Hi everyone! I've recently been cleared for surgery (sleeve gastrectomy) and arranged a date of 26th September. Very excited! I'm 31, have a BMI of 35, and single. I've tried (and failed) to lose weight for the past 16 years. Same story as everyone else - I lose 20 lbs and put 30 back on.

I've not told anyone about the surgery, and I don't plan to. I just think that people will think I'm taking the easy way out. No one else in my family has any weight issues, and I know they just think I'm lazy for being so fat. I'm definitely going ahead with the surgery, but wanted to know if anyone else had done it without telling anyone? I just can't be bothered with them judging me!

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I told 6 people a year ago and wish I'd only told my wife (if I was single, no one). The problem isn't "dumb things people say", it's the fact that by telling "just a few close friends and family", you never really know if your secret is safe.

As @@Dub says, once you drop a ton of weight people will start asking and before you know it, you're being less than honest with very close friends.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying keeping a health issue a secret is dishonest, but imagine how you'd feel if a long term friend discovered it from someone else?

Worse, most likely, you'd never find out they knew, but their opinion of your friendship could surely suffer!

Keep it a secret or tell everyone!

The only reason I would tell someone at work or school is if I could tell that they needed encouragement to go through the process themselves. Other than two friends who I know can keep the secret, everyone else can kiss my tiny tush. I don't owe anyone an explanation. "I am following a strict diet plan with the help of a nutritionist" is all they are getting out of me.

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My surgery is scheduled for July, and I've only told my mom and my best friend. Even my sister is judgemental, so i will tell her after the surgery.

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I didnt tell no one , I dont regret my surgery , Im a slow loser , I lost 61 pounds FOREVER , im a year post op and have no sagging skin , I think due to the slow lost but none the less , no one ever asked me if i had surgery and again I think it was due to my slow lost , but people did ask me how I lost weight and I would reply with , changed my eating habits , drank lots of water and lots of walking , which was all true , best wishes to you

@lynnediligaf - I am in agreement! My surgery date is in October and plan on telling no family or friends b/c it's def a personal and private experience!

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The only people I told were my siblings and parents. I only told 2 or 3 other people after I had already had the surgery. It really is nobody's business

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With my LapBand I only told my husband and kids. It was so hard to keep "the secret". Almost as if I were lying by not telling anyone. One time my daughter slipped and said "she cant eat and drink together" I almost came unglued.

This time I shouted it from the roof tops I AM GETTING THE SLEEVE. Not hiding anything. Posting updates and pics on FB. Now I have a huge support system. Its a personal option that is yours to choose. Choose wisely grasshopper...

I have not told many of my family members about the surgery. I live far away from my family so they don't know how large I had gotten. I only have one cousin who has seen me recently and she made comments like "If you get any bigger, you'll need a wheel chair". She's not skinny herself. My highest BMI was only 40ish but I had a lot of underlying health issues related to my weight. I did tell some of my coworkers and most know now because I've lost over 30lbs in the last 6 weeks and my eating habits have changed. I still get the whole "You weren't that big. You could have done it on your own" from some of them. Several are very supportive and tell me how great I look. I had over 100lbs to lose and couldn't do it on my own. Altering my stomach permanently was a huge decision but I don't regret it at all. My health is way more important that food any day. As for my family, they are a**holes and would have criticized me. I don't have any intention of telling them in the future either.

I am meeting with the surgeon next month and there are only a couple people that know. I haven't told my family or anyone. My husband and a lady at work who had RNY. People are so judgemental especially where I work. I don't know how I am going to keep it from them as I am only 5 ft and BMI is 43. I want this to be about me making myself better and not people judging or talking about me.

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I only told my husband and daughter. Not sure what to tell work why I'll be out 3 weeks tho

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Hi everyone! I've recently been cleared for surgery (sleeve gastrectomy) and arranged a date of 26th September. Very excited! I'm 31, have a BMI of 35, and single. I've tried (and failed) to lose weight for the past 16 years. Same story as everyone else - I lose 20 lbs and put 30 back on.

I've not told anyone about the surgery, and I don't plan to. I just think that people will think I'm taking the easy way out. No one else in my family has any weight issues, and I know they just think I'm lazy for being so fat. I'm definitely going ahead with the surgery, but wanted to know if anyone else had done it without telling anyone? I just can't be bothered with them judging me!

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I'm 31 and bmi 38. I'm having my surgery Nov 2. I'm only telling 3 people.

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I was sleeved 9/19 I only told my fiancé, daughter and brother (because I had to). My father doesn't even know. I don't feel like you should tell anyone you don't want to. Personally, I didn't want to be judged like you mentioned. Also, I am afraid of failure and in turn, more judging. So keep it to yourself!

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I'm the exact opposite but love the fact you can all keep your mouths quiet. I've communicated at work, which has helped with my time off and lots of support. I told my family and they are all concerned and supportive I listen to the medical staff but I personally need outside support to help keep me balanced. I wish I was as strong as you all and not tell people. Waiting on my surgery date.

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I'm 1 month post sleeve today, I only told my boyfriend. He went to the hospital with me and helped with stuff when we came home. It was a bit awkward though when my colleagues at work wanted to know why I was on sick leave for 3 weeks and I couldn't tell them.

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Wow. So glad I found this post. I have obviously discussed this with my husband who is 100% supportive. My mom knows and supports but has voiced concerns. My biggest thing is I don't want to share this with everyone. What do you say when they ask?? Why are you off work? Why can't you do this or that? I don't want to lie and I don't want to say none of your business but I don't want to share either.

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