Hi. I was supposed to be sleeve on June 7th. But didn't follow through.

I've regretted it. But I was so scared. So 100% on board then backed out.

Now, I've called back and rescheduled. I'm still scared but feel so lost and feel like I can't do this on my own.

CW: 268

Diabetic type 2

PCOS

Mom of a two year old

I feel like I need this. But so fearful.

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It is ultimately up to you. We can't sugar coat it for you and say it's going to be easy. I'm just a week out so I'm going through the grunt work of the progressive diet and I'm still on 'mush'. If you have seriously tried and tried and you feel you NEED to lose the weight to really advanced your health, then the sleeve is a good option but you do have to work with your troubled relationship with food if you have one. If you feel making the necessary dietary adjustments will be doable, the surgery is no huge detriment in the grand scheme.

Do you know exactly what has you scared? The diet? Pain? Recovery? If you can pin point or give us a little more direct issue to work with, that could help.

At the end of the day, don't feel pressured by either side. This decision has to be yours. I think either way you'll be happy but if you go with the surgery maybe you can be a "little more happy" or maybe not. It all depends.

I hope someone can come in with some better advice.

Good luck!

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/371564-why-get-sleeved/

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3 months out, that's a link to why it's nothing to be afraid of...

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What, specifically, are you afraid of? You need to name your fears to claim your fears. If you give us an idea of what's troubling you, we may be able to help set your mind at ease.

I'm defiantly afraid of the surgery and the pain. But most of all... Failing. I do not want to fail.

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Fear is an emotion.

Fear is not a fact.

I reminded myself of the facts......

Fact....Thousands of people have done this before me and have been successful.

Fact....If I do this my health problems (sleep apnea, high blood pressure, pre-diabetes) will be gone.

Fact....When I am a healthy weight, my life will be better.

What are your facts?

It is ultimately up to you. We can't sugar coat it for you and say it's going to be easy. I'm just a week out so I'm going through the grunt work of the progressive diet and I'm still on 'mush'. If you have seriously tried and tried and you feel you NEED to lose the weight to really advanced your health, then the sleeve is a good option but you do have to work with your troubled relationship with food if you have one. If you feel making the necessary dietary adjustments will be doable, the surgery is no huge detriment in the grand scheme.

Do you know exactly what has you scared? The diet? Pain? Recovery? If you can pin point or give us a little more direct issue to work with, that could help.

At the end of the day, don't feel pressured by either side. This decision has to be yours. I think either way you'll be happy but if you go with the surgery maybe you can be a "little more happy" or maybe not. It all depends.

I hope someone can come in with some better advice.

Good luck!

Better advice?

Your advice was right "on point".

The only thing I would add is a personal note:

@madisunshine1:

Look into yourself. Within yourself lies the answers you seek.

We are here to bounce questions off of and to just listen if that is what you need.

Best wishes, Friend.

I was also scared of the surgery the first time it was scheduled (I ended up needing to be rescheduled for clearance) and for some reason, although the risk was pretty minimal, I kept thinking "What if I don't wake up?" and "Maybe I haven't tried hard enough to do this myself." I even wrote a note for my son just in case I didn't wake up. The closer and closer my date got, the more nervous I got and the more I tried to talk myself out of it. The day before my surgery was supposed to happen, they called and said my Dr. has not cleared me because I need to go to a cardiologist. If I'm being honest, I almost breathed a sigh of relief and thought "ok now is my chance! I will take this time to prove to myself whether or not I can do this on my own!" 2 days later I was back to eating pizza and breadsticks =/. I failed, however, I also believe I NEEDED that extra time to think and to show myself that I would NOT stick to any diet on my own. It would only get worse if I didn't do the surgery. When the next surgery date came, I was a lot less nervous and I knew that this is what I have to do for myself and my family.

I'm not saying that you will no longer crave the things you liked before. I'm not saying it's easy either but it is a tool that does help in "resetting" your body. Not feeling hungry allllll the time helps a ton as well. I am only a few weeks out from surgery so I can't tell you how I will feel a year or even months out, but right now, it is helping me. Sometimes not always in ways I would have thought (sometimes stuff just makes me gag even if I could eat it before), but regardless of how I get there, I am more determined than ever to get there. In the past I had fleeting moments of thinking "I can do this!" and now it is a constant belief that I WILL achieve my goals. I can see the scale moving (in the right direction too!) and I can feel my body becoming healthier.

My son is older than yours. He's at an age (10) where he needs to be outside running and playing and going places but I was not able to be the mother I needed to be for him. It hurts not being involved in the things that normal families should do. His grandmother or his dad or my sister would take him out places but I couldn't go because I had no energy and everything hurt. I was embarrassed to go anywhere, not just for myself but for my family. I didn't want to hold them back from having fun just because I couldn't walk for very long. I'd have to sit and take breaks. I couldn't go to a restaurant because I was scared I wouldn't fit in the booth. How embarrassing right? These aren't things I would normally tell ANYBODY. I kept it to myself and would just give an excuse. Looking back now, I've missed so much of my son's life because I let food of all things get in the way.

Everyone's story is different but I did not get this way overnight! I too have PCOS and I've also had back surgery at a very young age (16) and the weight piled on significantly with birth control. My surgeon says I will likely not get rid of the back pain but I don't care! It couldn't possibly make it any worse! In fact, it's already feeling better. I'm going to power through this. Whatever it takes to get my life back is what I will do. Don't let fear guide your decision or your life. Go with what your heart tells you and whatever you decide, remember that you are doing it for the right reasons.

Edit: Sorry for the very long post! lol

Edited July 2, 201610 yr by Lizardlady

Thanks for sharing. I am fearful too,but it's just a mind thing. Hope to have surgery end of July.

I say:

"Gastric Bypass [or sleeve] now or Quadruple Bypass later"

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Thanks for sharing. I am fearful too,but it's just a mind thing. Hope to have surgery end of July.

Yes, WLS is no guarantee you will conquer your obesity. But not having WLS is pretty much a guarantee that you won't conquer your obesity. (All the research out there tells us that we have a 50% chance of long-term success with WLS and a 2% chance without WLS. You do the math.)

If you fail to conquer your obesity, your life will not continue to be the difficult life you've had up to now. It will get worse. A lot worse.

There's fear and anxiety in everyone's life. However, we do have the freedom to choose what we fear. We can choose to fear our past. Of course, that's pathetic, since the past is over and we can do nothing about it. Or we can fear a worsening future that will come true if we don't make changes to avoid that future. Or we can fear the discomforts and pain of making changes to ourselves that will cause our future to be much better.

Fear is unavoidable. Which fear do you choose?