. I can't keep doing this. We just got back on our medicaid insurance, and now that I've been approved for social security disability I'm just waiting to get on medicare. I want to find a counselor to talk to, but it's almost impossible to find someone that is taking new patients, or that will take medicaid. I just don't know what to do or how to do it. I sleep a good portion of my day, plus I'm drinking Cappuccino for Keurig, way too much of it. It's 70 calories per 8oz cup, and I'm drinking 6 or more per day because I'm sitting home constantly. My car is in the shop & hubby is using the car for working. Monday I have to get up at 7 to make sure that I get him to work by 7:30a.m., and I have no clue when I'm going to get my car back from the shop. I'm beginning to feel like I'm a prisoner in my own home & am just really frustrated. We don't have public transportation.

Needless to say, all in all, I just feel down, lonely, depressed, and frustrated with so much & I don't know which way to turn anymore.

Maybe i f I can find a buddy that I can be accountable to that would help me to get back on track? And I can help them to stay on track as well.

Thanks for hearing me out!

Lauri

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Lauri, sorry you are all kinds of frustrated. I hope you can find a therapist soon.

In the meantime, try to go back to basics like right after surgery. Protein and vegetables, Water, water, water. Use Baritastic to track food, water, and walking. The app is free. Walking is free.

STOP BUYING KEURIG flavored coffee, the caffeine is dehydrating and likely running you at full speed and then making you crash. Wean off the caffeine, do half and half Decaf, get some Toriani flavored syrups from Walmart and fake the flavored coffee, use Premier Protein caramel as Creamer.

Do you have hobbies? Take a community ed class - they are usually low cost, is there a knitting group or book club nearby, is there a Y where you can go swimming? You can meet new people.

Also that Psych eval was long ago, so I call BS on blaming her for your eating, just saying.....

You can do this, you know what you are doing wrong. Start now. Keep posting, I'll keep answering.

[GreenTealael 24,855]

Hi there walking even aimlessly around the house block neighborhood is a start

Edited June 8, 2018 by Tealael

[NancyD 3]

Just like there are good doctors out there.... there are good psychologists out there. It sounds like you got one that falls short of being supportive to your efforts to change and progress. You gave up smoking which is a BIG ONE and it shows you can do something once you set your mind to it. I have had the bypass as well and part of the learning process is to visually know what portion size is right and stop there instead of continuing to eat. I have found that if I don't do this, I end up eating too much and it doesn't hit me that I have overeaten until I am very uncomfortable. By any chance do you have a bicycle. You can go quite a ways with one and get out of the house, plus you get exercise doing so. I like to go to stores and look at clothes, actually look for deals. If you lock the bike, you will have a ride home. LOL.

From an emotional standpoint, you must not let the behavior of others dictate how you feel about yourself. This is probably the hardest thing to overcome, both as an overweight person and as we lose the weight. It is about respecting yourself, standing up for yourself, and when a psychologist (or anyone else for that matter) disrespects you or treats you poorly, tell them how it made you feel. If they don't acknowledge their shortfall, walk away. They have a problem. Promise me.....you will get back on track and begin to value YOU. It is the key to living.