Spent the day in emerg yesterday. Pain still under my left rib cage. All tests said I was good except there is still some Fluid in my abscess but not enough to worry about..Okay we will see!

That is not what got me. The attending physician asked me if I had Bariatric surgery. I said yes and he said so this abscess has been here a while then. I said yes.

Then he looked me up and down and asked when I had the surgery. I said almost 2 years ago...Hardly got the words out when he said, 'how much did you lose?' I said 211 lbs.

He replied, 'ummm not bad I guess.' in a drone voice....

What the H*ll! I was gob smacked. I did not expect him to do a dance of joy but it would have been nice if he had at least said how do you feel about that. Or are you happy you have lost that much. What would have been the magic number to get him to say terrific... What a idiot!

like I said I was not expecting the happy dance. But in the past when I came in there with issues it was always my weight. Now it is WLS. No one seems to be content with what ever you do. It is disheartening at times. I paid dearly for this and happy to have done it. You would think if he had nothing nice to say don't comment at all.

I hope he wasn't thinking oh she took the easy way out...Because if he had said that I would have crushed him! Not joking either!

Jerk

My dad used to tell me "don't broadcast your problems looking for sympathy...most either don't care or are happy you are struggling"....the older I get the more I believe in this statement! Jealousy, ignorance, vanity, narcissism, and just plain indifference to your fellow man run rampant these days! Thankfully there are sites like these for like minded people to get answers and to vent from people who understand....

I have had many bad experiences with doctors and surgeons - in the context of sick and dying loved ones... so nothing shocks me anymore.

i view most of them as high priced mecanics, not necessarily known for being warm, supportive human beings. Hopefully, they are good mecanics, don't expect too much more.

(BTW, How the heck did you have an abcess that has been there forever? )

I am lucky to have found a couple of exceptions. My bariatric team (especially the surgeons!) repeatedly demonstrated deep caring and respect for the morbidly obese... i have never felt so "understood" and for the first time really listened to someone who told me to stop bashing myself over my obesity. He helped me understand obesity as a disease process, no as a moral or personality failure.

My plastic surgeon, Dr Sauceda is also very warm, caring and a man who feels his calling is helping us feel better about our new healthier bodies. He does it because it brings him joy, not just because it brings him money.

@@Babbs

Girl, its true! I work with docs every day all day and they get younger and younger and as a profession it is showing. I've even had some residents and fellows jokingly consult me about how to "look" older. As baby boomers and older docs continue to age up it is creating a stark contrast in relating to patients and even receiving adequate care. Age and as we all know weight effects are how you are seen, viewed, heard and even treated as a patient. The tone was biting but the sentiment is true and well-documented.

No, I hear ya! You really are right. I was just trying to be funny. "Trying" being the key word

I have had many bad experiences with doctors and surgeons - in the context of sick and dying loved ones... so nothing shocks me anymore.

i view most of them as high priced mecanics, not necessarily known for being warm, supportive human beings. Hopefully, they are good mecanics, don't expect too much more.

(BTW, How the heck did you have an abcess that has been there forever? )

I am lucky to have found a couple of exceptions. My bariatric team (especially the surgeons!) repeatedly demonstrated deep caring and respect for the morbidly obese... i have never felt so "understood" and for the first time really listened to someone who told me to stop bashing myself over my obesity. He helped me understand obesity as a disease process, no as a moral or personality failure.

My plastic surgeon, Dr Sauceda is also very warm, caring and a man who feels his calling is helping us feel better about our new healthier bodies. He does it because it brings him joy, not just because it brings him money.

Well I have mentioned it on the boards before. At 18 months I got another leak. Which is more common to those who get a Rue n Y procedure. The leak caused an abscess and I had a drain put in and now the CT scan showed the abscess still has Fluid in it but not enough to do me harm.....go figure eh!

like I said I was not expecting the happy dance. But in the past when I came in there with issues it was always my weight. Now it is WLS. No one seems to be content with what ever you do. It is disheartening at times. I paid dearly for this and happy to have done it. You would think if he had nothing nice to say don't comment at all.

I hope he wasn't thinking oh she took the easy way out...Because if he had said that I would have crushed him! Not joking either!

Make a list RJ. There are a bunch of us ready to spit on them for you!! Prayers up for a complete healing along with peace and calm for your spirit.

Make a list RJ. There are a bunch of us ready to spit on them for you!! Prayers up for a complete healing along with peace and calm for your spirit.

