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Making a life changing decision

Hey guys, I am having a serious dilemma. My doctor recommended gastric surgery and I am a bit worried. I definitely want to lose weight bad but I am worried and scared at the same time.

I have never been skinny, I was always a thick girl - 150lbs. I used to exercise, dance, .... then I started gaining weight and now I am at 260lbs (5'3 tall).

I have been trying hard to lose weight but considering I work about 14 hours a day, I come home tired and dont feel like doing anything.

I decided to make radical changes. I visited a doctor last week and was recommended this procedure. My main worries are about losing too much. I definitely do not want to be skinny. I do not want to weigh less than 150lbs. Is there any possibility to stop losing weight? Any recommendation on which procedure would be the best? I refuse gastric bypass.

Edited by Katy Walton

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  • Katy Walton
    Katy Walton

    Thank you! This is why I said I already hired a personal trainer. I am starting tomorrow. I decided to go to the gym in the mornings. My main problem is that I am tired and lazy. With weight loss I w

  • Hello and welcome. First, please understand that you will still have to change your whole diet and still excerise with whatever tool you decide. You still will need to find a way to excerise at lea

  • @@Katy Walton Hi there and welcome! You are getting some great feedback already as you begin researching more about weight loss surgery options. Before you rule out any options please pl

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@@Katy Walton - what did the doctor recommend? I would listen to his recommendation.

Do you have other medical issues?

My surgeon approved me for whichever surgery I chose (lap-band or sleeve). I am very happy with my decision. I was told if I chose something he disagreed with that he wouldn't do the surgery. I think if I had expressed interest in RNY I could've gotten that as well. You may have to find another surgeon.

Good luck. Just remember this is only a tool.

  • Author

Hi Jane, my doctor gave me the same two options - either lap-band or sleeve. I have a week to think about it as I am going back on Friday morning. The insurance will cover all the cost.

I do not have any medical issues....it is just that I am tired most of the time. Being overweight is not fun as you probably know yourself.

May I ask how many pounds a month on average do you lose?

@@Katy Walton - what did the doctor recommend? I would listen to his recommendation.

Do you have other medical issues?

My surgeon approved me for whichever surgery I chose (lap-band or sleeve). I am very happy with my decision. I was told if I chose something he disagreed with that he wouldn't do the surgery. I think if I had expressed interest in RNY I could've gotten that as well. You may have to find another surgeon.

Good luck. Just remember this is only a tool.

I found myself with a similar desire as you when I was at the beginning of my consideration of weight loss surgery earlier this year.

I didn't want to do anything "too" radical......just something to give me a bit of help that, along with exercise, will yield the results I wanted.

It did not take long.....not long at all, to realize that the procedure I needed was gastric bypass. This was based on five doctor's recommendations, three of them being surgeons.

I'm 100% certain they are correct.

I'm going through the 6 months of pre-op stuff now.

I also work 13-14 hour days, too. When I finally get a day off I'm wiped out.

Good luck to you.

Edited by Dub

Hello and welcome.

First, please understand that you will still have to change your whole diet and still excerise with whatever tool you decide. You still will need to find a way to excerise at least 4-5 days a week. It helps with weight loss, but more importantly builds that muscle you will lose as the weight comes off.

As far as not being able to stop losing...that RARELY happens. It's actually more likely you will struggle to even get to your 150 goal weight, let alone exceed it. I feel like you are under the impression the weight just magically falls off of you with little to no effort on your part. Surgeons say to expect to lose 60% of your excess weight with the sleeve (that's an average). Yes, there are lots of people who get to their goal weight and even exceed it, but they have to really work at it to exceed that 60% expected number. The first few weeks you will have larger losses, then the loss is more the average 2-4 pounds per week. As you get closer to your goal, it slows even more.

I wish you luck as you look at your options and go through the process! You'll get a lot of good info here!

  • Author

Dear Babbs,

thank you for your response. I understand I will have to exercise and I already made an appointment with a personal trainer. I am starting tomorrow morning. After 10 lessons, I will get my gym membership that I have also already looked into.

I have been doing my research over the weekend and ready lots of stories about people losing too much weight and not being able to stop. I see you are about to reach your goal and it has only been a year. That is incredible!

I think I should stop worrying and discuss everything with my doctor.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it.

Hello and welcome.

First, please understand that you will still have to change your whole diet and still excerise with whatever tool you decide. You still will need to find a way to excerise at least 4-5 days a week. It helps with weight loss, but more importantly builds that muscle you will lose as the weight comes off.

