No alarm necessary today. My anxious mind woke up at 3am with anticipation of this surgery day. No thoughts really, just visions of closing my eyes on the operating table and opening them in a foreign room, foreign country... what am I thinking? How irresponsible my mom would think I was, my friends would think it's superficial, my husband thinks of the cost...

And as I sit here in the airport, staring at gate H7, I reflect on those thoughts and have 2 hours of alone time before boarding my flight. What is this small town girl thinking? I'm flying to freaking Mexico for a surgery I scheduled and planned less than two weeks ago. That's how I roll... too much planning makes me feel lost in needless details characteristic of my right brained mind. Think. Think. What am I doing here?

My anxiety should have had me in the bathroom by now, but I feel calm. Peaceful. Thankful.

I hated the week of fasting-liquid diet. And now, I feel satisfaction in dominating my cravings while secretly wanting to throat punch noisy sandwich bag guy three chairs down from me. food has bound my soul for so many long years and my reflection feels like an escape. Being stuck on food island, deserted and alone... I used to daydream about life as I'd want it to be and now I have every hope that it can happen.

What am I thinking? I smile. I feel comfort. Peace. Love... for myself. I've never said that before. Then again, I've never made myself a priority--always put others first and care way too much what others think, feel and say. Today, it's all about me. And I think I'm going to love me!

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@@redheadjo you are a courageous woman!!! Your doing what you feel is best for you and your family (in my opinion) healthier you = Better mother and wife. When my mom had her surgery done we all worried but I knew it would make her feel better and it did. Now 13 years later she's able to go bike riding with her grandkids out walking hiking and camping with us. She would never have been able to do that before she was out of breath just walking up the steps. Keep your faith and keep pushing! You GOT THIS!!!! I wish you the BEST! and I'll keep you in my prayers : )

@@redheadjo Safe travels and praying for a quick and speedy recovery! This is a very exciting and terrifying adventure to go on, but knowing its something you are doing to better yourself that you are doing for yourself..... that is an awesome feeling! Enjoy doing this for YOU because ultimately caring for yourself and health first makes you better in all aspects of your life and helps you be able to give more to those around you. You go girl

Congrats on taking this important step in your life to become healthy!! Prayers for you and a speedy recovery sent you way.

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Truley inspirational I think you have put yourself first for once and now look forward to starting the process of the new you. Hope it goes well. I will keep looking to see how you are doing Take Care x

@redheadjo Brava! you might be alone on the plane, but you aren't alone really! We're all here with ya! I was like you--I decided in ONE DAY I was going to get this done. I didn't even tell my husband until after I went to the first consult. I'm a self pay, and thank goodness, I think I'd go bat-poo bonkers if I had to wait 6 more months to wait for insurance to bless this. I love Mexico, personally. I spent a week in Guadalajara to go to an immersive Spanish school. You have an excellent doctor from what I've read about him. Thanks for sharing your moment with us and best of luck!

wow this brought tears to my eyes.

GO YOU!!!

Congratulations on getting your life back, and making yourself a priority! You have tons of courage and I can tell you are going to be very successful in your journey.

Safe travels and best wishes for fast healing!

That was pretty amazing and funny! Thank you for sharing!! Safe travels and healing wishes!!

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You are brave and strong! We're all rooting for you!!

Speaking of noisy sandwich guy (lmao), as I sat in the airport before flying to Mexico, I realized that my gate was between Krispy Kreme donuts and Rocky Mtn chocolate . Really, universe?? I actually laughed and took a picture. No way was I going to be wheeled into surgery for them to find a frickin' donut in my gut!! Plus, I worked too hard on the 3 wk pre-op! I still found it ironic, though!

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I am at Oasis Hospital now. All checked in and in my gown. Down 12 pounds in a week and nothing to eat all day... doesn't even phase me. I will update when I can! Thank you for all the well wishes! See you all on the other side!

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Good luck!!

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Well, it's beginning of day 2 post op and I can say I'm fairly comfortable. The first 4 hours or so were a little rough right out of surgery, but the entire staff here is amazing. The hospitals I have used in the states could learn a thing or two. In fact, I have no doubt I would come to Mexico for any medical care because insurance is so awful for us. The hospital is clean, friendly people, cold ice chips for Breakfast are the bomb! Lol

Really, I am sore but it's not as bad as I expected. Will update when I can.

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