So while my hubby was supportive of me having surgery- he mentions NOTHING about my progress. Not a word, peep, high five, good job, keep it up-- NOTHING. I figure its typical male head in the rear type thing so I use the forums, my sisters and kids as my motivators.

So my 11 year old is obsessed with developing six-pack abs. He's downloaded a few workouts and was doing them last night in front of my husband. I came down and my hubby immediately chimes in "if I had dedication like that I'd be a supermodel by now" (referring to our son).

Ummm-- so he notices and speaks to his dedication, but I'm chopped liver?!?! I'm up in the mornings jogging my still obese body around my neighborhood-- I'm eating 800-1000 calories a day, having NO JUNK (while still ensuring they have their likes & wants available to eat),doing circuit training in the gym and am slave to the alarms on my phone to remind me to take my Vitamins.

But my son's 100# soaking wet body and his now and then effort for abs is what he notices and acknowledges?? Seriously?? Ugh. MEN,

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

I agree with @@VSGAnn2014 . My hubs and I have been married 28 years. I decided to do this, and he only had concerns about the safety of the procedure. Once I was healed, and we were out walking or hiking, and he had his best bud back...he's been great. The same guy I married, and the same guy he was the day of my surgery. No drama, no head games, no threats, or insecurities. I'd say my guy is pretty normal. I'd say some of these other guys are not normal.

I cannot complain now about my husband. He notices and he will flat out tell anyone who ask she has worked out and watched everything she puts into her mouth. She amazes me has fallen out more than once! It feels great when he tells others, BUT he doesn't tell me! I have shared every pound with him. He has seen me struggle and helped me choose the healthy option when I struggled to make good decisions. He is quick to tell me when I don't need to wear those pants that I insisted on wearing because the were falling off my butt. He just never really voices that I look good. It comes out in spurts, and I look forward to them. One day I put on a skirt and he said, wow! He is very unemotional and his parents raising him we quick to tell him how awful he was (which he isn't) and the praises were few. He is not me! I do know that in the almost 15 years I've been married that this was an issue long before the surgery. It has taken years of telling him I love him, I miss him, I want him to hold me or whatever it was I wanted for him to just do it. It's bad habits that have been built. I use to tease him that in my next life I wanted to come back as his cell phone. I even chime out, ring ring!! He knows exactly what It means when I do it. The point in me telling you this is that my work on the man I married is now the fabulous husband I have now. It takes time and if you want it, you have to be willing to give a lot of time and effort. Yes it feels great to walk by and have my husband grab at my butt or put his hand on my back and rub a little. Both because it's obvious that my body is different. That is his way of saying he notices it without saying it. It's a two way road and my biggest fear is losing him, I now know his biggest fear is losing me.

Mine sounds similar.. Man, trying to get emotion out of him.. is like pulling teeth.. but he shows me in different ways..

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

My husband is not an asshole at all.. He had a horrible childhood and (maybe you weren't talking about him) but giving compliments comes so hard for him. It used to frustrate me.. but I realized he just is who he is.

What @@wannaBthinsoon said.

So I am going to approach this from a different angle...My weight was never an issue for my husband. He was concerned about my health, but never ever said anything about my weight. He truly loved me when I was at my lowest (the day we met) and loved me at my heaviest (the day I decided to have surgery).

Good point.. My husband loved me being large, and wasn't really on board with surgery, but supported my choice.

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

>

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

I never said i didn't call him that- and you'll see that I agreed with awjones when she characterized him the same. But I said *something* about VSGAnn's comment rubbed me the wrong way. Something-- some random unknown and possibly baseless reason... not solidified in fact or truth in any way, shape, or form. Maybe she's coming from the same exact mind set I was able to connect with awjones on-- but it just didn't come off that way to me. That's all.

If I could count all the ways he's a Jackass, I'd be a millionaire.

>

Some of y'all are married to some seriously large assholes.

You can call 'em "challenged" or anything else if you want, but they rate high on my assholery scale.

Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Keep in mind that my vent here this is only a fraction of our life. It speaks nothing to how we've connected and grown as a couple or the life we've made for ourselves. There are many aspects where he's great, this whole WLS arena is new (for me and him) so it means finding our footing.

If your life/relationship is pure rose petals and sunshine-- good for you-- but storms can and do come. Everyone weathers them differently.

The only scale my husband will be meassred on is mine-- none other turly matter

You're the one who said he was a jackass... now we can't agree with you?? Okayyyy.

I never said i didn't call him that- and you'll see that I agreed with awjones when she characterized him the same. But I said *something* about VSGAnn's comment rubbed me the wrong way. Something-- some random unknown and possibly baseless reason... not solidified in fact or truth in any way, shape, or form. Maybe she's coming from the same exact mind set I was able to connect with awjones on-- but it just didn't come off that way to me. That's all.

One said jackass, the other a*****e lol. Just because your husband is lacking in one arena that you find important doesn't diminish all the other ways he shows your love. That is the problem with venting online to strangers that know nothing about you and your complete story of life. They only hear a portion of what is going on. No one and no relationship is without fault.

Did he compliment you pre-surgery on a new outfit or hairdo or new job?

Listen this is not a marriage counseling site.You are on your own weight loss journey and that what we are here to support you on...all this other nonsense about the fact that your husband doesn't compliment you is a waste of time.I am right there with VSGAnn....don't care about the woes and approval of your significant other compared to his comments about your son.No one can walk in your shoes.

It's a rant and rave section! So are there specific rants and raves that are allowed? She felt the need to rant. So she did.

Next!

It's a rant and rave section! So are there specific rants and raves that are allowed? She felt the need to rant. So she did.

Or the other obvious-- unsubscribe to the thread if they feel it doesn't meet with the spirit of the site...

There are some nasty people on this site. The very reason people cycle through so quickly. I asked a question, no need to get huffy and puffy. I swear I think so many on here must be miserable in their day to day lives because it shines through clearly.

One said jackass, the other a*****e lol. Just because your husband is lacking in one arena that you find important doesn't diminish all the other ways he shows your love. That is the problem with venting online to strangers that know nothing about you and your complete story of life. They only hear a portion of what is going on. No one and no relationship is without fault.

Did he compliment you pre-surgery on a new outfit or hairdo or new job?

Exactly and exactly.

And not to beat a dead horse... no, he rarely to never compliments me. Its a long bone of contention for me-- which I was hoping would be different with something this dramatic. It isn't-- I'll get over it.