I have been seeing many threads on here about people keeping their surgery a secret and it really puzzles me. I understand its a personal choice but whenever someone makes a post about it they never really give the reasoning behind it.

I personally do not hide it. If anyone is curious I gladly tell them and when the questions pop up I am pretty well versed as to the facts behind the surgery so I educate them. The way I look at it is if it wasnt for people being open about it I would have never looked into making one of the best decision I have ever made. To me, it seems that keeping that secret would be more harmful mentally than whatever benefit keeping it a secret would do.

So what are the reasons? Is it being embarrassed that you had to have the surgery to lose weight? Do you want people to think you did it on your own? Is it being afraid of "What if it doesnt work"? Or is it "I just like keeping secrets"

I am not judging anyone, I am just curious.

The best answer I've heard so far @@LipstickLady!!

I have told everyone, I wanted the most support from everyone that I encounter so that they would catch me if I was ever faced with a difficult decision. My family was more than supportive, My co-workers are very sensitive around me which really shows how much they care about me. Some are curious as to why I made the decision, the triggers, how I am doing, after effects, that sort of thing. I don't mind sharing at all because I am a very open person and if I can help motivate someone I am all for it.

I do understand why some wish not to share their WLS journey. it is also a personal decision. I agree with the previous posters about the negative responses that people seem to give without any firsthand knowledge but they do that about different parenting styles as well...honestly, I did this for me. I don't care what anyone else thinks I am doing this for myself and my family. some people are just curious and may be considering it for themselves or a loved one, I will be 3 months out on the 30th of July and I am already down 65 lbs! I am rocking this sleeve and i applaude everyone else who has made this decision to LIVE!!

The hog.

IMG_20101206_193313.jpgIMG_20101206_193325.jpgPriscilla.jpgprissy.jpg

The package.

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OMG he is adorable.

The hedgehog, I mean!

I chose not to tell too many people before surgery because I really wasn't interested in their opinions. I wanted opinions from the doctors and the people in the support group who had the surgeries and from people on these boards who have gone through it as well. I told my best friend who wasn't completely on board at the beginning (wanted me to try more 'natural' ways) but she said when she saw how prepared I was, how much I had researched and how determined I was to do this, she jumped 100% on board and took me to the hospital and stayed with me the first day.

I told the 2 candy pushers at work who used to leave candy on my desk when they knew I was stressed or feeling bad. I told them because I didn't want to arrive back at work with stacks of Reese's on my desk. They were both very supportive and interested in the surgery itself.

Since surgery, I've told anyone who seemed genuinely interested and some of my closest friends. I've gotten nothing more negative than an occasional "Oh, you aren't that big".

I do feel a little shame that I had gotten so out of control that I needed surgery in the first place but I'm also proud of how committed I am to taking charge of the situation.

I have been seeing many threads on here about people keeping their surgery a secret and it really puzzles me. I understand its a personal choice but whenever someone makes a post about it they never really give the reasoning behind it. I personally do not hide it. If anyone is curious I gladly tell them and when the questions pop up I am pretty well versed as to the facts behind the surgery so I educate them. The way I look at it is if it wasnt for people being open about it I would have never looked into making one of the best decision I have ever made. To me, it seems that keeping that secret would be more harmful mentally than whatever benefit keeping it a secret would do. So what are the reasons? Is it being embarrassed that you had to have the surgery to lose weight? Do you want people to think you did it on your own? Is it being afraid of "What if it doesnt work"? Or is it "I just like keeping secrets" I am not judging anyone, I am just curious.

Bob- I'm specifically curious about your opinion on my situation. (Or anyone else's). My surgery will be in December so I have a wait ahead. I have not had a problem telling people now that I am having the surgery. All of my coworkers know, my family knows, my close friend knows. But. My husband and I have a couple that we're really really close friends with. We only see them about two or three times a year though. Due to living a few states away. They are gorgeous. Like hot. Thin, muscular, fit, beautiful people. I've always felt uncomfortable around them. They have NEVER made me feel like that, it's all me. But I don't know if I want to tell them. I am afraid of their judgement on this decision. But I feel like it's dishonest if I don't. I don't know what to do.

Here's another thought on this topic ....

I haven't been sleeved yet, but expect it to happen next month. I have my final consultation tomorrow (nutritionist). After that, it's insurance submission, surgical scheduling, pre-op diet, and snip, snip, stitch, stitch.

