Yes, I'm working with a counselor on this stuff..lol

My family is in town visiting. My husband brought out old photos. The idea was to give his daughter copies. Its been two years since surgery. I have felt no need to look back. I had forgotten these photos existed.

There I was, Staring myself at my highest weight. I had a moment of clarity of how much denial I was in about my appearance. I twisted my mind to believe I looked better than I did. It was easier not to look at myself and pretend all was ok. I was so unhappy.

Family comments......."oh god you look so much better!" - "I would want you to tell me if I ever got that big"

I'm questioning all the work I have put into getting my mind right.. I am seeing myself correctly? My insecurities are in overdrive. I am so sad for where I was in life. I'm horrified thinking family is going to post the photo's.

I want to rise above and move on...I hate reminders of my past.

@@Kindle

Many fortunate people in the world who are healthy mentally. They have not had to change anything about themselves at any point in life. I just have not met them..lol

We all have our crap to overcome in life right? I just happened to work them out during the same time frame of weight loss.

Not sure if your post was sarcasm or real..But I can see the flip side of anything.

@@Kindle

Many fortunate people in the world who are healthy mentally. They have not had to change anything about themselves at any point in life. I just have not met them..lol

We all have our crap to overcome in life right? I just happened to work them out during the same time frame of weight loss.

Not sure if your post was sarcasm or real..But I can see the flip side of anything.

Not sarcasm at all. I was just pointing out the difference. Your past is hard for you while mine is the opposite. I was a strong, confident fat person and fir the most part, life was good. I only became a blubbering mess after losing weight and I no longer had my emotional crutches (food and alcohol) to back me up.

My best friend committed suicide 17 months postop and it was then I discovered I had no constructive coping abilities. I stayed drunk for the 18 months following my brother's death prior to my VSG but I couldn't do that this time. The illusion of my mental health went out the window and i realized what a wreck I really was. My therapist, antidepressants and testosterone replacement are my new crutches that keep me from joining my friend at this point.

So you are right, we all have certain mental issues. Being obese is simply one of the symptoms, not the cause. And unfortunately surgery only treats that one symptom. It's a lot harder to find and treat the cause, But it sounds like you have made great strides in that department.

All I'm saying in response to your OP, is that like it or not, the past is a part of who you are. You already said it, you conquered and overcame so much. Forgiving and accepting a past that you can't change is just a part of that and definitely better in the long run than hating a stack of photographs.

Hello. I actually have not had surgery just yet, it's around the corner, but I have lost almost 100 pounds from my highest weight before surgery. First off, people can be so rude in how they say things to you. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. I love seeing my before pictures, however the mind works in mysterious ways because I don't look too much different to myself right now. Maybe after surgery. But when you're big your mind tells you you're smaller. When you're smaller your mind tells you you're bigger. But not once have I felt ashamed, because big or small, depressed or content, you are you and you only get to be you in the course of life and you is a great thing. Life consists of growing, ups and downs, and evolving, and that Is just a piece of your beautiful life story. Don't be afraid to look at the old you and don't be afraid to correct rude people family or not. Self esteem and worth are inside of you at all times, it's just hidden deep down. When they talk about and make comments about the bigger you, guess what, they are still talking about you now because you're the same person, just your appearance changed . Defend yourself, don't let them get under your skin, cause they feel bold enough to make these comments now, but were they telling you this when you were bigger? Probably not so what's the motive and point of telling you now? Not saying curse anybody out lol, everything can be done politely and in love, all I'm saying is don't feed into the negativity of what other people say. That woman in the pictures who was bigger has just as much right to respect as the thinner person you are now.

Edited June 30, 201610 yr by MissB1982

@@rshredl 100lbs in 6 months is excellent!!! Congrats!

Hello. I actually have not had surgery just yet, it's around the corner, but I have lost almost 100 pounds from my highest weight before surgery. First off, people can be so rude in how they say things to you. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. I love seeing my before pictures, however the mind works in mysterious ways because I don't look too much different to myself right now. Maybe after surgery. But when you're big your mind tells you you're smaller. When you're smaller your mind tells you you're bigger. But not once have I felt ashamed, because big or small, depressed or content, you are you and you only get to be you in the course of life and you is a great thing. Life consists of growing, ups and downs, and evolving, and that Is just a piece of your beautiful life story. Don't be afraid to look at the old you and don't be afraid to correct rude people family or not. Self esteem and worth are inside of you at all times, it's just hidden deep down. When they talk about and make comments about the bigger you, guess what, they are still talking about you now because you're the same person, just your appearance changed . Defend yourself, don't let them get under your skin, cause they feel bold enough to make these comments now, but were they telling you this when you were bigger? Probably not so what's the motive and point of telling you now? Not saying curse anybody out lol, everything can be done politely and in love, all I'm saying is don't feed into the negativity of what other people say. That woman in the pictures who was bigger has just as much right to respect as the thinner person you are now.

@@MissB1982 -- I have a girl crush on you.

You're so smart.

Thanks ????. I've been there many times, it took years to get my confidence, I think it's there now , but even if some days I don't have my confidence, I know better to rely on people for confirmation of it .