I don't know about the rest of you but we live in a world where finding love means swiping right and hoping for the best.

Hello I'm Stephanie, I'm 26 years old. I'm new to the site and would love to make some friends, text buddies, or pen pals.

So I'm what you would call Terminally Single, been that way for about 7 years now and I'm not sure it's ever going to change. It feels like the guys I'm into either A. don't want to be with a fat girl. B. are emotionally stunted, C. into weird fetishes (foodie/feeder I know I'm fat but that doesn't get my jollys off.) or D. Crazy, bat **** crazy.

Maybe I'm too picky, maybe I'm the crazy one, but I found it interesting to find this type of forum on this site. Color me intrigued!

16 hours ago, christysworld said:

Sad but true lol.

If it didn't come straight from you I would not believe it!!

Yes to all of this. I'm 36 and terminally single also. Like you, everyone I find is either way too into my extra weight (still werkin on it), has some other weird fetish that takes precedent over everything else, is a loony bin or likes to sleep around behind my back (I must say though, THAT is the worst). I haven't been on a date in over two years because I was just so disgusted with it all. I've been thinking about getting back into the pool, but I just don't know if I want to put myself through that right now. I might just wait until after my revision to even really think about it (Gastric Band has been bothersome, so trying to revise to sleeve). UGH! Hang in there y'all! Hopefully we'll all find our Mr./Ms. rights when the time comes...

I seriously am doubting that they do date anymore. Another date was set up and 2 hours before get a text not showing up as he was called back to work. At my age 61 and single siince 2005 I am beginning to thing my time for dating is over with.

On 10/4/2017 at 4:15 PM, ssflbelle said:

I seriously am doubting that they do date anymore. Another date was set up and 2 hours before get a text not showing up as he was called back to work. At my age 61 and single siince 2005 I am beginning to thing my time for dating is over with.

Oh, don't worry! It's not your age! I feel the same in my 30's. Dating in the 21st century is such a joke! No one seems to know how to communicate anymore, especially in person. Hang in there, though! There's bound to be at least one diamond in the rough! <3 (but it's depressing, for sure!)

Well as it turns out he really did have to work and we met today for 45 minutes for a cup of coffee in the morning. Later in the day I got a text saying he enjoyed our meeting and we would get together again. We shall if that is true.

Another terminal single here. It's been so long since I've been with anyone or dated that I'm actually afraid to count back the years to see how long its been (definitely more than 10!)

However, even when and if I get down to my goal weight and get some plastics done on the body parts that need it, I'm not sure that I'll ever find someone. The reality is for me in Japan is that Japanese men have never shown any interest in me (other than for sex - I can't tell you how many times I've been offered money in the past - I think it was because of my boobs and my overall confidence (I look people in the eye, smile, and say hello - just being friendly, but you can't do that as a woman here).) The foreign men here are mostly interested in Japanese women, if they're not already dating or married to one. And honestly, at my age (43), I think it would be hard to find anyone no matter where I was. I'm so used to being invisible that its just the way it is for me.

On 21/09/2017 at 4:52 AM, StephersSweet said:

I'm new to the site and would love to make some friends, text buddies, or pen pals.

Stephanie,

I am not in search of any intimate relationship for three reasons: (a) already happily married, (b) at least 15000km separation between Newcastle, Australia and NY ... AND (c) you're around a decade younger than our five kids.

If, in light of all that, you'd like an older (but not elderly) male's support and the chance to bounce ideas, etc., you're welcome to ask.

My comment in relation to your original post is to say, "get the mechanics of your weight loss and surgery happening and revisit relationship thoughts some months into the future.

Reach out if you feel the need. The worst I can do is offer an opinion or answer a question frankly.

Best wishes!

You know what I tell my daughters?

Dating means "practicing" - first practicing being friends and if he is not interested in you as a person then he is not worth it. Second it means practicing good boundaries, establishing what you expect in a relationships such as no drugs or someone who is a hard worker and has a job. Third it means practicing being in a relationship, learning to love the person for who they are (nobody is perfect but you are still setting boundaries), learning how to be in a healthy relationship and weed out the toxicity, learning to argue and communicate ...... finding someone who shares the same religious beliefs, sexual boundaries or openess, who shares the same financial beliefs (hard to find lol).

