How has your life changed for the better?

[Half-Tum 404]

I am new and a few weeks away from my surgery. I've been looking at before and after pictures and of course I am wowed and motivated and excited.

What I'd also like to know is if you could share stories about how the weight loss has effected your life; From the most mundane thing to the most amazing.

Feelings that are different, little things that you realize have changed, big things you realized have changed, things that are easier, things that are harder, how people treat you differently or not...anything like this is what i'm interested in if you're interested in sharing.......

[Paul Bahr 73]

• The pain in my back (like it's on fire or splitting in half) is gone.
• I walk taller, straighter.
• I look for opportunities to walk farther instead of circling the parking lot to find the absolutely closest parking spot
• Libido is through the roof - wife can't keep up
• Shopping for clothes is exciting rather than drudgery. I'm almost in sizes carried by regular stores (Walmart, Target, etc.) instead of having to go the DXL or other Big & Tall stores.
• I fit better into things - went to get my hair cut and actually had room in the chair. Fit into booths in restaurants better.
• I'm more active, riding my bicycle again.

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

- sleep better

- On less meds that gave me side effects such as depression, tiredness, etc.

- Less weight means less pressure on my back so a lot less pain dealing with my L5/S1 fracture

- Used to not be able to walk 50-100ft without being out of breath, now can walk miles and never be out of breath

- More active in life, playing more with my daughter, doing a lot more physical activity

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

My life has changed for the better but losing weight just trades some problems for different ones.

Negative:

• People treat me differently. I would write a dissertation about it.
• Shifting identity was hard to deal with (I also had a lot of other life changes in the same time period so it all piled up)
• Loose skin (although that is getting better/more normalized)
• I hate shopping. I have to try every single thing I buy on and there are too many variations in womens sizing. I used to love shopping and was a shopaholic and now I just find it annoying.
• I have so few clothes when I had closets of clothes, tons of shoes, and lots of beautiful winter coats
• Replacing every single thing that touches my body, everything from jewelry, clothing, shoes, purses, towels, to socks were too large.

Positive:

• I fit everywhere. I don't have to think about if a chair can hold me or if I can slide in a booth. Airplane seats are comfortable
• I have boundless energy. sleeping is just basically an annoyance to me
• I sleep deeply, and wake up entirely refreshed, and I need very little sleep
• I can keep up with everyone else and lead, being active on vacations
• I am outdoors more, which I love
• My lap dog has a lot more lap to work with
• Everything I own that touches my body is new
• I have to shop all the time because I am still constantly changing and need things
• i enjoy time with people so much more because I am less focused on food (dinner is about the companionship not the food)
• People treat me differently

[Navigating the Wilderness 824]

The previous posters have it pretty much covered for me, but I will add one more:

• Finding Bariatric Pal and connecting with awesome people who have gone through the same thing I have!

[Half-Tum 404]

2 hours ago, Paul Bahr said:

• The pain in my back (like it's on fire or splitting in half) is gone.
• I walk taller, straighter.
• I look for opportunities to walk farther instead of circling the parking lot to find the absolutely closest parking spot
• Libido is through the roof - wife can't keep up
• Shopping for clothes is exciting rather than drudgery. I'm almost in sizes carried by regular stores (Walmart, Target, etc.) instead of having to go the DXL or other Big & Tall stores.
• I fit better into things - went to get my hair cut and actually had room in the chair. Fit into booths in restaurants better.
• I'm more active, riding my bicycle again.

Yes! That's what I'm talking about. Perfect response. Really gives me some insights! Great for yo!

[Half-Tum 404]

1 hour ago, OutsideMatchInside said:

My life has changed for the better but losing weight just trades some problems for different ones.

Negative:

• People treat me differently. I would write a dissertation about it.

Positive:

• People treat me differently

Would like to hear more about this dichotomy.....

[jess9395 5,448]

This is a GREAT thread. Lots of good insights.

Yes on people treating you differently! I hadn't truly realized how invisible I was when I was fat! Now people make eye contact, smile, approach and offer assistance... but they also hit on me (despite my obvious wedding ring)!

I love shopping now. I can find things that fit anywhere I go. Which is wonderful but as has been said, expensive to replace EVERYTHING!

I'm active and run marathons. I play and participate in life (water slides, zip lines, trampoline parks) with my kids rather than sitting on the sidelines watching.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

6 hours ago, Half-Tum said:

Would like to hear more about this dichotomy.....

In general people were nicer to me when I was fat. They talked to me more, everything. People still talk to me, but not as much as they used to. They will just say I am pretty or something but they don't try to actively engage me in conversation as much.

