Hi there

I have tried many, many, many weight loss methods since I was 19 years old (the first time I joined Weight Watchers, but not the first time I was 'fat'). That's 30 years of the weight loss insanity

And while I had success on many of them (temporary success, obviously), the one thing that was never addressed was "Why am I overweight in the first place?"

Weight loss programs focus on losing weight. Some of them have a 'keeping it off' element, but not many do. So, the focus is on reacting to the symptoms rather than causes (starting where it started with the weight gain).

Why did the weight gain start? Is it ALL because of lack of willpower or self-control? Is it because of genetics? Is it emotions? Hormones? Why are some people predisposed to putting weight on when others face similar situations and are not so predisposed? Why is weight loss so hard to maintain?

I doubt very much that I'm overweight because I'm lazy, don't try hard enough, can't control myself, etc. Which are easy judgements from people who have never had a weight issue.

I look forward to your posts.

CowgirlJane - You give me hope - thank you! I will be well on my way to my goal weight when I turn 50 next year.

In this morning's New York Times:

A Mouse Switch Turns Off Appetite

Excerpts:

Deep in the mouse brain, scientists recently found that a very small network of cells, a few thousand at most, turns appetite on and off.

* * *

The conclusion, Dr. Anderson said, was that this small group of neurons might be an appetite-control hub. These are neurons that inhibit behavior.

* * *

Dr. Anderson said that people may well have a similar appetite control network in a similar location, which would be intriguing because the amygdala is so strongly associated with emotion, particularly fear and anxiety. Appetite and emotions are certainly connected, and the chance to find out something about those connections at the level of brain circuits is exciting.

Full article at http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/12/science/a-mouse-switch-turns-off-appetite.html?_r=0

Edited August 12, 201412 yr by VSGAnn2014

I think it has a lot to do with homeostasis. When we get fat for whatever reason, if we stay there long enough, our bodies get used to it and consider it normal. When we lose weight, if we don't reprogram our body that this is the new normal (staying at goal for over 3 years), it will try real hard to go back to fat normal. I've had this happen a few times. Mostly a loss of 50lbs that came back on within a few months. A couple times I lost 100 or more lbs and it came back on before a year. Very sad. Very frustrating. I hope the sleeve is right for me to keep it off

Hi Squizzo

There is truth in that. I have never lost more than 40 or so pounds in one try; have never got to goal weight to re-set anything.

Like you, I'm optimistic that THIS TIME, I will get there. I want it so darn much!

You've made an important decision for your future healthy and lean self. Congratulate yourself.

Wow. What a great question to ponder....

Being completely honest with myself...

I didn't have a good upbringing. (My parents divorced when I was young and then both remarried and both divorced again so there was a constant state of change. I have never felt close to my mom and that is something I struggled with my whole life.) I turned to food for comfort, I 100% believe that. Food became my friend and it's a bad habit that has stuck with me my whole life! I know I have problems with eating my emotions and portions that are way too big. I believe I almost have to retrain my brain about food and hunger. Right now, I get a headache, I eat and feel better. If I'm angry, I grab a snack. It's almost automatic. I'm hoping my Bariatric team will be able to help me with this. I want to use the VSG as a tool to take back control of my life. I've tried everything, myfitnesspal, Weight Watchers, a local doctor ran weight loss program, and I've failed miserably each time. I've been able to overcome major hurdles in my life but my problem with food and weight remains.

Hi KatieD6982

Well, I posed the question so that we do have some awareness around what got us in the pickle in the first place. Yes, life throws us curve balls and bumpy roads.

You've already taken the first steps, so good for you.

When is your surgery?

I'm just in the very beginning of this process. My first meeting with the Bariatric team is on August 26th.

-K

Hi KatieD6982

Well, I posed the question so that we do have some awareness around what got us in the pickle in the first place. Yes, life throws us curve balls and bumpy roads.

You've already taken the first steps, so good for you.

When is your surgery?

For me it was poor eating habits, lack of exercise and pregnancies. My last one really did me in, twins that weighed 6'14 and 7'3 my body has never been the same. The sleeve has not reinvented the wheel it just helps me to do what I should have done on my own, eat less, no junk foods and exercise. It was hard for me to accept but I have no one to blame for my condition but myself.

food anesthetised me. When I ate, nothing bothered me. But I paid big time for it...ballooning up to nearly 270 lbs. on a very small frame. I was morbidly obese and heading towards life in a wheelchair. I absolutely could not walk away from a half eaten meal. I could eat copious amounts of food and I felt entitled to finish all of it.

I'm working on the core psychological issues with a therapist now because I fear gaining it back even though I've met and exceeded goal. I know that I have a problem that is both physical and psychological. Just today, I went into the fridge at work to portion out some eggplant parm and spaghetti that I had leftover from lunch yesterday. Even now, it was hard for me to throw away the extra spaghetti. I really wanted to eat it even though my life is 1,000% better than it was a year ago.

