I feel like I'm obsessed with food now more than ever. My cravings/appetite has returned, and now I'm constantly obsessing over how I can have what I want but make it fit into my 800 calories per day. Because I'm so limited, I want everything to taste phenomenal. It's so strange. Is this dysfunctional?

Edited May 21, 201610 yr by her1981

@@her1981 Have you tried going up a little on your calories - you actually may not be getting enough. You're doing great so far - so congrats!

@TheRealMeIsHere! @@Kindle @Inner Surfer Girl I eat a low carb/ketogenic diet. I am sugar free and grain free. I always get at least 80 grams of Protein - no matter what. I don't usually snack or I may have one snack per day. I log my foods daily so I can keep up with what was "working". I've stayed closer to 900 calories since around the 3 month mark as I could never get myself much lower (probably due to fat intake, but you need fat if you don't eat carbs) It was working for the first 140+ pounds, so quite naturally my thought is that I needed to go down. Not sure. Keep in mind that I exercise for about 45 minutes to an hour 4 days a week. I also only eat between 10am and 7pm. Here's my macros for a typical day:

macros.JPG

800 calories is really unsustainable over the long term in my opinion. For me, I need to eat more than that to keep my metabolism burning. Why not try adding some calories? Extra protein, complex carbs, and/or some healthy fats.

Trying to go lower and lower in calories will only slow down your metabolism.

What does your NUT suggest?

@@her1981 Have you tried going up a little on your calories - you actually may not be getting enough. You're doing great so far - so congrats!

@@KristenLe I did. And I gained 5 in about 3-4 days. (I weighed daily to see) That was 2 weeks ago. So since then I went back down in calories and I'm just holding. I'm trying to replace a few meals with shakes to see if it helps. I probably just need to give the scale a break.

@@Inner Surfer Girl It's definitely unsustainable. I'm consistently around 950 most days. At my 9 month check up, they told me to stay at 800 calories, which at this point isn't happening. I wonder about my level of metabolic impairment.

@@her1981 Have you tried going up a little on your calories - you actually may not be getting enough. You're doing great so far - so congrats!

@@KristenLe I did. And I gained 5 in about 3-4 days. (I weighed daily to see) That was 2 weeks ago. So since then I went back down in calories and I'm just holding. I'm trying to replace a few meals with shakes to see if it helps. I probably just need to give the scale a break.

You may need to stay off the scale for a while. Increasing your calories by a couple of hundred calories is not going to result in 5 pounds of fat regain overnight. It was probably your body retaining Water or something. There is no direct relationship between what you eat one day and the numbers on the scale the next day. Our bodies are complex systems and not simple machines.

Frankly, it sounds to me like you are trying to "control" your body rather than work with your body.

Do you have a counselor or therapist you can talk to?

Oops. I see where you are looking for a therapist. I think you would really benefit from talking with someone.

Also, I recommend the book "Eat it Up" by Connie Stapleton.

@@Inner Surfer Girl I am definitely trying to control it. I have a type A personality with a need for control. I have struggled with control issues my whole life. My weight is a reminder of my lack of self control in that area, but that was a result of my mother controlling my intake while growing up. I started sneaking food when I was 5 or 6. I remember wedging myself between the washer and dryer with a bag of chips. (that was the first time and I can't believe I remember that!) When I was finally on my own, I thought "finally, I can eat whatever I want and not hide it!". But obviously I wasn't "hiding" it. What you eat in secret you wear in public. I surprised myself when I sought out wls, but I knew I needed help. I needed to save me from myself, you know?

Anyway, the struggle with control continues.

I'm going to check out that book. Thanks. :-)

Edited May 23, 201610 yr by her1981

@@Inner Surfer Girl I am definitely trying to control it. I have a type A personality with a need for control. I have struggled with control issues my whole life. My weight is a reminder of my lack of self control in that area, but that was a result of my mother controlling my intake while growing up. I started sneaking food when I was 5 or 6. I remember wedging myself between the washer and dryer with a bag of chips. (that was the first time and I can't believe I remember that!) When I was finally on my own, I thought "finally, I can eat whatever I want and not hide it!". But obviously I wasn't "hiding" it. What you eat in secret you wear in public. I surprised myself when I sought out wls, but I knew I needed help. I needed to save me from myself, you know?

Anyway, the struggle with control continues.

I'm going to check out that book. Thanks. :-)

You may also want to consider attending some OA meetings (OA.org). It is a great program for helping recover from food obsession and other eating issues.

@@Inner Surfer Girl I really hated OA. Maybe I need to find a different meeting. The one I went to was too huggy, lol

@@her1981

Starting out close to 400 pounds myself, I had to accept that this might be a 2 year process instead of one year like a lot of people.

I wanted to be a lot closer to 200 pounds at this point, and it is annoying to accept that I am not and probably won't be by my anniversary.

The one thing that comforts me is that I am already smaller at this weight, than I thought I would be at 200 pounds.

My health is improved to the point of being completely normal and I can wear regular sizes and shop anywhere. Those were the original goals and they are already achieved. The rest is just cushion so I can put as much distance between me and 300 pounds as possible.

I'm not gaining. I'm not starving. I am not deprived. I am eating far below my BMR. I know I will lose weight. I am just losing it a normal persons pace now and not at a super morbidly obese persons pace, and I have to be okay with that. Stressing about it is counter productive.

I would never go to an OA meeting. Just reading the original book was enough for me. It put food and how to deal with it in perspective and reading other peoples stories helped. Outside of the WLS sphere, hearing how people deal with head hunger, really helped. I'm a foodie and I love food. My coping mechanism is cooking. I realize I enjoy the activity of preparing food more than eating it.

Edited May 23, 201610 yr by OutsideMatchInside

@@Inner Surfer Girl I really hated OA. Maybe I need to find a different meeting. The one I went to was too huggy, lol

"Too huggy?" There is no such thing!

You can always decline hugs, but why would you want to?

Hugs are some of the best things in life!

LOL I don't really like hugs from strangers... I'm weird like that.

LOL I don't really like hugs from strangers... I'm weird like that.

Seriously! I'm the same way!

@her1981...I see you live in the Chicago area. Where did you get your VSG done?

@@Inner Surfer Girl I really hated OA. Maybe I need to find a different meeting. The one I went to was too huggy, lol

Check out www.smartrecovery.org it is an alternative to the typical 12-step recovery programs, It has bases in cognitive behavioral therapy and treats addiction as a behavior that you have the power to change, rather than treating you like a victim of a disease. It is quite empowering and may appeal to your controlling personality. Offers Online and in person meetings, online forums and the handbook to get started or at least see if it's for you is only $8.