...but I was banded on 9/28 and I haven't been sticking to the fluids. I am so ashamed that I am so weak, but it's been really difficult for me for some reason. I was on medifast before the surgery to drop some weight, and I think that doing that on/off for a month before and now having to go back to fluids again is driving me bananas. I just want to feel some texture in my mouth, to have that full feeling in my stomach again. Instead, I always feel sick afterward. You'd think I'd learn but I've already cheated about 3 times since my surgery on Friday. The first time was Sunday night, I had probably the worst thing I could have - a spoonful of peanut butter!! Then yesterday, I had a cracker and cheese in my Soup, and today I ate a small package of crackers! What is wrong with me? Why am I such a failure? I'm really embarrassed to admit this and it really makes me question what my long-term success will be with the band. It is very unlike me to be so weak! I went on a liquid fasting diet twice for more than two months in the past, not to mention all the other restrictive diets we have put ourselves in the past.

Has anybody gone through this? Does anybody have any advice for getting back on track? I seem to have the mentality now that I've already screwed up so what's the point on being diligent?

Thanks in advance for your help and sorry for my ranting... Thanks for listening.

Well, I understand the urge to do what you have done. Trust me..I felt the same way. What stopped me from acting on it was the fear that I would do some sort of damage. In my mind (may or may not be the truth...but I believed it to be Gospel!!!) I thought that any food might be damaging the stiches, stomach etc.. It might be something I couldn't see, but it would be getting ruined because of what I ate.

You are in the worst time period. I cried constantly and was NOT fun to be around....but it is over before you know it and you'll be on mushies soon.

No-one can say anything to make you stop, you just have to choose to do it for yourself.

Best of luck,

Rain

Thanks for your response, Rain. I know you're right, too, I need to just make the decision for myself to stop cheating. I hope that it's not too late and that I haven't already done long-term damage to myself.

Thanks for your encouragement. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one who struggled through this time.

Same here.. I was terrified of 'not making it work'...I didn't want my band to slip, or the stitches to rip out, I had horrible visions of what that would be like in my head, and it kept me on the straight and narrow.

That being said.. I was allowed jell-o on my clear liquid phase.

Did your doctor say you could have that? It's a pretty nice treat.

And it's time to get back on the saddle! MOVE ON!

And though I don't encourage this as a lifestyle, one of my weaker moments when I just HAD TO HAVE SOMETHING..

my DH had pizza.. and I don't even LIKE pizza.. but it was calling my name. So I took the crust from a piece he had eaten, and I just sucked on it/chewed on it...then spit it out.. I rinsed my mouth out afterward so I wouldn't swallow any crumbs (again, terrified of the prospect of losing the band), but it tied me over for the unbearable urges.

I found that having drinks of hot chicken or beef broth made me feel more like I had just had a meal than anything cold did.

Hot drinks - yes. I tried Hot Cocoa and that made me fell "fuller."

Remember, the first few weeks aren't about losing weight, they're about healing on the inside. So if you put on a pound or two, that's okay in the bigger picture. You do want to start some of those good habits, but it's hard to turn a boat on a dime.

Give yourself a break - your body's gone through a bunch!! You'll be fine. Just don't make a habit of it.

I know exactly what you are going through. I was banded on 9/12 and have "cheated" way more than you. I know we just have that desire to taste good food, and the liquid thing is not good food. You will be fine, just start over tomorrow and a lot of what we are doing, is mind over matter. Try to distract yourself with a hobby or go outside. Whatever it takes.

Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself.

220/197/145

highest/now/goal

Banded 9/12/07

Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate all your encouragement and advice. I will try the hot drinks and see if that makes a difference.

I'm really glad that there is a forum like this where we can receive support from each other.

Thanks, I really needed to hear your kind words...

Be very careful. Crackers turn into mushy so you are probably okay. But my doctor chewed me out big time when I told him I had eaten after surgery. You can rip out your stitches. Stick to creamy soups that seems to do the trick for me.

I was told a couple of horror stories about people who ate right after their surgery by my doctor, so I didn't do it.

Unfortunately, the only way to get back on track is to "just do it".