As far as not being able to stop losing...that RARELY happens. It's actually more likely you will struggle to even get to your 150 goal weight, let alone exceed it. I feel like you are under the impression the weight just magically falls off of you with little to no effort on your part. Surgeons say to expect to lose 60% of your excess weight with the sleeve (that's an average). Yes, there are lots of people who get to their goal weight and even exceed it, but they have to really work at it to exceed that 60% expected number. The first few weeks you will have larger losses, then the loss is more the average 2-4 pounds per week. As you get closer to your goal, it slows even more.


I wish you luck as you look at your options and go through the process! You'll get a lot of good info here!

@@Katy Walton

Keep us posted! I'm sure you'll do great!

Well, if we couldn't stop losing weight we'd all be dead and it really wouldn't be a very effective surgery if that was the end result. As @@Babbs mentioned you will lose the weight if you work at it, following your doctor's plan. We all went through some of those worries legitimate and senseless ones too. You will be fine as long as you have a great surgeon and a good team.

@@Katy Walton - you answered your own question "I think I should stop worrying and discuss everything with me doctor" - that's exactly what you should do and remember whatever you decide to do its YOUR life, YOUR tool - so make the decision based on that. You have to do as told no one can use (work) your tool, only you!

Keep us posted -

I lose about 10-12 lbs a month

I am fine with that as I am older and have a pretty physical job and eat a bit more calories than most at this point. If I ate less calories my weight loss at this point may have been a little higher :D

You see lots of posts about people who cant stop losing because this is the place where people come to worry. If you look at it statisitcally, it is not a common long term problem.

I lost 150# to get to goal and had to fight hard to get the last 40# off. Later, I got a little under goal by working hard. Then, I had some life issues that made me go through a tough time emotionally. I started Unintentionally losing weight but rather than whining about it, I sought medical help and found out why and stopped it before it got serious. I had to take proactive steps to stimulate my appetite. I got pretty trim for my frame/body style and didn't feel very good at that lower weight. Now nearly 4 years post op, I am a couple of pounds over goal and certainly struggle more with maintaining/relosing weight than anything!.

I think there are alot of things to worry about, but the likilyhood of you maintaining a weight "skinnier" than you desire is pretty low frankly.

@@Katy Walton

Hi there and welcome!

You are getting some great feedback already as you begin researching more about weight loss surgery options.

Before you rule out any options please please please do your research first. There is a reason a surgeon helps you determine the best surgery for your medical situation. The funny thing is, most surgeons are deterring folks from choosing the band these days because of the rate of revisions to bypass or sleeve that are required.

The sleeve is no less radical than the bypass. The bypass is the gold standard in weight loss surgery but most people are terrified until they do their research. The sleeve removes 80% of your stomach, the bypass creates a pouch and reroutes. Both are radical but very effective if you follow the eating plan.

The biggest reason why people end up going with the bypass vs. the sleeve is because they have a history of Reflux/Gerd. Both the band and the sleeve can make this medical issue worse or even bring it on. The bypass can cure it.

If you don't suffer from this, then the sleeve seems like a very good option for you.

I was dead set against bypass as well until I had 3 doctors explain to me that I would do very well with it because of my Gerd issue.

I tell you all of this to hopefully get you to completely explore your options with your doctor and don't rule anything out until you both decide what is best for you.

Take a class, they are very beneficial. Call your insurance company and find a bariatric center of excellence near you. They always have classes if your surgeon does not offer one.

I can tell you I have never regretted having bypass done. I no longer have type 2 diabetes, Gerd, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, sleep apnea nor stage 3 kidney disease.

The best thing you can do is educate yourself and make sure you are completely ready to begin a whole new life because that is what you will get. And let me tell you, life 118lbs less has gotten really great!

I wish you the best of luck!

Here are a few rules of thumb:

1) The average expected weight loss from sleeve is only 60%. I don't know what the standard deviations and bell curves look like, but I would strongly suspect less than 1% of the sleever population is able to lose 100% of their excess weight, though that is the goal of almost the entire pool, and even less can enter a skinny BMI range (unless they began at little more than 35 BMI, hadn't been there that long, and had been naturally skinny in the past).

2) Weight regain following the nadir is extremely common, and nobody needs to try especially hard to make it happen. If you happen to fall into that lucky 1%, it is much easier to climb back out of it than it is to get into it in the first place.

3) If you lose too much and then start regaining to get to where you want, it can be very difficult to stop the regaining process in its tracks, and you could be fast on your way back to 260 or more.