That is what dating someone means...long term dating. In the short term dating means you are weeding out and setting those boundaries (like no foodies and druggies).

Look, this is coming from someone who was married THREE times. First time I expected perfection (not going to happen) and I left him, the second one left me because he expected perfection, and the third one I met on plentyoffish dot com and trust me I weeded out a ton of people. If any guy talked about sex (not that I am not an extremely open person) I immediately did not talk to him again. My husband was one the only one of many who showed a great deal of respect towards me and agreed to friends first - so I could learn to trust him. 10 years later - I am still in love and just this morning he said being married has never been easier and I agree. Since this is both our third marriage we have had learned a lot from our past.

And another that helped me was that I was single for a period of time. Being a single mother and doing it on my own I found a great deal of independence and learned to love myself and figure out who I am during my time alone. It was good to be able to be strong again once I met my husband.

Hang in there, girl, practice and ye shall find the right one.

Ok. Guys don't lose hope!!! I met my wonderful husband at age 41 and have been married 20 years. It is a second marriage for both of us, and if someone with 4 teen kids can find a partner so can you!!!!!

Wait until you have figured out how to live with the new lifestyle to venture out dating. Join some clubs - biking, hiking, volunteering at humane society, dance lessons, archery, political groups, VFW, golf, an investment group, conservation organization, take community college course, Renaissance fairs (who wouldn't have fun dressed like a wench!), other interests that have a mixed group of people. You just need to expand your circle more. And when you do - set standards for how you want to be treated. I made it clear when I met the hubs that I do not introduce men to my kids, so unless you are sticking around long term that won't happen.

If you needed a job, you wouldn't give up applying, you would network, or advance your skills, widen the area of submitting resumes. You have to be your own head hunter these days.

11 minutes ago, Sosewsue61 said:

If you needed a job, you wouldn't give up applying, you would network, or advance your skills, widen the area of submitting resumes. You have to be your own head hunter these days.

Nifty analogy. Well put!

I feel like I went through a lot of emotional changes after losing 150#. I think you really need to be in a good headspace to have success in dating and love.

I am in my 50s. finding a compatible man with a mutual attraction and good match lifestyle wise is very very hard. I have made a friend (not dating) with someone I like spending time with, but due to a variety of reasons - I don't see it as a long term future. A big one is he is 13 years my senior and has some pretty serious health issues. Story of my middle aged single life. I am thinking I may wind up single. I have been in 2 long term relationships in my life, one of them a marriage - maybe I am just not cut out for that in spite of the fact that I want to be part of a couple.

I dated the same guy for 21 years, never got married. Been single for 4 years now. Don’t plan on dating again.

I think dating is really important even after marriage.

First, I'm sorry you feel "single is terminal". I met my husband (on line) and was at my normal low weight. I did have lots of health issues, which deterred him not one bit. I usually disclose early in relationships & friendships, because its genetic/hereditary and includes 70% risk of 7 types of cancer. I've had 4 so far....

That said, he was not looking for long term, just friendship as was I. However, it surprisingly and quickly became the love of our lives, and he's still my best friend.

He was, however, outside my "parameters" in terms of age and distance. My point is, just trust that life will move you along where you want to be, and be the person you are inside, which is worthy of love, and beautiful! Yeah, I'm a mom to 4 "adult kids" so prone to advice.

If you want an old lady friend, I'm here

Dating at any age is difficult. At age 68 my husband of 39 year passed away. It was a difficult year during his illness. fortunately I had lapband surgery in 2013 and lost 70 lbs. It gave me the energy and mental ability to deal with his illness and I was able to care for him until he passed away. I had no intention to date or get romantically involved with anyone. Felt like I was too old . I went to the gym and helped with my grandkids and felt life was going to be a lonely time for me. I was invited to a charity poker club and started playing twice a week. I met a man who was single had been divorced for many years. We spoke some at the poker club , he asked one of the other guys if I was single. He asked me out to dinner and the next week was my birthday (70) he came and now we are together. He makes me feel so young and happy. I believe dating and being happy is about your attitude but you have to feel good about yourself first. If I had not had surgery and lost my weight, I doubt I would have had the courage to get involved with anyone. He knows I had WLS and is proud of me. He tells me I am beautiful every day. Keep working on yourself then get involved in a activity where you could possibly find someone special.