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Jess3/25/16

Pre Op
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Everything posted by Jess3/25/16

  1. Jess3/25/16

    Feeling defeated

    Me to I'm going threw these emotional Rollercoasters and it sucks I'm having someone come over to teach me how to do upkeep on my new vespa I bought two days ago I'm gunna cry most of it but I'm doing somthing and that's what counts.
  2. Jess3/25/16

    Feeling defeated

    I'm 7 weeks post-op last Monday and it only gets worse from here and better Saturday I was a f****** mess the rest of the week I've been fine today I'm a mess and it's going to be a bad day the good thing is this website there's so many people that are here to support you and I understand what you're going through it f****** sucks butt on a plus if you're going to start losing and you're going to feel amazing and you're going to look amazing and you're going to have your life back there's going to be good days and bad and I'm so grateful that I have this website and the people on it for when they're bad Jess Hall-Mcfarland
  3. I am 7 weeks post-op. I have not ever been an emotional person. And I am in HELL now. I am/was a happy person, always smiling. A joke to tell, a friend to make. A smile on my face. But not for the last 4 weeks or so. I am moody, bitchy, I'm always hungry, and hate people and life. I caused a huge scene at Safeway knocked over a display stand. ( it was for somthing so dumb and petty) I'm depressed,sad,and pissed off at the world. I hide in my house. This is not me. My personal physician totally checked me out. (Full cbc, urine,labs) everything came back fine. Im always constipated now. I cry all the time over nothing. And I'm getting worried. This is not me. I am not this crazy Lady that's been around the last month. ( well I'm crazy) but in a intellectual I know I'm crazy, so I can't be crazy way..... I am good at faking it till you make it, a smile for the world. But I am dying inside. Did this happen to anyone. How can this be happening to me in the middle of this amazing journey I'm on. I'm losing weight, 81pds counting pre Surgery diet. I'm modeling again, I have men throwing them self at me. ( I don't have a sexy drive) WTF ( and I was always ready to go, like cat in heat who's my daddy horny) before this. Wtf is going on. Please tell me I'm not alone and it will pass. My Dr didn't have a clue, and I am at a loss.. This is hard for me to admit, because I hate weakness. But I'm scared now, and need answers before I snap and someone gets hurts. Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App
  4. It was a amazing day, I have been caring for my 90 year old neighbor that fell and broke his hip. I drove 6 hrs to pick him up a new scooter to get around in so he could come home. It's a great feeling when you do and give for others who really appreciate it. And he's has helped me threw this slump so much. He doesn't have anyone in my life neither do I. So we kinda take care of each other now. And I am so great full for all my blessings in life and he never takes anything for granted and it's a nice reminder sometimes........life is what you make it Jess Hall-Mcfarland
  5. Thank you all very much for everything yesterday was probably the worst day I've had since my surgery today I made myself get up I got dressed and I went and saw my neighbor who had been caring he's 90 and fell and broke his hip. No family no one can like me and we've become really good friends and I just see him everyday but I went and spent the day with him today and I cried and hugged me and I talked to a lot of stuff out and I feel a lot better I found a support group in Portland and I'm going to talk to one of the counselors at my work and see if she can make a referral I don't understand how some days are better than others yesterday was so bad so bad but I spent the day with me and my dogs and I'm better today so thank you all so much and next time I have a bad day it's good to know you're all there
  6. Jess3/25/16

    Salem/Mcminnville Oregon?

    Yes ty 5039356945 I'll go to the one at the hospital I party dropped before lol
  7. Jess3/25/16

    Salem/Mcminnville Oregon?

    I need to find a support group in Salem area sleeved 3/25/16 and am needing help, my surgery was in Mexico and I don't know where to find a therapist here or Dr for follow ups HELL 7weeks post-op and falling apart mentally .... Jess Hall-Mcfarland
  8. You made me cry, its been really hard I've lost a lot of friends having this surgery they feel I took the easy way out. I gained weight after I got sober off drugs 8 years ago. And It doubled after being raped 4 years ago in a hospital. So seeing Dr has never been easy. I went to Tijuana for my surgery. So having lost my support system and not being able to hide behind food I'm lost. I was telling someone the other day my life used to revolve around food, and it doesn't anymore. And i dont know what to do, i want drugs but i know thats a dead end road. I cant talk to my friends they don't understand what and why I did this and they all drink and I can't so we don't relate now. I wanna hide in my bed and never come out. I can't seek help because I work with the people you go to when your feeling like I am. I don't even want anything to do with my dogs who are my kids, my heart my life.... But I smile and put on the face that everything is OK and it's never been worse. Thank you for your posts you all have been there and I see that. But with no family, husband, face to face with someone who understand and gets this are not opinions for me. I am so glad I have this outlet because I'm a point of make it or break it. And your response hit hard in a good way thanks
  9. So just live with it Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App So these thoughts and wanting to hurt people is normal??? Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App That was my normal BEFORE surgery.Yes I don't have a surgery date yet. Sometimes I hate the world. When I feel like this, I search out the kind people on this site. The rude and negative people, can go to hell!! Sent from my SM-G930T1 using the BariatricPal App Oh. I might be the person that is going to hell then.No your not I have never been like this I just blow and feel lost I'm sorry Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App
  10. I never had to be on depression meds, or anxiety pills. I have never not wanted sex. I have crazy thoughts now Ally McBeal moments with little dancing baby. I'm so mad and so angry and just cry. I can't do this and no one told me about this. I'm educated trained and worked with people who have mental health problems. I'm not the one who has them. So I hear what everyone is saying. BUT you are not me, and I hate hearing it will go away with time. Pills take time to build up and work so why doesn't someone TELL ME HOW THE FUCK TO LIVE LIKE THIS IN THE MEAN TIME.... every search and research I have done has found there's nothing on it no one talks about this. So why not now. So what's worst case I'm like this now, best case it's over soon or the meds start working. Bottom line I'm a fucking disaster and don't know we're to go for help and who even knows anything about whatever the f*** this is, in the medical world. I need to hear science based facts and get science based answers.
  11. Haha Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App
  12. And sex???? Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App
  13. So these thoughts and wanting to hurt people is normal??? Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

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