I am 7 weeks post-op. I have not ever been an emotional person. And I am in HELL now. I am/was a happy person, always smiling. A joke to tell, a friend to make. A smile on my face. But not for the last 4 weeks or so. I am moody, bitchy, I'm always hungry, and hate people and life. I caused a huge scene at Safeway knocked over a display stand. ( it was for somthing so dumb and petty) I'm depressed,sad,and pissed off at the world. I hide in my house.

This is not me. My personal physician totally checked me out. (Full cbc, urine,labs) everything came back fine. Im always constipated now. I cry all the time over nothing. And I'm getting worried. This is not me. I am not this crazy Lady that's been around the last month. ( well I'm crazy) but in a intellectual I know I'm crazy, so I can't be crazy way.....

I am good at faking it till you make it, a smile for the world. But I am dying inside. Did this happen to anyone. How can this be happening to me in the middle of this amazing journey I'm on. I'm losing weight, 81pds counting pre Surgery diet. I'm modeling again, I have men throwing them self at me. ( I don't have a sexy drive) WTF ( and I was always ready to go, like cat in heat who's my daddy horny) before this. Wtf is going on. Please tell me I'm not alone and it will pass. My Dr didn't have a clue, and I am at a loss.. This is hard for me to admit, because I hate weakness. But I'm scared now, and need answers before I snap and someone gets hurts.

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I never had to be on depression meds, or anxiety pills. I have never not wanted sex. I have crazy thoughts now Ally McBeal moments with little dancing baby. I'm so mad and so angry and just cry. I can't do this and no one told me about this. I'm educated trained and worked with people who have mental health problems. I'm not the one who has them. So I hear what everyone is saying. BUT you are not me, and I hate hearing it will go away with time. Pills take time to build up and work so why doesn't someone TELL ME HOW THE FUCK TO LIVE LIKE THIS IN THE MEAN TIME.... every search and research I have done has found there's nothing on it no one talks about this. So why not now. So what's worst case I'm like this now, best case it's over soon or the meds start working. Bottom line I'm a fucking disaster and don't know we're to go for help and who even knows anything about whatever the f*** this is, in the medical world. I need to hear science based facts and get science based answers.

Even the most logical, sane, even robotic person can become an emotional mess after the surgery...

It's normal..

You'll be fine...

So these thoughts and wanting to hurt people is normal???

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That was my normal BEFORE surgery.

Yes I don't have a surgery date yet. Sometimes I hate the world. When I feel like this, I search out the kind people on this site. The rude and negative people, can go to hell!!

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Oh. I might be the person that is going to hell then.

If you want science based answers then this probably isn't the best place for you too seek information.

This is an internet support group.

You continue to live like this because there is really no other choice.

Your feelings and anger are very common and most everyone here has experienced it at some point.

If you want science based answers then this probably isn't the best place for you too seek information.

This is an internet support group.

You continue to live like this because there is really no other choice.

Your feelings and anger are very common and most everyone here has experienced it at some point.

So just live with it

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Even the most logical, sane, even robotic person can become an emotional mess after the surgery...

It's normal..

You'll be fine...

So these thoughts and wanting to hurt people is normal???

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

That was my normal BEFORE surgery.

Yes I don't have a surgery date yet. Sometimes I hate the world. When I feel like this, I search out the kind people on this site. The rude and negative people, can go to hell!!

Sent from my SM-G930T1 using the BariatricPal App

Oh. I might be the person that is going to hell then.

No your not I have never been like this I just blow and feel lost I'm sorry

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I went through this in the early 2000's when menopause hit. Crying, anxiety thru the roof, anger, sleeplessness and feeling"crazy" most of the time. supplements of fish oil, DHEA, and hormone-supportive herbs helped to a degree. The best and most effective tool I found was Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I learned to challenge and change negative, harmful thoughts and replace them with reality based thoughts.

I know that if you're willing to do the work and change your thoughts, you will find relief. And it doesn't have to take a long time if you're diligent with the work.

At 6mos out I started to feel the change in hormone levels again and I agree...it's not fun. I'm back to using the skills I learned through CBT to cope with the anxious thoughts and sleeplessness. It does help me to know that these are thought distortions and I can change them. And my hormones will eventually level out.

