I have made the decision after years of being overweight to have the sleeve, I'm 29, 5'4", and 245 (highest 270). My best friend, who is also severely over weight, is totally against surgery. She says people all look like big wrinkly messes after because of the skin, they gain the weight back and it's the easy way out. I disagree with all of this and know it's the best decision for me and my family.... I want to tell her I'm going through with it and have her be supportative but I don't know how, any suggestions??

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My best friend had the same reaction. Shes not overweight at all and she really wanted me to just try one last time and she would help me. I told her i was doing it no matter what but that i def would need her held after surgery. Your friend will probably move past it once its closer to time or done.

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I had a friend who was the same way but the crazy thing is she was a previous weight loss surgery patient. She had gastric bypass 10 years before I had gastric sleeve. Now 18 months after my surgery our friendship has unfortunately suffered because she treats me completely different. I believe that before it made her feel more secure snot herself having a "fat" friend and now I'm smaller than her. I hate it and I miss our friendship but she has been so unsupportive and said some of the most hateful things to me as I've lost weight. I really don't understand. And she's not the only person. I live in a very small town and I have tons of haters. You would think that going from a size 20 to a size 0 you would have so many people excited and proud of you but I have so many women who before would have spoke to me and now give me dirty looks

Aimee

I'm following this discussion because I'm just starting down this road (meeting my surgeon tomorrow) and have only discussed this with my husband and two daughters (16 and 13). I've told 1 friend who is very supportive, but I don't know if I want to tell others -- I think its because I'm afraid of the reaction.

There's a strange attitude we see around BP and in other WLS circles among some who've had WLS that the only reason a WLS patient does NOT publicize their having had WLS is due to their "shame" about having had WLS.

Aside from what you'd think would be a general acceptance by WLS patients of all other WLS patients' needs to handle their WLS journey the way that works best for them, this hassling we get from others -- whether they're other WLS patients, fatties, skinnies, concerned family and friends, assholes, trolls, whatever -- is something that many of us want to avoid completely.

I'm one of those on the down low about WLS. There are people in my life who were / are ignorant of and critical of WLS. And I simply didn't want to hear about it. Any of it.

So I just didn't tell 'em. That approach has worked fabulously for me. I have zero guilt or shame about my WLS. And I have zero guilt or shame about not telling others about my WLS.

This journey has been incredibly successful for me. It has been so pleasant traveling this path without enduring catcalls from the peanut gallery or third-degree depositions by random acquaintances.

Each of us should choose the path that works best for us. Keeping my WLS choice private has worked incredibly well for me.

I remember when my sisters had Thier surgeries one 15 years ago the other 13. I said the same thing that they took the easy way out. And the skin was pretty awful they both look older after the weight loss but Thier loss was extreme as they were very very obese. But boy I was so wrong about it being easy!! And loose skin can be fixed. Your friend just doesn't understand how much harder this is then a diet. I was the same way.

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