So last night my husband and I were meeting a friend at a restaurant for dinner. As we were pulling up I said to my husband remember I prefer a table not a booth (I feel too tight in a booth still) and he says, well [friend's name] prefers booths. We go in and meet her and I politely said to her do you mind if we get a table not a booth, then she goes up to the hostess and says can we please have a booth for three. GRRRRR

I know it's minor but it really pissed me off

Sadly, that woman will still be a bitchh.

Why "sadly?" She deserves to go through life being a bittch.

@@Sophie74656 --

I already wrote a note to you, but somehow it disappeared when I tried to follow it by quoting Michigan Chic.

My guess is that your husband and this charmer were friends long before you arrived in his life? If so, she's jealous that she has to share him (not that I'm saying "share" is the appropriate word). She's less central to him and gets to spend less in-person and phone time with him. Tossing the straw wrapper into his glass says that she has a right to be as easy and casual with him as before. She's showing ownership. If your husband truly is oblivious, he needs to be made aware that she has made herself a marital issue. My next guess is that he has at least some awareness, but doesn't know how to handle it.

There may be more than meets the eye going on here. Talk to your husband about it.

I don't like booths at all, even when I was at my thinnest. I am short and booths never give me the support or height I need to enjoy my meal.

I would have have asked her, "was it really necessary to ignore my request? I'll remember that for the next time."

People like that make the ugly in me come out.

yeah sh'e not the best person, my husband is friends with her and sometimes in order to spend time wiht my husband I have to put up with her tagging along.

at the restaurant she takes the wrapper off her straw and tosses the paper into my husband's glass of Water and thinks it's just the funniest thing ever.

Sounds like shenanigans that a teenager would engage in.

I'm not understanding why you let her ignore your request for the table.

There's a lot that I don't get about this situation.

As far as booths go....I hate them now.....and probably will continue to hate them after losing a bunch of weight.....they are usually too low and give my knees a fit.

I am short too and don't like booths. However, I would have told them to sit in the booth by themselves and I would have sat alone or left. how disrespectful to you. Your husband needs an attitude adjustment. No one should treat someone the are supposed to love in that manner. Sorry for you sweetie. doesn't matter if you are heavy or thin if you prefer to sit at a table instead of a booth your feelings should count.

@@Sophie74656 Well guess what?! I use to hate sitting in my school desk and now not only do I sit at it comfortably I also sit Indian style in my seat because my whole body can fit in the chair! What your "friend" did was a bitch move and your husband should have said something! What was her point in doing that? I don't know what the paying situation was but if it wasn't you paying I'd be racking that bill UP! Next time your husband might say something. I'm a big mouth though so I would have corrected her to the hostess and got my dang seat!

How rude! Just remember what goes around comes around. Karma is a bitch!

P.S. I would have to boot my husband in the rear. Mine is the opposite, he will actually go out of his way to make sure I am comfortable. Sometimes to the point where I get embarrassed. I have a very bad back and he is so considerate. I am pretty lucky that way.

I think at that point, I would have, in front of so called friend, told your husband you would wait in car! And it's much more than weight with a booth, too short, bad back, etc. and how rude for this so called friend to be such a public asshole. I hope your husband is more supportive in the other areas of your wls journey

Interesting discussion. Before I had WLS, I was obese and one of the problems I had was eating at restaurants. If I ate at a booth, invariably, food would find their way onto my clothing. It was messy. If I ate at a table, I didn't seem to have that problem.

It wasn't an issue of feeling comfortable. It was more of an issue of whether I needed to bring along an extra set of clothes to change into after the meal or go directly home afterwards.

@@Sophie74656 --

I already wrote a note to you, but somehow it disappeared when I tried to follow it by quoting Michigan Chic.

My guess is that your husband and this charmer were friends long before you arrived in his life? If so, she's jealous that she has to share him (not that I'm saying "share" is the appropriate word). She's less central to him and gets to spend less in-person and phone time with him. Tossing the straw wrapper into his glass says that she has a right to be as easy and casual with him as before. She's showing ownership. If your husband truly is oblivious, he needs to be made aware that she has made herself a marital issue. My next guess is that he has at least some awareness, but doesn't know how to handle it.

My thought exactly. The straw wrapper thing raised red flags. IMO, as you lose weight she is going to do more of this to try to make you look less significant in your husband's life. Women like her tend to be insecure and need to use you to make herself look better in front of your husband. I'm sorry for the treatment, mean people suck.

@@sharkgirl -- I don't see the "friend" escalating her behavior, but just continuing what is essentially a temper tantrum. In either case, of course, @@Sophie74656's husband should deal with her.

Sophie, that sounds as though I'm talking about you as though you're not here. Sorry about that.

Edited November 16, 201510 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch

Not enough info here to adjudicate. [Friend's name] seems oblivious, but that's probably not due to bad character or indifference to you. However, if there are indications that is true, I hope you don't do anything more serious than the occasional meal with [friend's name]. At any point, did you explain more fully? If the table-not-booth problem doesn't resonate, how do you talk about the way you need to manage your eating after surgery?

You need to plan how you will deal with this issue the next time, and you know there will be a next time. Rehearse what you will say as she tries to get a booth again.... Something like..."wait, no, we got a booth last time and it sucked. I want a table." Warn your husband ahead of time that you won't suffer another dinner being uncomfortable.

I can finally fit comfortably in most booths. It is a great feeling. You will get there!

Thanks for the replies everyone

I just had to get that out of my system. Thank you for the support

Edited November 16, 201510 yr by Sophie74656

So why do you call this person your friend? No friend of mine would ever do something like that to me.

She's really my husband's friend not my friend....none of our other friends like her

Sounds like there might be a deeper issue here.. Why is she still your husband's friend, and why'd he ignore your request? I'd be mad.