Seriously. It makes me absolutely crazy when someone speaks for me (and everyone else).

No, **EVERYONE** doesn't cheat.

No, **WE ALL** don't have the same fears.

No, it's not true that **NOBODY** follows their NUT's diet plan.

No, not **EVERYONE** has felt that way or understands or has gone through the same thing.

No, **WE** aren't all praying for you. (I know I'll be blasted for this one, but we don't all pray!)

I could go on and on... ARGH!! I love that people are trying to be supportive and encouraging and helpful but speaking for everyone else is so patronizing no matter how true one might think it is or might want it to be. I hate it in emails, on facebook, on forums, in speeches, in real life, on the interwebz...I hate it, hate it, hate it!!

I always (snicker) think twice before using all, none, everyone, no one, never, always, we. Really, how accurate can those words be?

I think this one gets me even more than the yours/theirs/toos. Sigh.

Phew. I just had to get that off my chest.

Let the beatings begin.

Edited August 17, 201411 yr by LipstickLady

Great rant. That is exactly why we are here (I'm ok with the not praying) Rave on!

IMHO, message boards are good resources when all members feel free to present, as forcefully as they wish, their own experience, whether it's in the mainstream or not. In the case of WLS, it's the diversity of WLS experiences that describe accurately what WLS can be like.

I was recently on a thread where people were describing their post-op recovery. The reports ran from "Piece of cake!" to "Hardest thing I ever did!" Both reports are true.

Members and lurkers get the best view of what WLS will be like for them when they see everyone's truest, personal experience.

And more humor. Always more humor.

I love the threads where posters are honest and raw about what they're dealing with. It's a gift when members are swept along on those parts of the writer's journeys, with them.

Speaking of prayer, although some are religious and support other that way, others avoid that that scene. It's just a place where we're us. Different. Good moods and bad. It's a place where we agree, disagree, debate, correct, withdraw ideas, good and bad.

If the place were only pissy or only saccharine, it'd be dull as dishwater.

Edited August 17, 201411 yr by VSGAnn2014

IMHO, message boards are good resources when all members feel free to present, as forcefully as they wish, their own experience, whether it's in the mainstream or not. In the case of WLS, it's the diversity of WLS experiences that describe accurately what WLS can be like.

I was recently on a thread where people were describing their post-op recovery. The reports ran from "Piece of cake!" to "Hardest thing I ever did!" Both reports are true.

Members and lurkers get the best view of what WLS will be like for them when they see everyone's truest, personal experience.

And more humor. Always more humor.

I love the threads where posters are honest and raw about what they're dealing with. It's a gift when members are swept along on those parts of the writer's journeys, with them.

Speaking of prayer, although some are religious and support other that way, others avoid that that scene. It's just a place where we're us. Different. Good moods and bad. It's a place where we agree, disagree, debate, correct, withdraw ideas, good and bad.

If the place were only pissy or only saccharine, it'd be dull as dishwater.

I so so so absolutely agree! So if you are in the sweet camp and say "WE ALL agree" or in the pissy camp and say "NO ONE here feels that way", you are taking away from the reality of the diversity of this place. The diversity is what makes for a great experience.

I had a similar situation occur last week. I went to a community veterans memorial where the traveling Vietnam wall was here in Illinois. A dozen or so towns were memorializing their Vietnam veterans from these communities. Four different clergy were there. Of course, prayer is to be expected, but two of the clergy spoke for "all of us" when they ended their prayer giving glory to the "One we all turn to in our time of need, Jesus Christ." Really? All? There was a crowd of hundreds there, in memory of 64 soldiers from a dozen towns. All? I'm Catholic so I expect to hear that at mass each week. But not in a crowd of hundreds where the honored dead are of unknown faith. I found it distracting, and offensive.

Resume the beatings.

.

Edited August 17, 201411 yr by JustWatchMe

I so feel you. That would have made the hair on my arms raise and curl. Not for me, so much, I was raised Catholic but I am NOT religious. I would have been so offended for the Jewish or Muslim people in the audience, not because I am "PC" but because I respect their rights to believe however they wish.

I don't get offended at all here, but I do cringe, even when I agree. No matter what side you are on, if you assume that everyone else is on the same side as you-- you are wrong.

Unless you are on my side. If that's the case, you couldn't be more right.

Unless you are on my side. If that's the case, you couldn't be more right.

Haha! Too cute LipstickLady

Thanks for saying this LipstickLady! It's a huge pet peeve of mine too. I run into that "we ALL do/believe/feel/think/want/pray" kinds of statements in lots of places in my social circles, family, community & online and I very much want to stand up, wave my hands and shout "EXCUSE ME, NOT EVERYONE!" But then, in some cases, I know it is someone with good intentions trying encourage or comfort someone and I don't want to take away from that or start a big political/religious or other sort of debate by pointing out my differences.

But, I am happy for your rant because it validates that I am not the only one who absolutely cringes when I hear this sort of thing! Thanks for making me not always feel like the odd one out. :-)

I agree about all of this, but especially the prayer stuff! It's not that people don't have a right to their beliefs or to pray for whomever or whatever they wish, but there's an insinuation in the language that many people use ("We're all praying for you!") that this is the status quo, when it obviously is not.

Thanks for saying this LipstickLady! It's a huge pet peeve of mine too. I run into that "we ALL do/believe/feel/think/want/pray" kinds of statements in lots of places in my social circles, family, community & online and I very much want to stand up, wave my hands and shout "EXCUSE ME, NOT EVERYONE!" But then, in some cases, I know it is someone with good intentions trying encourage or comfort someone and I don't want to take away from that or start a big political/religious or other sort of debate by pointing out my differences.

But, I am happy for your rant because it validates that I am not the only one who absolutely cringes when I hear this sort of thing! Thanks for making me not always feel like the odd one out. :-)

Exactly why I generally keep my mouth shut. Phew. I was hoping I wasn't the only one, too.

I assumed that "I am praying for you" or "sending prayers up" was just a figure of speech? Like not literally praying for you.

i'll pray for you hon.

Edited August 17, 201411 yr by moonlitestarbrite

No, **WE** aren't all praying for you. (I know I'll be blasted for this one, but we don't all pray!)

Often when someone asks for me to keep them in my prayers will frame my response as "I will keep you in my thoughts". I don't pray - I am not religious. But that doesn't mean that I'm not wishing someone well or hoping for swift recovery or whatever. Prayer is just not my thing.

No beatings from me

Often when someone asks for me to keep them in my prayers will frame my response as "I will keep you in my thoughts". I don't pray - I am not religious. But that doesn't mean that I'm not wishing someone well or hoping for swift recovery or whatever. Prayer is just not my thing.

No beatings from me

I say the same. I will accept prayers because I know the intent is wonderful, it's just not MY thing. Positive energy, good thoughts, love and well wishes, that's what I send.

"I" do pray however, I don't add "WE" because I do understand that not everyone is religious or even believe......"I" am entitled to pray for anyone because it's my own belief and I don't push it off on anyone..... "I" will be praying for "myself" when my surgery day come However, "I" do totally agree with you "ALL" in this forum.... carry on