You are not alone

Hope this is somewhat helpful.

Edited June 12, 201610 yr by cbrr

Yes - you live with it, understand the emotional implications after WLS, and work your way through it.

If there were some simple answer that would solve your problem I'm certain someone would tell you but it isn't simple. I know you want to scream, cry, hurt some MF-ers, all that stuff.

My personal experience was this:

I was mad all the time, it took me a solid year to begin to feel normal, and I failed to recognize one thing. All off us here on this forum have used food as a crutch, coping mechanism, or whatever you want to call it. Having WLS removes the biggest part of that. We can no longer use food in the same way and it throws you for a loop;

That's where you are right now. In the loop. I wish I could tell you how to make it stop but it doesn't work that way.

Look at it like this - you had WLS to control a problem. That problem was food. You did great in trying to eliminate that problem. Now you have a new problem - your emotions. You have been stripped completely bare and cannot cope the way you used to. Now you have to dig deep and try to resolve issues that caused you to use food as a crutch.

You can do it, you will come out on the other side of this a happier person, and you will feel lighter emotionally as well as physically.

I never had to be on depression meds, or anxiety pills. I have never not wanted sex. I have crazy thoughts now Ally McBeal moments with little dancing baby. I'm so mad and so angry and just cry. I can't do this and no one told me about this. I'm educated trained and worked with people who have mental health problems. I'm not the one who has them. So I hear what everyone is saying. BUT you are not me, and I hate hearing it will go away with time. Pills take time to build up and work so why doesn't someone TELL ME HOW THE f**k TO LIVE LIKE THIS IN THE MEAN TIME.... every search and research I have done has found there's nothing on it no one talks about this. So why not now. So what's worst case I'm like this now, best case it's over soon or the meds start working. Bottom line I'm a f**king disaster and don't know we're to go for help and who even knows anything about whatever the f*** this is, in the medical world. I need to hear science based facts and get science based answers.

If you are educated and trained in mental health, then you may be open to talking to a professional.

If you don't have a therapist already, especially someone who works with bariatric patients, then see if you can find someone to talk to. The person who did your psych clearance may became to see you or may be able to refer you to someone.

You can also talk to your PCP about options.

Another thing you may want to consider is attending some Overeaters Anonymous meetings. You can find meetings, podcasts, and other resources online at OA.org.

A book you may want to check out is Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton.

You need to see a therapist immediately, no one here is qualified to "tell you how the f**k to live like this in the meantime." You are literally screaming for help, pls get it.

Ask you surgeon's office for the name of therapists who work with bariatric patients post op, or contact the one who did your psych eval prior to surgery.

Pls take care of yourself and let the people you live with know that you are not in a good place.

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Yes - you live with it, understand the emotional implications after WLS, and work your way through it.

If there were some simple answer that would solve your problem I'm certain someone would tell you but it isn't simple. I know you want to scream, cry, hurt some MF-ers, all that stuff.

My personal experience was this:

I was mad all the time, it took me a solid year to begin to feel normal, and I failed to recognize one thing. All off us here on this forum have used food as a crutch, coping mechanism, or whatever you want to call it. Having WLS removes the biggest part of that. We can no longer use food in the same way and it throws you for a loop;

That's where you are right now. In the loop. I wish I could tell you how to make it stop but it doesn't work that way.

Look at it like this - you had WLS to control a problem. That problem was food. You did great in trying to eliminate that problem. Now you have a new problem - your emotions. You have been stripped completely bare and cannot cope the way you used to. Now you have to dig deep and try to resolve issues that caused you to use food as a crutch.

You can do it, you will come out on the other side of this a happier person, and you will feel lighter emotionally as well as physically.

Well said !!!!!!!!!!!

This should be in page one of the post-op manual that I never received.

Hell, for a while there I was shopping for a woodchipper to take care of the evidence.

Seriously, though.....very good post.

And @@Jess3/25/16 please know that you are absolutely in the toughest part of this post-op deal. It truly does get better.....and soon. The 5-7 week post-op period was not a happy time for me, either. I'd have loved to destroyed a Subway display or twelve.

You are among folks who have been through similar times. Got to the rants & raves section and let it fly there.

Getting an appointment with the person who did your pre-op psyche eval may be a good place to start, as well.