I see it as an addiction same as any other addiction. If I was an alcoholic and found a bottle of booze in my fridge...I'd probably have the same issues with throwing it out as I did with the spaghetti. But I'm not an alcoholic and many a time, I've poured the lefover wine in a bottle down the sink because I didn't want to bother putting the bottle back in the fridge with only a glass or so remaining. Wish I could do that as easily with food.

I see this as a lifelong battle and am just hoping that now that I have my life and mobility back, I never take it for granted again and use that as my incentive.

Good thread! Thanks for letting me respond.

Edited August 12, 201412 yr by gowalking

It seems to me a very complex situation for many of us. I too used food to numb me. I went through a bad time with anxiety post hitting goal...alot of it was I had no way to "quiet the noise". I am learning new techniques and tolerances for "feeling bad". Turns out you won't die if you actually feel negative emotions rather than stuff them down with food.

gowalking; Wow! Thank you so much for chiming in. I guess, personally, I dread this: Getting to goal, and letting the weight creep back in. And I suppose that is why I think (I know) we really have to have a look at why we're overweight (heavy, obese, morbidly obese, plus-size, etc.) in the first place. 142 pounds gone! Gone!!! You rock! And, well, I guess nobody said what really happens once the weight is gone. There has to be some grieving, mourning, closure, ending. You are taking some very important actions to clear your addiction. I wish you strength.

CowgirlJane: you've got a lot of insight, I feel. I'm glad you are staying connected to hear what others have to say. You inspire.

Can I ask? Is it really, really possible to put the weight back on after bariatric surgery? Really?

Now I feel some apprehension, honestly. I do not want that to happen. This is a very personal, very large step for me. And I would feel more than shame or failure if I not able to maintain the loss.

BarnGrl - I "Failed" with the lapband and I can assure you it was devastating. This whole thing being highly personal, painful and all that... applies to all of us.

Some of you may notice that I occasionally tangle with someone who implies (or states) that people who fail at WLS lack personal responsibility etc etc... well, I am telling you this whole thing is way more complex than this cowgirl's willpower. People are often successful until they are not and I am so sick of the tendency to "blame the fat girl" for getting fat again!

What my new perspective is this - I will not give up. I went into shame/hiding over it when it was clear that I wasn't having success with the band. That did not serve me well AT ALL.

If I am unable to maintain my losses I will seek help - whether it be prescriptions, a personal trainer, a hypnotherapist, priest or voodoo doctor. I kid you not, I simply will NOT be shamed into giving up on my health and my new found joy at being able to live a full life.

I have been at goal since Feb 2013 (currently under my goal weight) and I in no way think I have somehow won the lottery and don't need to worry anymore. Management of my health is a daily priority for me.

Thank you! I mean it. I love knowing what COULD happen. And, I am aware that it does happen. And I don't want it to happen to me. My reaction is to say "I'd die", meaning from shame, embarrassment, etc., but that isn't want I really mean. I mean, I would feel awful about myself and would easily believe the 'lack of responsibility' you mention. I would be devastated. Mortified.

So, did you get to goal weight with the lapband? And then the weight crept back?

Darn it all! I just don't know what to think. Even though I don't consider myself an overeater, I realize that I must be to some extent to be in the pickle I'm in. But with only 15-20% of my stomach left at the end of the surgery, surely that tool in itself will be the one that finally grants me weight loss success.

I think I am aware that I will need to work at this every single day, but I also think that I'm hoping it won't actually be that hard.

Is it easier for you as time goes on? Or always a struggle? I appreciate that you don't feel like you've won the weight loss lottery, but is it truly a struggle? In what way? To not overeat? To make better choices? Feeling full isn't an issue, is it?

OMG!

P.S. I've not hypnosis for weight loss, too. No success.

I am 5'5" and weighed 272 when banded in 2001; I lost about 70# over a year and never got under 200#. I maintained for awhile, but when I started having horrible reflux I had to have Fluid removed and regained. My lifetime highest weight was 332 in 2005.

I weighed 308 the day I started my pre-op diet for the sleeve Dec 1 2011. I weigh 140 right now. I work at it everyday, BUT, it is easier to maintain at 140 now than it was to stay under 300# before. I worked at it before too, I never gave up.

I completely understand the fears etc but many of these "questions" are un-answerable. My story won't be the same as yours, and we each need to find our own path, hopefully learning a bit from those who have gone before us.

Do not be fooled into thinking that regain is "impossible" - it most certainly is possible with ANY WLS. In the beginning, the weight loss is pretty easy with the sleeve for most people. As time goes on, your personal choices does like 90% of the work but it is so much easier to do that once you have gotten some weight off.

Earlier I meant that I have tried hypnosis for weight loss with no success.

10 years of weight loss troubles even after you thought it would help to have lap band surgery. That would be devastating. I'm afraid I would give up.

But, never mind looking back for too long. Look where you are now. You are slim, healthy, beautiful and happy. You're living the life you were meant to live.

I sure appreciate the insight and the sharing you've done. This is important. Thank you