hello everyone .... And thanks for sticking around. From someone that's been on this site for a long time.... Since 2009.... from time to time a change is needed.... We should never let a few bad apple spoil the whole bunch.

Never is it ok to allow any person/persons to make anyone feel bullied, belittled, unimportant, dumb... Etc. We are all here for basically the same reason.... To be with people that have been in our shoes... We all started at the same place. We were all obese and looking to make a change in our lives for the better. We found this site looking for answers. Answers to questions no matter how large or small. I'm sure if you thought of the question... someone else is thinking it too but may be afraid to ask. NO ONE has all the answers.

So I say.... ask... I'm sure someone here may have an answer... if not, must of us will say... Check with your DR.

So stick around... there are still plenty of the Vet's here with years and years of experience, knowledge and advice to give. Lots of amazing people here with amazing success stories to aspire too...

I'm not going to say the thought of leaving didn't cross my mind... it did. I was going to only because i didn't like the drama..... Then that night I got a PM asking if a member could share my Before/Afters with a coworker... I said sure and the next message was how encouraged he said she was to start her very own journey. THAT.. makes it all worth it... so I stay to try and encourage those who are to come behind me, like I was encouraged all the years ago...

@@bayougirlmrsc you're ok for somebody who has been around for almost 8 years. LOL

i tip my hat and say ...... Thank you

@bayougirlmrsc Thanks for posting this. I'm sticking around. This place was my "go-to" before my surgery. You were one of the first people to speak to me here on BP. I saw you taking some 'crap' from certain people not too long ago, crap you didn't deserve. I'm glad you didn't leave.

@@Malin Thanks darling... I appreciate you sticking around. We've got some really great people here.... New and Vets. Not everyone will agree with what we say... and that's great, because what a boring world this would be..... But, there is such a thing a Couth... I know i have been guilty of falling down to levels of others and lashing out.... But the most important thing to remember is EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion , but no one is deserving of feeling bullied, belittled, or made to feel stupid. And that exactly what some were doing.... and yes i was one of the ones they targeted. And yes i lashed back called names.... but i also apologized and dropped it.... Not only because it was the right thing to do.... but Alex called me down on it and asked me to refrain from engaging. So I did.

anyway.... Thanks

We seem to be compliant vets. I have no beef with anyone here and it is much kinder and less harpy and sexual now that Alex cleaned house. I am thankful.

I'm certainly not a true "vet" yet.....just a little over 8 months post-op, but I met my goal weight a little over a month ago and I plan on sticking around. I have always believed you can give proper advice without stomping on someone's feelings.....Any time I respond to someone, before I click the "post" button, I read what I've said. There is NEVER a reason to be snarky with anyone. That doesn't mean I'm going to tell someone it's okay to eat a pizza 3 days after surgery....but I'm also not going to tell them they are stupid for thinking they can.

Happy Friday everyone!!

@@kmorri exactly....

I'm so glad to read this thread and see that there are still a bunch of "vets" out there sticking around for us newbs! Thank you SO much - I love to read through archives, but I know I will need plenty of current peeps around to answer my own questions, too. I JUST joined the site in December, and read a ton of stuff, but somehow I missed the kerfuffle a few weeks ago. I came back the last few days and noticed while reading through threads that people's profile photos were gone, names weren't "clickable," etc. I was so confused until I finally found Alex's post that explained it so I'm more in the loop now!

I have to say, I'm new to this forum but not to forums in general. I tend to see it both ways... on any forum there is usually a core group of vets (or "regs" as they are usually called) that make up the bulk of the posting and set the terms of the culture. They tend to see it as "their" board because of the time they dedicate to posting and building a community. Unfortunately sometimes the culture that builds up isn't exactly what the board admins want, particularly if the board is part of a bigger brand. One of the forums I'm a member of dealt with this issue by just removing the link to the forums from their website altogether. LOL. It's kinda funny, actually, we hardly ever get new members anymore which cuts down on the drama! Better for the blood pressure, bad for the gossip factor.

