The waiting game... From start to finish.

Did the surgery and preparations cause stress in your relationship with your spouse?

Edited June 9, 201610 yr by keto_jo

Please, please, try to ensure that your spouse is of the same mind set as you BEFORE you have WLS. Do everything you can and then do some more. Get counseling --separate and together--whatever it takes .

Spousal support is crucial for the upmost success of a WLS journey. Without it, the journey can be dark and lonely.

My SO committed suicide the morning of my WLS.

He was against it.

I was told, "Don't worry. He'll come around ".

He didn't.

Please do everything you can and then some to reassure and ensure your spousal support.

It really does matter.

Prayers going up

when I was first looking into it he was opposed to the idea. see, when he wants to loose 10 pounds he just eats less potato chips. note I did not say stops eating, he eats less of them. He really couldn't understand my struggle with obesity and the hormonal effect of body fat.

it took a while to get him educated, and a couple of health scares on my part and when I was finally able to have the surgery he was more afraid of loosing me to obesity than he was of me having surgery. he still doesn't really understand how it is for me, but he knows he doesn't understand it and that allows him to be more supportive than not. Although we had a conversation the other day about him putting his potato chips AWAY because I don't think it's nice for him to leave them sitting out where I normally sit. it's not like I don't ever want any. I just shouldn't have any, and I don't need the temptation. I don't expect him to stop eating them, but there has to be a little give and take. he took my wild rant to heart, apologized and has been doing better.

No not in mine. My husband and I have enough stress in other areas but this one he was great and fully supportive because he saw the impact my weight was having on my life. He has loved me at my heaviest and now at the lightest I've been since middle school.

I'm still in prep stage but it hasn't caused issues at all. I actually think we are communicating more (probably as a result of therapy I've been getting for emotional eating). One thing that concerns me post-op is my SO had been engaged many years ago and his fiancée ended up with anorexia after losing weight and I just am afraid he'll worry about the same happening to me (which it won't). She was extremely sick and it destroyed their relationship. I actually brought it up last weekend.

Edited June 9, 201610 yr by KristenLe

I'm still in prep stage but it hasn't caused issues at all. I actually think we are communicating more (probably as a result of therapy I've been getting for emotional eating). One thing that concerns me post-op is my SO had been engaged many years ago and his fiancée ended up with anorexia after losing weight and I just am afraid he'll worry about the same happening to me (which it won't). She was extremely sick and it destroyed their relationship. I actually brought it up last weekend.

good for you looking that monster straight in the eye!

My primary reason for having the VSG is to alleviate some of the symptoms of my PCOS and hopefully increase my fertility. My reproductive endocrinologist was the one who recommended to me because other women with PCOS my age (early 30s) and size (around a BMI of 31) benefitted from it. My husband was immediately on board. My parents also got on board fast, and that was important because they provided crucial support. He and I did have detailed discussions about everything from the practical aspects of surgery to the emotional ones. We talked about how a lot of people who've gone through WLS experience a roller coaster of emotions the first month, and "buyer's remorse" is common. I fortunately had a very smooth surgery, few emotional fluctuations, and no regrets, but I think it was important for both of us to be prepared. Especially because in the past I've been a weepy, emotional mess following anything with anesthesia, and would be irrational. I'd return to being myself after a few days.

We also talked about finances. Insurance wasn't covering my surgery, and we're young professionals still paying off student debt. My mom ended up insisting on paying for my surgery for me, and he is thankful for that. We talked about practical things like driving, grocery shopping, and housekeeping tasks during my recovery. We made a lot of provisions, from stocking up the pantry to arranging for a housekeeping service to come in once a week to help pick up my share of the chores. We also talked about how there would be times when he'd eat things I'd want, and how he'd be sensitive to me, but I also had to be reasonable with him. We couldn't just eliminate every food I had to abstain from during the first month from our pantry and fridge.