I woke upthis morning on the verge of a panic attack. Yeah The Little Engine That Could feels like she's falling off her track. I reached out to another Bariatric program, went to their seminar, turned in my paperwork including a release of information form, signed up to be seen by their staff psychologist, but I don't know if I can stand waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. What if these people don't like me either? Can I emotionally stand another rejection? Help me to stay this course, to patiently wait, today this ole cowgirl's got herself in a blue funk. Help me see light,in this situation.[emoji8][emoji8]

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Hang in there lady! You have been through the wringer the last couple of months and your funk is legit. I recently read something I found helpful...

When you can't imagine next week because it's too big, too scary, focus on this week.

When you can't imagine this week because it's too big, too scary, focus on tomorrow.

When you can't imagine tomorrow because it's too big, too scary, focus on today.

When you can't imagine today because it's too big, too scary, focus on the next hour.

When you can't imagine the next hour because it's too big, too scary, focus on the next ten minutes.

Breathe, ground yourself. You have done all you can reasonably do. It's out of your hands at this point. For your sanity, find something to occupy your mind... walk, read (something not WLS related), watch a movie you can lose yourself in, go out.

*hugs*

Mrs Gamgee. you are sent by our God to me. You love me as I am, a flawed being straining towards Heaven. I will make it there someday and I pray I'll finish my Weight Loss Journey,here on earth before that. Now that I've read your kind words I think I'll walk outside in the Sunlight. I think while I was catering my own PLOM I should have remembered to walk in the Sonlight, because that's where I ought to be! I'm going to write off this meditation you shared with me in my journal, it's something to take to heart.[emoji307]

Bless you for being such a true friend!

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So sorry to read that you are facing such challenges. Always remember that God works in mysterious ways, we have to have faith and trust that the right thing is going to happen, at the right time.
Enjoy the little things, appreciate what you have, be thankful, be happy. Hope you enjoyed the sunlight, breath now and relax. You have been such a support to so many, hopefully we can be here for you too. Love and hugs [emoji847]

My original surgery was scheduled for December 22nd of last year. Let me tell you, after the appeals and such which were denied I was devastated. The rejection was very hard. It felt like my soul had been stomped on more than once. Then the second submittal being denied was even more soul crushing, then received a call 4 days after that that it was finally approved. Rollercoaster! I'm still convinced there was a mix up and i'll get there Wednesday and they'll say oh no, you really were denied. I also haven't had good luck with the classes I went to.

I do believe there is a reason for things. I don't know why in the heck bad things happen to good people but I believe also that we are stronger and better for it. This will happen for you, I really think it will. Just keep advocating for yourself, never give up!

Everything will work out. Sending positive vibes your way!!!

Thank You MzReality. I am hopeful things will turn around soon.

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Psych appointment April 25th,[emoji14] hopefully after that we can speed ahead![emoji14]

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One thing to always remember. There is only 1 person in this whole world that you have to answer to, and that's yourself. If at the end of your day, you can look yourself in the mirror and say that you did what you wanted, how you wanted and that you don't regret what *YOU* did... then you are good to go. It's not easy, by any means. But the opinions of others really don't matter if you are happy with yourself. Don't try to change you to make other's happy, be yourself at all times and if people can't deal with that... that's on them. You will find people to like you, just by being you. People do weird things all the time, make fun of people because something about that person makes them feel bad or something. People that don't / can't accept others have problems accepting themselves and are projecting.

I know it's tough, my youngest is on the spectrum, leaning towards Asperger's, so his social skills are much different. He gets made fun of often because he's too smart or too odd... but he doesn't even give those people a second thought.

Keep your head up, be proud of who you are and always be yourself no matter what.

Your excellent advice came on a day when I was on a low self confidence day. It is exactly what I need to hear. Thank you for also sharing about your son, I also am NeuroDiverse, something denied existence in my childhood, a female Aspie. Just another of the facets that make me, me! Sometimes I interpret too literally, subtle can escape me. And after being told I was inherently flawed most of my existence, it is difficult to believe I can be loved and accepted as I am. Difficult but no longer impossible! I will go back and read your kind words frequently and treasure them. I have a psychological 2 hour appointment April 25th in Columbus. I am apprehensive because of what I have alluded to but I must have faith I am enough sufficent to satisfy them. My road to surgery has been torturously bumpy but I shall not give up, not where I can see the goal ahead. And I remain with faith in *ME* when all else fails.

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I fee that same way today. I’m on the verge of surgery. Scheduled for this Wednesday. Still waiting for insurance approval. Tons of miss happenings with paperwork. My surgeon did an appeal we sent over hand filled out forms for my 6 month diet. Now fingers crossed. I should of heard Friday. I’ve called the office twice this morning and still nothing. So hard and frustrating when I have yet to get things I need because I still am not approved. Plus having to get my ride situated with taking days off work. I’m beyond stressed. And it’s killing me.