So until I'm actually on the sleeved side, much of "what I believe about WLS" is pure theory. I suppose it's possible that after WLS I could become a full-throated advocate for WLS and stand outside grocery stores handing flyers to fat people. But don't bet on it.

Still, a few years down the road, who knows how I'll feel about all this.

In the meantime, I'm keeping that genie in the bottle until I have more experience and less fat under my belt.

Thank you for bringing up this topic. I am about a couple months from having the Gastric Sleeve (waiting on the sleep Lab backlog). I'm not an overly private person. In fact I don't generally care what people think. However, I just don't want to explain to, nor hear the opinions of those who have no idea what it's like to be in my shoes. However, I can't imagine keeping it a secret afterward as I fear people will assume I have a life-threating disease like cancer causing the rapid weight-loss. I don't wish for any undue concern so I will gladly tell anyone interested (nosey) about the surgery after it is done.

Just goes to show ... everyone is not the same.

I sure don't have any problem with Jersrose doing it the way she did it.

It's just not my way.

Totally agree. I don't mind who knows about my surgery and a girl at work is now looking into it for herself which could be life-changing for her too and not quite the same as telling her about my period. I don't tell her all of my personal details but she can see that it works and can investigate it for herself.

This is an amazing tool and chance to get healthy and feel good and I feel like any criticism will bounce right off of me. Hard to argue with results.

Now, in all honesty, I didn't talk about it a lot before surgery because in spite of everything I knew, having this surgery was a little scary, like stepping of into black space. Hard to talk about something you don't know. Now, 52 pounds down, I'm singing from the rooftops, "it works!" I also look with serious scepticism at anyone who loses a lot of weight and credits it to just exercise and diet.

Overall, I guess threads like this are good for us all to share our views and differences without judgement.

I choosed to keep it private because I was afraid I wouldn't be successful, I work with someone who had the lap-band and even though they lost some weight they are still overweight, part of the reason is they didn't follow the guidelines set by the dr. Now that I'm 6 months out and down to 185 pounds my dr says that I could be a walking billboard, in fact my wife is following in my footsteps and getting sleeved next month, so to make it easier on her I've started to tell our close friends so that she can see how they react before she tells them about getting her surgery, and they have all been supportive and behind us 100%.

I shared with all family and coworkers. The support I received from everyone was somewhat overwhelming. I'm glad I shared. I took my health back!!

My reasons for being pretty private are similar to a lot of other people's, but for me there's the added complication of being an American expat in Germany. Yes, Germany, like the US, has an obesity problem, but it's not nearly as serious. Also, I live in a major metropolitan area, so really not a lot of fat people. I was used to almost always being the fattest person in class, on the bus, at a bar, at a party, etc, and usually the fattest by far. Obesity just isn't something people are used to. However many ridiculous misconceptions many Americans have about obesity, double that here. (Just don't drink soda! Have you tried exercising? Fat people are always so lazy, etc, etc, etc.) I just don't have the patience to not only explain the surgery to everyone, but also the biological and political realities of obesity, weight loss and fat-phobia. I'm an advocate for a lot of causes, and I don't have energy to add another one to the list. This one is personal and just for me. Maybe I'll feel differently when all the weight is off though. We'll see.

I work with a bunch of judge mental women in a hospital.. Someone from another dept had it done and all they did was talk about it.. And mind you they are all twigs.. So me hiding it is my preference.. My surgery isn't till Oct 1.. So I have already started with the watching what I'm eating etc.:

I am very excited to have this done and don't want any negative to it.. I hate drama.. So that's why I'm telling a selected few...

I have my first appointment to get the ball rolling on Tuesday. I have only talked to my husband about it, and 1 coworker that I am fairly close with. After I get more info I will begin to tell my family. I haven't decided if I will tell more coworkers. 4 people in my office had the lap-band and after initially losing, gained it all back. And I have heard the way people gossip about them behind their back, so I would like to spare the drama, at least for a while. I am sure it will come out eventually, but by then I won't care.

@@LosingIt74 If you already know how people talk in your office, then if I were you, I'd keep it quiet, at least until losing and keeping the weight off for a while.

I chose to keep the surgery a secret at work, because I didn't want to go through the hassle of having to get cleared by the employee health folks to come back to work (RN)... that said, I will gladly share the information about my surgery with anyone who wants to know how i've lost all the weight, but so far, although I've lost almost 50 pounds, only one person has been brave enough to say anything, which is fine by me! As far as friends and family know, I live far enough away from most of them that it hasn't been an issue, but if anyone asks, I'm willing to share!