I went to a town meeting last week and it was taped, I didn't really think about it but I saw it on tv last night (A local chanel). There I was as huge as life and the worst part is i was sitting back too and you can see my fat rolls.

Here I was thinking wow I've lost over 50 pounds and I feel better but Oh my god I still look like a huge blimp, talk about a self esteem downer.

I feel so embarassed what a rude awakening...............:think

You are a work in progress.... think what it would have looked like if you had been at your heaviest! You have accomplished a LOT and you will accomplish more and one day you will be surprised at how great you look!! Even better than you look now after 50+# gone!!!

Don't be so hard on yourself, remember beauty comes from the heart. Also they say that the TV adds at least 10lbs to your body. Cheer up!!

If you've lost 50llbs you're doing amazing, good for you! So what you saw a little extra, it could have been worse it could have been 50llbs worse! Keep that TV footage and look back at it next year you'll be fine don't let it ge to you.

Jx

Don't get frustrated and lose focus. I do know what you mean. I have lost forty since my surgery 1/19/07. I just got back from a cruise last week. I had bought some new outfits and a new dress for Captain's night. I was so excited, thought I looked good because the weight loss is noticeable. I had the ship's photographers take a few pictures. I was totally shocked when i saw those pictures. I still looked huge with a fat back and roll of fat around my stomach. I refused to buy any because i was so upset. I held my tears in because i didn't want anyone to see. My mom ended up buying one of the pictures (without me knowing at the time). She said I looked fine but I don't believe her and I never want to see that picture again. I don't know if a different dress or pose would have made a difference but the pictures i saw of me where not the one's I invisioned. I even criticized my flabby arms not celebrating the fact that my arm is flabby because I have lost weight. Then I thought about it and wondered to myself, what in the world had I looked like in December prior to the surgery? Tried not to beat myself up or lose focus but I just anticipated some nice pictures. I did end up going back and buying one. I am adding it to my personal picture journal. Hopefully by next year's cruise I will really be able to see a difference and remember to wear something with sleeves .

I think it is important to look at the possibility that we do not see ourselves as others. I believe your "critical" eye is looking at you in the images and emphasizing the problems and not looking at the total image. Yes, we are overweight and don't look our very best but we are losing and will get to where we will feel better about ourselves...but maybe never love how we look even thin.

I have a reverse image problem...I don't see myself as heavy as I am. Then when I do see a picture (christmas was tough) I am shocked at how huge I am.

Tootarts..you are 30 pounds lighter than me right now. I've lost 44. I'm going to consider hitting 200, on the scale, a huge milestone. To be 190 I'd be ecstatic. I'm going use us to be my motivation today!!! Thanks!

sula

Stay focused. You are doing great. Don't let it get you down.

Use it as a motivator and stay on course! Your doing great so far !

You shouldn't be so down about such a big weightloss.

But I do know how horrible that feels. Just when ya think you're looking so fine...I glance and see myself in the full length mirror, and YIKES!

But, I'm a work in progress as well...and I may NEVER like what I see.

Oh, that's such a horrid feeling, and it is embarrassing to feel that you felt so great and when you get that slap in the face reality of photos, its shattering.

50lb is 50lb and one day it will be more. YOu cannot skip the middle part unfortunately, you have to work your way down to goal and your achievement is enormous, try to be proud of that and realise that every single day you're working towards looking a little better.

Even at goal weight, its hard to realise that some of those figure problems (I've got saddlebags, a droopy bum and cellulite) are just not going to disappear. I know we all SAY we're realistic about what we'll achieve when we go into this but I think most of us fantasise about looking perfect and for most of us, it just doesnt happen.

And whoever said beauty is from the heart up above was right.

Don't let it get you down, you are working on it.

Think of it this way, it's a journey, a lesson of sorts. Because you were obese means that you have a complete and total understanding of one of life's journeys that thin people will NEVER understand. It's a wisdom kind of thing. In the end I think it is all worth it. It may not seem like it today but someday when you are a little tiny older frail person, you will be more wise than you realized possible.

Thank you everyone for your remarks You really make me feel better about my acomplishment of loosing the 50 plus pounds........I felt sooo bad this morning because I had a dream about the show and my fat rolls. It's amazing when reality slaps you in the face but your right Crishel I really need to not loose my focus because I could have been 50 pounds heavier on the tely...THANKS

Tootarts

I could say all kinds of platitudes but the reality of the situation is you are who you are. So now you have great motivation to move forward. Your weight doesn't define who you are. You have lost 50 pounds! think about what you would have looked like with 50 more pounds added! Feel good about where you are, you will never be there again! Keep up the good work, you are on the right road! When I look back on my pictures when I weighed 378 pounds, I can't believe that was me. Now at 211 I can say thanks be to God I have the band and wil never be there again! I went from a size 28 to a size 14 and still moving. It took a good 100 pounds for people to notice and fornme to notice there is a difference. You are a person worthy of being healthy and happy, just keep on keeping on!

I agree Tootarts, you are being too critical on yourself. It is bad when we do it! You have to think about where you came form, and where you are going! 50 pounds is a great start! Don't be embarassed, be proud. Someday you will look at it and never believe that was you! Good luck!