You would need a gang..lol

• RJ'S/beginning,

Sending you a {[(hug)]}.

Of all the people on the site, you are the person who deserves better health. I sure hope it finds you soon.

As for the idiot doctor--words completely escape me in describing my disgust for him. My mother told me never to wish bad on other people, because it will come back at you twice as hard.

That being said, I'd like to be a fly on the wall if he ever got beotch slapped by karma.

May you find better health soon,

Kathleen

@RJ'S/beginning - that guys sounds like a jerk. You have strength and do not need the validation of another human for your dignity. That comes from within, and you have it! I always remember people can only make me feel bad if I let them, so I usually don't let them. However, if they try, especially if its in the context of a medical professional or other service industry, I don't let them get away with trying. I really make it my business to never be anyone's victim, though that's hard to remember when you feel beaten down.

In the US, there are ways to complain that will at least get them a slap on the wrist. Not sure what it's like in Canada, but here, you could go to the hospital and make a stink. At the very least, he'll feel the pain of being called out, and maybe think twice before doing that to another patient. If it happens often enough, they'll get rid of him. Believe me, this was not isolated for that individual. He probably treats everyone like that. People only act like that because they can get away with it. I feel it's my duty to stop them, lol. You might feel better if you try

@RJ'S/beginning - that guys sounds like a jerk. You have strength and do not need the validation of another human for your dignity. That comes from within, and you have it! I always remember people can only make me feel bad if I let them, so I usually don't let them. However, if they try, especially if its in the context of a medical professional or other service industry, I don't let them get away with trying. I really make it my business to never be anyone's victim, though that's hard to remember when you feel beaten down.

In the US, there are ways to complain that will at least get them a slap on the wrist. Not sure what it's like in Canada, but here, you could go to the hospital and make a stink. At the very least, he'll feel the pain of being called out, and maybe think twice before doing that to another patient. If it happens often enough, they'll get rid of him. Believe me, this was not isolated for that individual. He probably treats everyone like that. People only act like that because they can get away with it. I feel it's my duty to stop them, lol. You might feel better if you try

I did make a stink another time and got the head nurse transferred to another floor...It took a lot of convincing and the staff assisted in it as well.

But this guy. I think he was wanting to hear 20 lbs. But when it was 211, I think he was taken back and said something dumb. I also think that he was processing it the entire time I was there. But did not say anything more. It did stick with me that he made it sound like nothing but then that is really his problem not mine. He is a new doctor like all the others that get their time in emerg so they can finish their training and go on to be just another one who does not have an answer for those who suffer from this disease. It is sad really. Because there is not one doctor so far that has given me the time of day here to help when I have needed to find out if I should head back to my surgeon....They help in the medical part but then they fluff me off......

I would love to do my part to change this conduct but it is like talking to walls. Or a dirty secret we need to keep in the closet. I am so confused by the way the medical field acts around this province.

I can't do it alone. I just can't. But no one is talking. No one wants to come out of the weed work to make things better. It is so hard!

Wow he's jus envious.... and he totally wanted to do a "happy dance" but pride got in the way....WOOT!! WOOT! to you...excellent job...hope you're feeling better now...Hugs!!!

I posted on a similar theme earlier this morning. My orthopedic surgeon asked me questions about the band when I saw him yesterday. The guy is a fellow and chair of the department and yet he had no clue really about how the band works. I know he thought it was like a 'set it and forget it' tool and I hope I made it understood that it's not nearly that simple.

He kept looking at my 'before' picture which is what is in the system at the hospital. He said I need to change it because I'm unrecognizable. I know he's right because I'm still working on recognizing myself. No one can lose half their body size and not have body issues. At least he wasn't a jerk like your ER doctor. He was just totally uninformed.

Rj I just can't wrap my head around a new leak at 18 months..I am not questioning you...I am just saying that is contrary to what I thought possible...so I keep forgetting. It is a reminder that bariatric surgery is no joke.

Don't overthink this guy. He said what he said. Who knows why he said it.

As we all know, most ER guys do ER work so they won't ever have to have a follow-up visit, i.e., a patient relationship with anyone. Ever. (I have friends who are ER docs, and that's what they say. They don't want it. They're awful at it.)

I'm happy to report that all my docs (and hubby's) are just great. And many of them are in their 40s. At our age, we can't afford any more old docs. We need all our docs not to retire before we die.