Anyway, even being out of the loop of the "regs" I did notice some extremely presumptive tough-love going around... I'm sure it gets old for the vets to say the same thing multiple times but part of being a member of a forum is realizing how many people never read a single thing before posting - they have a question, they register an account, they post the question. They don't know that four posts down you just told someone the same darn thing for the umpteenth time this week. So, jumping down someone's throat right away simply for asking a question (even if it's, admittedly, a stupid or reckless one) tends to create drama and then people choose sides and jump in to argue it until the house burns down. Believe me, I'm very used to a blunt tone from my previous forum experience and even I had to raise my eyebrows multiple times per visit to BP. That said, I appreciated the actual message of the tough love even if I thought the tone was overly aggressive, and I feel I am armed much better for the battle to come because of those posts.

However, I also think it's Alex's prerogative to call the shots, particularly as he is a WLS professional with colleagues in the medical community. Protecting your brand is very important - it's not just about your revenue but your goodwill and reputation in the particular community you are trying to reach out to. I cringed when I read that some of his colleagues remarked about the negative feedback they had heard from patients about BP. Ouch... there's too much invested into this website to allow that to continue. He makes the rules and we have to play by them. And, I personally did not see reading the PM's as a big deal - but, that is maybe because I am a longtime redditor, where there is absolutely no expectation of privacy from the admins.

So, like I said, I see it both ways. I see why people were upset and left, and I see why Alex put his foot down. I'm sad that there was a mass exodus of knowledgeable people - but I am so glad to read this post and realized many of you have stayed, and maybe we can use the kerfuffle as a reset button to build up another great, solid community here.

Thanks for letting me ramble!

@@Little Green hell i like your post better than mine..... Great job. I think there is always a way of getting your point across with out degrading someone else. Sure the site is quieter.... but, so much more relaxed. I could not have said anything better than you did.

Thanks for sticking around....

Chris

The site is not really quiet in the sense of "inactive". There is a bunch of new posts every time I visit.

LittleGreen is right: lets move on.

I am so tardy to the party!!!!! So I've been gone since around November except to check in on the weight loss challenges but no real activity. I recently started lurking around a couple days ago and noticed some changes. Like in the site itself... also the fact that we can no longer add status updates. So I thought hmmm.... Then I noticed certain people that usually commented on everything--- there were no comments so I did a little investigating and I don't know what happened 1/14 but it sounds like all hell broke loose. Anyways not here to stir the pot... I'm just blown away by the shake up.

I've been around about 4 months now and I've had no run ins with anyone, but I did notice the "tough love" and would sometimes avoid posts where some of the people involved were commenting. I try to post positively and supportively. People aren't always going to be honest about their downfalls and if they are being honest about them we should be trying to lift them up and not be condescending or degrading. I miss some of the more light hearted posts, but I enjoy the feel of this site better than before. Just my .02

For what its worth, I've been on this site since 2010 when it was lapband talk. This site is full of very valuable insights, experiences and information and tons of helpful information keeping me in check, however, I stopped coming here about 2 years ago due the very ugly attitudes coming from a handful of veterans. I would pop in every so often and read a little and to my dismay would see nothing was changing and the ugliness continued. I found some very useful support pages on facebook, however, facebook is not in a forums format such as this site, thus, searching for questions/information on facebook is difficult. I really missed this site, however, it was getting really bad! If the bad apples were banned or if they have changed their tone, I, will try this site again. Thanks for posting this. If I had not seen this post, I would have never come back to ask any questions. I posted a question to another forum concerning GERD and am looking forward to getting some feedback from here again. jake

Totally and 100% agree. <3 I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon, either.

Thanks for all the comments. It helps to know that I'm not alone. I'm 67 years young and 100 lbs overweight. I've gone from a chubby teen with a nice smile and great personality to a mother/grandmother who prided myself in being full figured and curvaceous. But the truth finally has me saying that I'm morbidly obese and will not live to see my grandchildren reach their dreams. So, I'm in the testing preop phase of my journey. Every day I focus on what I need to do, have patience, be humble enough to ask for help and listen to what works. My faith will be a strong force for me through this. I'm a pro at dieting...I now want to be a grateful woman who is blessed to have found what I need to live life. All that I've read by everyone has helped me. And maybe I can pass along to someone else the gift I have received.