Did weight loss surgery change your relationship with your spouse/ boy-girlfriend in a goos or bad way?

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Nom

I'm going to be extremely extremely honest here. This is actually going to be really hard for me to say. I think the weight loss surgery can change the relationship in both good and bad ways. I've seen/heard a lot of people break up or get divorced after the surgery and I wondered why. I'm only 2 months post op and having relationship issues and I'm starting to have an epiphany. Do I love my boyfriend? YES. However, now that i'm losing the weight and gaining my confidence back...sometimes I ask myself, was I settling for less than what I deserve because I didn't think I could find better? Did I let my weight and my body determine how I should be loved for the last three years and accept things I didn't deserve in the relationship because I thought I was not worthy of better love because, who would want me? My boyfriend thinks I will leave him once I get thinner. I had a friend who had the surgery years before me and told me "don't let a man keep you fat to keep you around". So when my boyfriend tells me I don't need to lose more weight, her words come into my mind...maybe he wants me bigger so that I don't leave...My hormones are also going crazy right now since surgery and I'm emotional and crazy some days and we fight so hard that i'm just emotional drained and exhausted and don't have the energy to fight for my relationship some days.

On the other hand, this surgery has done some good for my relationship as well. Each time my boyfriend notices my body is changing and I'm getting a little smaller, the way he looks at me...with pride, and love and appreciation and always tells me how beautiful I am and am becoming...it makes me happy. He saw my strength after surgery and how brave I was. I think he's falling in love with me even deeper than before after my weight loss surgery, however, I don't know if I can say the same.

There's days where we are so connected and I am so freaking in love with the man, and then there's other days where I feel like walking away.

There were issues before the surgery but I think i'm now opening up my eyes as I'm coming into my new skin and just don't want to accept the sh*tty things for the rest of my life.

We deserve happiness. We deserve unconditional love. We deserve the absolute best. Our sizes shouldn't determine the size of happiness we think we should get.

I'm going to be extremely extremely honest here. This is actually going to be really hard for me to say. I think the weight loss surgery can change the relationship in both good and bad ways. I've seen/heard a lot of people break up or get divorced after the surgery and I wondered why. I'm only 2 months post op and having relationship issues and I'm starting to have an epiphany. Do I love my boyfriend? YES. However, now that i'm losing the weight and gaining my confidence back...sometimes I ask myself, was I settling for less than what I deserve because I didn't think I could find better? Did I let my weight and my body determine how I should be loved for the last three years and accept things I didn't deserve in the relationship because I thought I was not worthy of better love because, who would want me? My boyfriend thinks I will leave him once I get thinner. I had a friend who had the surgery years before me and told me "don't let a man keep you fat to keep you around". So when my boyfriend tells me I don't need to lose more weight, her words come into my mind...maybe he wants me bigger so that I don't leave...My hormones are also going crazy right now since surgery and I'm emotional and crazy some days and we fight so hard that i'm just emotional drained and exhausted and don't have the energy to fight for my relationship some days.

On the other hand, this surgery has done some good for my relationship as well. Each time my boyfriend notices my body is changing and I'm getting a little smaller, the way he looks at me...with pride, and love and appreciation and always tells me how beautiful I am and am becoming...it makes me happy. He saw my strength after surgery and how brave I was. I think he's falling in love with me even deeper than before after my weight loss surgery, however, I don't know if I can say the same.
There's days where we are so connected and I am so freaking in love with the man, and then there's other days where I feel like walking away.
There were issues before the surgery but I think i'm now opening up my eyes as I'm coming into my new skin and just don't want to accept the sh*tty things for the rest of my life.
We deserve happiness. We deserve unconditional love. We deserve the absolute best. Our sizes shouldn't determine the size of happiness we think we should get.

Thanks for sharing!!!!! My boyfriend also says the same thing he feels that i will leave him once i get thinner

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After being married to the same wonderful, patient woman for almost thirty years now I can tell you there are always going to be emotional ups and down. Yes there were times when we thought about calling it quits, but we are both glad we worked it out instead. Keep in mind there are people out there who spend most of there life searching for there someone special, and some never find it. So enjoy the relationship you have and never take it for granted. The person you are with found the good in you, when you felt no one else could or would, that should count for something don`t ya think

I think if the relationship is wrong those problems become more self-evident as you lose weight. It shifts the dynamic around and brings things that have always been there to the surface. If your relationship is strong and balanced then there's nothing here that's going to shake it. (And by balanced I don't mean 50/50 on everything. Balanced means supporting each other and understanding that things have to tip 80/20 sometimes without the world falling apart.)

@Waler you make a good point.

Edited September 7, 20179 yr by sleevedshereen

I think this really depends on how strong your relationship was before surgery. My husband is my rock and my best friend. We are in it till death do us part.