4) By the time you are anywhere near approaching 100% weight loss, should you be among the people the can achieve that, far more than a year will have elapsed. By that time, none of us are really losing any faster than we would under a diet/exercise-based caloric deficit. In other words, once we are considered success stories (about half of excess weight loss), the weight at which we lose will be quite sluggish. If you reach a weight you are happy with, it is very easy to bring that rate to zero, but you need to be mindful of the 10-15% regain that is common, so my personal advice would be to lose every pound your tool will allow you too, knowing that the final settling place will be something a little higher than that, and hopefully around your personal ideal weight.

A lot of people have already said it, but I'll just parrot that and say Do Your Research! You are the one who has to live with your body and you need to know what wls will and will not do. It is not a miracle cure. It takes a lot of effort and work and if you can't exercise NOW because of your schedule, where are you going to find the time after surgery to do it? Surgery isn't a cure, it's just a tool to help you out, more so in the beginning but somewhat forever. If you don't do it properly, you could possibly have gone through major surgery, changed the way your body functions FOR LIFE, and still end up overweight because you didn't change your life to support a healthier lifestyle. I'm working right now to make me the best me I can and lose as much weight on my own and incorporate as much exercise as I can NOW before wls so that I can maximize my benefits and get myself into a routine that hopefully will stick for life so I can keep the weight off. If that's not your mindset, it's not going to work long term and you'll be back where you are right now in a few years. I don't want to discourage you, but I want you to fully understand what you are doing and make that commitment to yourself to see it through from start to forever because there is not a "finish" there's lower maintenance but never a finish. You can never say ah I reached my goal so now I'm going back to my old lifestyle and my fav foods that got me to this point. It just won't work.

  • Author

Thank you!

This is why I said I already hired a personal trainer. I am starting tomorrow. I decided to go to the gym in the mornings. My main problem is that I am tired and lazy. With weight loss I will have more energy. But here I am, tracking what am eating and starting my exercise tomorrow. I want to be on track before the surgery so it is easier afterwards. Trust me when I am say am very dedicated to what I started. Enough is enough and I finally reached the point when am ready for all the hard work.

I also think this forum will be a great help and support.

A lot of people have already said it, but I'll just parrot that and say Do Your Research! You are the one who has to live with your body and you need to know what wls will and will not do. It is not a miracle cure. It takes a lot of effort and work and if you can't exercise NOW because of your schedule, where are you going to find the time after surgery to do it? Surgery isn't a cure, it's just a tool to help you out, more so in the beginning but somewhat forever. If you don't do it properly, you could possibly have gone through major surgery, changed the way your body functions FOR LIFE, and still end up overweight because you didn't change your life to support a healthier lifestyle. I'm working right now to make me the best me I can and lose as much weight on my own and incorporate as much exercise as I can NOW before wls so that I can maximize my benefits and get myself into a routine that hopefully will stick for life so I can keep the weight off. If that's not your mindset, it's not going to work long term and you'll be back where you are right now in a few years. I don't want to discourage you, but I want you to fully understand what you are doing and make that commitment to yourself to see it through from start to forever because there is not a "finish" there's lower maintenance but never a finish. You can never say ah I reached my goal so now I'm going back to my old lifestyle and my fav foods that got me to this point. It just won't work.

@@Katy Walton a trainer is awesome especially in the beginning to help start a routine and hold you accountable, and help to make sure you are working all your areas and not just your fav spots(I'm guilty of doing exercises because I like them and not doing the ones I hate). You can do it, you just have to believe in yourself! :) I'm not trying to down you, I think you are doing a GREAT thing, but I remember when I was in my early 20's looking into gastric bypass at the advice of my doctor, but I wasn't ready to do everything that is involved for long term success. I didn't want to make those hard changes and I didn't have any support behind me to cheer me on when I needed it. I thought I'd have surgery, exercise for maybe a year and then go back to my "normal" life. When someone told me that if I didn't make the change for life I was going to fail, I bailed. I don't want people to make that same mistake I did. Embrace the changes as they come and be happy later on. I can't get back my list years unfortunately.

  • Author

Hey guys!!! I just had my appointment with a surgeon. We went through everything and he ended up saying that a lap band is the best option for me. My next appointment is on Sept 29 ....that is when they gonna schedule my surgery date. I am very excited about that.

I purchased a gym membership, had my first session with a trainer on Wednesday and am trying to get better with my eating habits. I am so ready to do this and dedicate my life to living healthy!

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