I am getting ready to have my RNY surgery on Tuesday and I seem to have some nay sayers. You know, those people who are supposed to be your friends but always want to try and sabotage you. This time it was my best friend. She went down with me to my pre op class and found out exactly what I'm going to be putting myself through. She has the nerve to say to me today. Are you sure you want to go through with this?

Seriously?!?!?! After everything she's seem me go through over the past six years she really wants to ask me that. The decision to have surgery has not come lightly to me. There has been a lot of research, doctors visits, psychological visits, and all the reading I've done over the past years that I've been thinking about having surgery.

So in short, heck yes! I most definitely am going through with this surgery. I feel for once I'm going to have the tools at my disposal to lose the almost 200 pounds that's been clinging to my body.

Sorry, rant over! I know something like this has been posted before but this really did grind my gears a little hard today.

It really seems like your hormones are a touch... touched. Can you imagine what kind of friend she would be if she didn't ask you to second guess such a huge decision. It is likely because she has watched you misbehave with food for six years that she doubts your commitment and aside from that, surgery is a huge deal. If someone came to you, no matter the reason and said hey, we are coming to take your friend away and we are going to cut her intestines apart and reroute things, you wouldn't be a very good friend if you didn't ask her to have some pause and make sure she had a clear understanding of the massive life changes that were about to be underway. You have to remember, that while there is a strong side effect of losing weight for most people with WLS, there are also huge negative side effects (mal absorption, cross addictions, possible death) I am sure they made her aware of. Try and have a bit of patience, it sounds like you are on a hunt for a fight that really isn't there.

Edited August 23, 201412 yr by GummyTummy

I understand your frustration. My mom did the same thing up until right before my WLS. It's concern mixed with love mixed with a feeling of helplessness that they can't help you themselves. It's also scary as hell for them. Know that after my WLS , my mom is now very happy I did this and it took a few things for her to come around. One was that I didn't die on the table. That was a biggie. Second was my quick recovery. Third was my dramatic and rapid weight loss and fourth was how damned good I felt as the weight has come off. I got my life back. I cut her some slack and didn't let her worried cautionary talk deter me. Good luck and remind her that you need her full support because it will be rough for you in the first few post op weeks. Sounds like she's a good friend if she took the time to learn about your surgery. Good luck!

I am going to have surgery soon myself. Don't be too upset with your friend. Where you have read and researched info about wls , your friend on the other hand was hearing all this info for the first time. As a friend she was probably just concerned about someone she cared about. I'm sure when you first heard about the different surgeries and the procedures, it was a little scary. Just give your friend a little time to understand your reasons for your decision,and let her know you,have thought about everything. Good luck on your journey

It's hard for any of us to interpret your friends intentions. She may be non-supportive, but she also may be supporting you by making sure you are totally OK with everything.

My sister said pretty much the same thing, day of surgery, while I was sitting on my hospital bed, with IV fluids going and some premeds already on board. She said "are you SURE you want to do this?.... We can leave right now and go have lunch and do some shopping and sightseeing". (We were in Tijuana). And although she had expressed concern with my decision ever since telling her about it months earlier, I did not take her question as negativity. She wanted me to know whatever I decided was OK and she "had my back" no matter what. And that's what sisters (or best friend) are for.

I agree with Kindle, I told my best friend when I told him after I knew the date of surgery and he was stunned for a second before saying that weight loss surgery sounds so extreme, are you sure you don't want to do it on your own anymore? And I told him that he has seen me through many diets, I lost some and it all came back. I need the surgery to help me as a tool and I want to go out dancing with him again like the old days. Then he shut up all the questions and fully supported me, reminded me to moisturise early to prevent saggy skin lol. After the surgery he came to visit me at home with his boyfriend and brought me a bouquet of white roses.

I think maybe your best friend might want to be sure that you really are ready for the journey. Hope you can find the way to make up with your friend. Good luck!

So after talking with her after my rant she actually said what most of you have replied. She is really worried that I'm making a decision that I'm not going to like at the end. She's worries that I'm going to lose a lot of weight and no longer be her friend. She also informed me that apparently my boyfriend has been talking to her about me losing all my weight and leaving him (and I've been with him almost 4 years). Apparently, she just wants to make sure I'm 100% with my decision.

I'm glad she brought it up, she is like family to me so I'm grateful that she's talking the time to go over the last ditch effort.