I never had problems with Men, I could always pull them. but random men are just super nice to me. They go out of their way, like I can be in the middle of the parking lot and they will stand at the door holding the door open for me, waiting for me to walk up there, I'm talking like I'm on the far edge of the handicap spots. Still I had more guys ask me out in person when I was larger. Men won't talk to me in public that much unless they are older or younger than me, it is like I am invisible to men my own age (I look about 10 years younger than my age to most people), but they approach me in droves online.

Women are not as nice to me, flat out. I could write a lot about that, but I don't really feel like revisiting it. When i was fat I wasn't a threat and women were nicer to me. Now I get met with a lot of outright hostility. I wear 3 to 4 inch heels pretty much all the time unless I am walking my dog and that seems to be some kind of hate crime to other women. I don't get it but, I get snide comments about it pretty often. If I want to get heels to the grocery store, that is my business.

I'm aggressive and assertive, always have been. When I was fat that didn't seem to bother people much but now that I am smaller it is like I am Cersei Lannister.

[Half-Tum 404]

Wow, that's pretty interesting. Seems like a total switch or reversal of what I thought would happen - but it makes sense.

Are there any guys here that can kinda give a man who had the sleeve perspective on the same thing?

[Half-Tum 404]

4 hours ago, jess9395 said:

I love shopping now. I can find things that fit anywhere I go. Which is wonderful but as has been said, expensive to replace EVERYTHING!

Kind of problem I WANT to have. Just buying clothes at Target, who doesn't go above guys XL, would be friggin sweet.

[jess9395 5,448]

In general people were nicer to me when I was fat. They talked to me more, everything. People still talk to me, but not as much as they used to. They will just say I am pretty or something but they don't try to actively engage me in conversation as much.
I never had problems with Men, I could always pull them. but random men are just super nice to me. They go out of their way, like I can be in the middle of the parking lot and they will stand at the door holding the door open for me, waiting for me to walk up there, I'm talking like I'm on the far edge of the handicap spots. Still I had more guys ask me out in person when I was larger. Men won't talk to me in public that much unless they are older or younger than me, it is like I am invisible to men my own age (I look about 10 years younger than my age to most people), but they approach me in droves online.
Women are not as nice to me, flat out. I could write a lot about that, but I don't really feel like revisiting it. When i was fat I wasn't a threat and women were nicer to me. Now I get met with a lot of outright hostility. I wear 3 to 4 inch heels pretty much all the time unless I am walking my dog and that seems to be some kind of hate crime to other women. I don't get it but, I get snide comments about it pretty often. If I want to get heels to the grocery store, that is my business.
I'm aggressive and assertive, always have been. When I was fat that didn't seem to bother people much but now that I am smaller it is like I am Cersei Lannister.

Interesting! That has NOT been my experience. But perhaps it's because I am not and never have been aggressive/assertive! Maybe that's a personality people like better in larger women and they like smaller women quieter and more reserved (which was me before and after). Because my experience has been the opposite of yours.

Would be a very interesting thing to try and sort out!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

1 minute ago, jess9395 said:

Interesting! That has NOT been my experience. But perhaps it's because I am not and never have been aggressive/assertive! Maybe that's a personality people like better in larger women and they like smaller women quieter and more reserved (which was me before and after). Because my experience has been the opposite of yours.

Would be a very interesting thing to try and sort out!

I'm friendly, outgoing, and I have never been shy. I have a big personality and I always talk to people, make eye contact and engage in conversation.

My friends have theories. I try not to think about it too much and just live in the moment because it makes me crazy when I think about it.

The current working theory is, when I was huge, the fact I did my make up, wore nice clothes and had nice designer accessories and big hair was viewed as "ohh how nice, she is till trying" "good for you big girl". Now that I am "normal" size it is more like who does this B*$%^# think she is.

People discount overweight people a lot. I don't ever think I was invisible before but I was non-threatening. Basically I had to realize that previously people didn't value me that much in general. Prior to surgery I might have been worth $.65 on the dollar, but now it is like $.90 cents on the dollar.

Also, yeah it is nice to be able to buy clothes anywhere. I had a great time recently shopping on vacation. I was able to buy random thing at the street vendor and not have to worry about them fitting me. One size fits all actually applies to me now. Still when shopping in stores, because sizing is not standardized for women, trying everything on is really annoying. Plus sizes are more standardized because their are fewer vendors. Vanity sizing in normal sizes is insane.

[jess9395 5,448]

Interesting!

Re the clothing size... yeah the sizes vary, but I can typically see when I grab something off the rack if it's gonna fit. I can eyeball which 4's will fit and which won't. I could never do that when I was larger. And more 4's fit me than don't. Perhaps it's the brands I chose.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I think it is the brands and time. You are a lot further out from surgery than me. I am still adjusting to how small my clothes are now. I am getting better at guessing what fits and what doesn't but I have only been semi stable at this size a few months.