My sleeve surgery was Dec 2011. Beginning about 6 weeks post op, working out was one of the integral aspects of my weight loss / health improvement efforts. It helped me in sooo many ways - reducing muscle loss, made me feel good, improved heart health, reduced blood sugars etc etc. In the end though, the way it helped me the most is getting to goal and finding a better body than I ever knew I had under all that! working out helped me be more shapely.

A year ago I had a pretty high level of fitness, but life started throwing obstacles at me. It started with a problem with my right hip that wasn't properly diagnosed and treated at first. Then, I developed a few other issues that at the very least discouraged me from working out. I remained active, but not that focused attention to fitness for most of 2015.

So, here I am a year later, finally on the road to recovery (2016 challenges so far have been a surgical complication which led to a big infection followed by a hellish few weeks dealing with kidney stone) and I recognize some old thinking/feeling about exercise. To be honest, I have been largely bed ridden/chair ridden since late January due to these latest issues.... i haven't just lost the appearance of fitness, I don't have the stamina that i used to. I finally make it through the day without an afternoon nap - I guess I have been pretty sick really.

this morning as I was dressing I realized that I feel fat even though I am still at goal. It is that old all or nothing thinking - just because I am not as fit as I was - it must be terrible. I also had that feeling like it is impossible to ever get there, who am I kidding, why try?? Alot of these thoughts were internal messaging, not really rational thoughts.

It was an eye opener to me to find old tapes wanting to replay in my head.

what I know rationally is the key is just to do it. There is no start, no end - fitness is a daily activity. (I stole this concept from the Julian Michaels quote that goes something like this - Transformation is not a goal but a daily activity).

Anyway, I remind myself to be gentle - I have spent nearly 2 months semi bed ridden, and before that had way reduced activity - it will take time to build back up. I know where to start (I have a whole fitness routine from my physical therapist) and I have been successful before so I KNOW this is possible.

I am pretty sure I will always be an obese person (in terms of certain attitudes, old tapes in the head etc) and will always need to be on the lookout for these kind of destructive thoughts.

I have set a very realistic fitness goal that I aspire to hit by the end of the year, but just doing "something" right now is better than nothing so that is where I begin! this week has been lots of shorter walks... and doing some of my physical therapy for my hip (which feels great right now luckily!)

This morning I decided to talk back to the negative tapes in my head and pat myself on the back for still being at goal, still being able to run upstairs - ha - in spite of my setbacks.

It seems that vets often post about getting off track eating wise, which of course is absolutely the main reason for regain, but I wonder how many are working to find that workout/fitness level again?

I love the honesty of this post. I also love that you're on the mend!

One thing to consider is, as sucky as being sidelined due to medical issues has been, it's given your hip a chance to rest and heal. So that's a fortunate payoff from several very unfortunate situations!

As many times in my life that I've returned to fitness, once I reach a certain level, I feel absolutely great, and resolve not to let myself forget the feeling - and then, one thing or another happens, and my fitness plan falls off the rails. Who was it who said "it isn't about how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up"?

Good for you for re-starting exercise and taking it slowly. I'm sure after a few weeks of building back up you will begin to feel better physically and emotionally.

I also haven't been working out, but mine is purely because I am lazy, I've been working 16 hour days, and I'm exhausted. I am also the same weight I was before and I'm maintaining at goal, however I have barely worked out at all. On one hand, I don't miss it because it seems like as soon as I start working out I gain weight- my body likes muscle, which annoys me because then I don't fit in my clothing. I do feel sometimes though more of the fat girl feelings when I'm not working out, even if logically my scale tells me my weight hasn't changed and all of my clothes fit fine. I suppose the endorphin boost you get from a workout contributes to improving your mood and without it you tend to feel a little blah.

Good luck getting back into it!

The good news is, while you may have lost a bit of cardiovascular endurance and muscle during this time, you haven't gained weight. I had a similar period of inactivity in the late supper and fall of this year. I didn't regularly exercise for a full 5 months! In the past, when I had gone off the rails like that with fitness, it was always SO daunting to get back into it because, along with losing my conditioning, I'd also gained a good 40+ pounds. I actually found that when I got back into regular exercise in January, I wasn't as bad off as I'd thought I'd be, because at least I hadn't gained weight. I was able to get back into a routine much easier than in the past. Hopefully you will have a similar experience.

Restarting exercise after injuries is always hard. For me it was that I wanted to do too much too soon. I never really had injuries until I started exercising heavily about 6 years ago. I've had a torn calf, torn hamstring, and two Achilles surgeries. Those are killers because you are in a cast for 6 weeks and then a boot for 6 weeks. Sure enough as soon as I got the boot (I could drive then) I would be back at the gym overdoing it.

Take it easy to start, and start small. Don't push it too quickly or you will reinsure yourself. Good luck with your new routine. Just stick with it and it will become a breeze to exercise again.

Glad to hear you're able to be up and about again, CGJ. That's a big improvement.

Loved your post. Starting is the tough part for me.

5-4-3-2-1 ... START!