It gets better, but maybe a professional can help you get there faster.

You made me cry, its been really hard I've lost a lot of friends having this surgery they feel I took the easy way out. I gained weight after I got sober off drugs 8 years ago. And It doubled after being raped 4 years ago in a hospital. So seeing Dr has never been easy. I went to Tijuana for my surgery. So having lost my support system and not being able to hide behind food I'm lost. I was telling someone the other day my life used to revolve around food, and it doesn't anymore. And i dont know what to do, i want drugs but i know thats a dead end road. I cant talk to my friends they don't understand what and why I did this and they all drink and I can't so we don't relate now. I wanna hide in my bed and never come out. I can't seek help because I work with the people you go to when your feeling like I am. I don't even want anything to do with my dogs who are my kids, my heart my life.... But I smile and put on the face that everything is OK and it's never been worse. Thank you for your posts you all have been there and I see that. But with no family, husband, face to face with someone who understand and gets this are not opinions for me. I am so glad I have this outlet because I'm a point of make it or break it. And your response hit hard in a good way thanks

Jess, good on you for reaching out.

I'm almost 2 years post-op now. Things that have helped me through the WLS and life's stresses since WLS are:

* finding and seeing a good therapist

* walking and exercising (yoga is my favorite non-walking exercise)

* becoming active on online WLS message boards like this one (there are some truly super people on this forum -- as you've already seen)

* staying focused on the enormous downside to being obese and the enormous upside to being healthy and normal-sized (I did a lotta lotta lot of journaling around these issues)

Honestly, in your shoes I'd let those dogs talk me into going outside -- baby steps first. Then keep taking more baby steps. Moving and sunshine do a lot for me -- maybe they will help you, too.

@@Jess3/25/16 - I am normally a very positive, optimistic person.

In the 6 weeks after surgery I was ANGRY and mildly depressed - not to the point of needing medication, but realizing that this subdued person was not my normal. I was loosing weight at a faster pace, and so probably had a higher hormone dump at that time. (seriously angry)

I walk. every day. a lot. in the sunshine. Because you get an emotional boost from working out it was enough to push me back into feeling like I could function with my family and work life. Walking and sunshine are great ways to help you get through the challenges. I also take 15 minutes at lunch to put on quiet music, dim the lights and practice deep breathing.

once my weight loss slowed down a bit (still steady but slower) the emotions balanced out although I do have these random "annoying good mood days" every now and then. this WLS is a wild ride, but if your hormones are affecting you to the point that you feel you can not function as a reasonably sane adult, then please seek help and don't be satisfied with the answers until you feel better.

Jess it's gonna get better. Understand that when you go to Mexico for surgery you are pretty much on your own post op. No support, no guidelines - nothing. It's a hard road to go down.

I thought WLS would 'cure the problem'. Haha! The joke was on me. Obesity was a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.

Many people turn to drugs or alcohol post op because of this very thing. In doing so you simply trade one form of self destruction for another and if you had issues with drugs before I can only imagine how hard it is to just say no.

But you have to, you will, and you will get through this. That's why we call it Going Through Hell - because you don't stay there. You come out on the other side. Otherwise we'd call it Gone To Hell and Not Coming Back.

You have a good life ahead of you and this period of time is what's required to get there. You can't skip this part. You can do this girl.....

You said "I can't seek help bc I work with the people you go to when you're feeling like I am."? So you work in mental health? Surely if you work in mental health you have the empathy and understanding to know that someone seeking mental health help in 2016 is not different than someone seeking medical help in diagnosing a pain or physical symptom that won't go away and is impacting their life?

Right? You're in mental health....you gotta appreciate that some people legitimately need help at crisis points in their lives? Kind of like some people legitimately need stitches or a cast after a physical fall. Your fall was emotional, big deal. It's fine. And it sounds like you had a long domino trail of pain and issues that finally tipped over.

And....sounds like your friends are not doing you any favors if they can't be real with you and supportive if you're not all drinking. That's not friendship, that's group anesthesia and you deserve a hell of a lot more.

