Feeling Lonely

[lmwilla 21]

I am in the beginning of my new life journey. I have attended a seminar and am waiting for both my psych and surgeon appointments. Since I have decided to do this, I feel like my weight and appearance are getting worse and don't know how my view of myself changed so drastically in a matter of a month. I am just so ready for the change!

On top of that, I have a great friend who I have been friends with for 15 years. She is "my person". She is also overweight however has no desire for surgical options. I completely understand that and know that it is a very personal decision. Unfortunately, I feel guilty because she is sad that I am going to be changing. She keeps asking what we're going to do when we go out because we can't go sit and talk at dinner or shop at the same stores.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty and I am beyond excited for this journey. How do you deal with the varying degrees of opinions??

Edited March 29, 2016 by lmwilla

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Well it is tough being a pioneer, they get all the arrows. I have some people in my life who tried to talk me out of this who are now going to Mexico to get this done because they see my results. So that is a possible outcome.

But even if she doesn't, you have to live your life. Our friends and family don't have to carry the extra weight and all the consequences there of, you do, so do what is right for you.

If you have not invested in this important book, I suggest you work through it. It was very helpful to me:

http://goo.gl/Ndng2U

Good luck.

[Juhygtfrdsd 154]

I kinda in the same situation.. Although we are not the same size etc...but i feel this is a positive thing...dont push, dont rush let her. Let her see your transformation..you be surprised and she may follow in your steps...im hoping for the same...but i always say you cant help someone who does not want to be helped and is not ready...always have to take care of you first...this is NOT an easy way out this is very hard and a life changing decision... Be happy be blessed that you are actually helping her too.

Edited March 29, 2016 by shortstuff4ever78

[Christinamo7 4,041]

I think you might both feel insecure about the changes.

My bestie and I tend to eat very differently, so we often go on a picnic when the weather is fine, or go out to listen to live music. I hope that you two will find activities to share where the differing lifestyles will not matter anymore. and there is no reason once you get past a couple of months that you can't go out to dinner together or a movie.

Edited March 29, 2016 by Christinamo7

[lmwilla 21]

Thank you all! It is great to have this forum where we can all relate. I will definitely look into that book, it looks like it is a great resource. I am just so excited and I wish I could share this with her. Hopefully my changes will inspire her too!

[KristenLe 5,979]

Well it is tough being a pioneer, they get all the arrows. I have some people in my life who tried to talk me out of this who are now going to Mexico to get this done because they see my results. So that is a possible outcome.

But even if she doesn't, you have to live your life. Our friends and family don't have to carry the extra weight and all the consequences there of, you do, so do what is right for you.

If you have not invested in this important book, I suggest you work through it. It was very helpful to me:

http://goo.gl/Ndng2U

Good luck.

Thank you. Just downloaded the book to my Kindle.

Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

[KristenLe 5,979]

You can still go and sit and talk at dinner...you'll just be eating very little. I've thought about this issue alot because food is often involved with whatever my boyfriend and I do on the weekends. I am just in the beginning stages of my journey but have already started thinking of other activities we can do and what I could eat when we do go out for dinner. Be sure to communicate with your friend and talk about how you both feel. Good luck.

Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

[Cape Crooner 589]

Yes, I was on a "diet" for 50 years. Basically, it meant avoiding casual dining out in favor of some sort of dietetic meal at home. My wife would get pissed when I'd turn down events because I was afraid it would make me even fatter!

I'm 6 months out today and we've been enjoying dining out for the last 4 months. As others have said, you just eat less and either share or take it home.

My wife is much happier now that we can eat out "on a whim" without blowing my diet.