I am not a religious person at all but this is a story I think of often about accepting help:

There was a flood coming, and the TV news sent out broadcasts saying if you lived on the east side of town, you should consider evacuating. An old man with a strong, lifelong faith in powers outside himself was watching the news and said "Nah, I'll be fine, I can stand a little Water, and if it gets bad I know that my God will save me. I trust in God!"

Hours later the water filled the streets several inches deep, and his neighbor drove over to his house asking him to please evacuate with them. There was room in the car, and the neighbor was worried, and begged the neighbor to accept their help and leave the area, just in case. The old man said, "I've lived here 40 years, I have seen flood warnings and nothing has ever happened...plus, I know God will save me if need be." The neighbor sadly drove away.

Flood waters rose to waist deep. More and more were safely floating down the street in kayaks and rowboats, moving themselves to safety. The old man watched them go by, and refused their offers of a space in one of the rowboats. "I can swim in water this deep, and if need be, my God will save me."

Within an hour the waters were churning and violent, and reached the level of of the gutters along the roofline. The old man struggled to his roof and sat there quietly, watching the scene around him. No more people were floating by in rowboats or kayaks, offering help. But suddenly above in the sky appeared a helicopter, which dropped a line attached to a large basket. The helicopter pilot said they had space on the helicopter to save him, all he needed to do was climb in the basket and they would pull him up and fly to safety. The old man called out, "Do you know exactly where you will take me, do you know the exact route, how long it will take, if the ride will be easy and comfortable?" The helicopter pilot replied he did not know the exact path, but he was a trained professional who devoted his life to saving people in crisis, and if there was a way to safety, he would do all he could to get the old man to safety. The old man shook his head and waved him off. "I can sit here high on my roof just fine, and if things get serious, I know my God will save me!" The helicopter flew away.

Suddenly a huge rush of water barreled down and carried the old man to a panicked, painful death by drowning. Within moments the old man's spirit was at the Pearly Gates, and he stormed over to St. Peter angrily and yelled, "All my life I trust in God, trust that he will keep me safe, and THIS happens??!! God didn't save me, he forgot me in my moment of need!"

St. Peter spun around furiously and replied, "In your MOMENT of need? You had HOURS of need! And throughout those hours, we sent news broadcast warnings, we sent your neighbor in a car, we sent rowboats and kayaks, we even sent a darn helicopter!!! We sent it all, all YOU had to do was accept the help and climb in."

Story done.....so where are you now? In front of your TV, on the porch, on the roof?

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Edited June 12, 201610 yr by gina171

You made me cry, its been really hard I've lost a lot of friends having this surgery they feel I took the easy way out. I gained weight after I got sober off drugs 8 years ago. And It doubled after being raped 4 years ago in a hospital. So seeing Dr has never been easy. I went to Tijuana for my surgery. So having lost my support system and not being able to hide behind food I'm lost. I was telling someone the other day my life used to revolve around food, and it doesn't anymore. And i dont know what to do, i want drugs but i know thats a dead end road. I cant talk to my friends they don't understand what and why I did this and they all drink and I can't so we don't relate now. I wanna hide in my bed and never come out. I can't seek help because I work with the people you go to when your feeling like I am. I don't even want anything to do with my dogs who are my kids, my heart my life.... But I smile and put on the face that everything is OK and it's never been worse. Thank you for your posts you all have been there and I see that. But with no family, husband, face to face with someone who understand and gets this are not opinions for me. I am so glad I have this outlet because I'm a point of make it or break it. And your response hit hard in a good way thanks

What you are dealing with sounds so much deeper than some simple erratic hormones.

Yes, you no longer have food and drugs to cope with life. You have got to address the underlying issues if you want to be healthy: mentally and physically. It isn't about the food.

It may be uncomfortable, but it sounds like you definitely NEED to talk to a professional. Even healers need help. The most hurtful thing you can do is to not take advantage of the many resources available to you: make an appointment with your surgeon, your NUT, a therapist, and your PCP TOMORROW. Attend some bariatric support group meetings, some OA meetings, and even some NA or AA meetings (especially if you are at risk of using through this). Call a minister or pastor. You do not need to do this alone, we can listen, but we are not equipped the way a professional is to give you some effective help.

You deserve to be happy, joyous, and free. It is possible, but it is going to take some work and discomfort.

Asking for help is the biggest step and you are doing that.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.